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I dont know what to title this, does anyone ever speak there mind. I happened to get into trouble because i made a comment saying 'good he is not here' the bully at home, he on holiday and i was glad because i wouldnt have to put in complaints because things are fine without him but as soon as he is here he causes trouble and more upset for me. So does anyone just speak there mind like i do as im honest

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"To tell the truth is cheeky" - that's something I learned as a child.

 

It seems to be a specific problem for autistics: not to know when to lie (politely).

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Whilst I lack an official diagnosis, I have always got into trouble for being too honest. I'm forever saying inappropriate things about myself and other people. Luckily my family half expect it :) Outsiders just think I'm aloof and sarcastic.

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I think you can learn the rules of social lies, if you start young enough, and get the rules explained explicitly when necessary.

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There are such things as keeping something quiet and telling a lie. With me if a staff member asks if i gone to choir, and i said yes when i did not that would be a lie but if i did not say anything just kept quiet then i would not be lieing. they can read my mind when i do that.

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"To tell the truth is cheeky" - that's something I learned as a child.

 

It seems to be a specific problem for autistics: not to know when to lie (politely).

 

Some do no understand the concept of white lies for sure. I never had to teach my son to tell the truth, he just comes out with it. I said to him once as he was discussing a rather big lady (!) on a bus I said "Don't talk too loud it will upset her, as he was determined to address her as 'The fat lady .." After a while, he said to her "My dad said I am not to call you a fat lady, who eats too much, but you should eat less... then you wouldn't be fat.!" He gets me in all sorts of problems ! he will just say what he thinks..... he gets told in school every day if you eat too much or eat the wrong things you get fat, so that is where it comes from.

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hi,

 

diagnosed 2 years ago with As.

 

i am astonished by the amount of lying done by others.

 

i lost my job through difficulties caused by being outspoken ( or not telling lies when asked a question)

 

i read a good book about liars and the prevalence, but unfortunately can't find the title just now.

 

I would suggest you get one from the library, it might help you look at lying a bit differently.

 

I am currently listening to Dale Carnegie how to win friends and influence people, on youtube.

 

It is something i would recommend reading /listening to for any Aspie. i mention it just now as it has several ideas ( from a US president if i recall correctly ) about how to get your opinion across without being too direct, also the best way to win an arguement is not to have one.

 

best wishes,

alexon

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How can telling the truth be wrong in any situation. Social skills are important but is it important to tell lies to somebody just to fit in. I believe the truth is the truth and if anyone can't tolerate that they have to look at themselves for the reason.

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Whilst I lack an official diagnosis, I have always got into trouble for being too honest. I'm forever saying inappropriate things about myself and other people. Luckily my family half expect it :) Outsiders just think I'm aloof and sarcastic.

I would say that your just being honest. People have to except that mistakes are made and being truthful is the best policy. The only people that can't benefit from the truth are those that really do have bad things to hide or embarrassing things they are ashamed of.

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Mine likes the game machines in pubs.i tell him he has to be 18 to play them, he is 13 and they are money eating machines that eat more money, than pay out they are gambling. So he recently sees a young couple playing them, while I pay the bill and he says to them are you gambling?

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As an honest guy myself who tends to just say it as it is, I would suggest the best thing to do to begin with is work out in your own mind, why you don't like a certain person being around.

 

Here's an example from my working days, I once had a colleague who was on the one had quite a dominant character, yet most of what he said was a load of rubbish, taking things people said out of context and trying to force everyone to listen when I certainly didn't hold much value in what he said, so it got really annoying. It was nice and peaceful whenever he was away. I started to find this person awkward an annoying, and this is the reason why.

 

So perhaps try and think why you don't like a particular person, explain it to yourself, so if the issue comes up you can explain it rationally, perhaps balanced with one or two good things about the person.

 

You will mostly likely find that if you can explain rationally why you have a problem with someone (rather than just saying 'he's a ...) what you say will resonate with others you get on well with and you'll build a stronger connection with them. And it will help you as well. :partytime:

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For the last 4 months my 14 year old son with ASD, has been attending a NAS sponsored course called social eyes.they meet every Wednesday after school to interact and learn social skills like taking turns talking, respecting others points of views and life skills like eating out and going shopping.he is in a group with other teenaged boys on the spectrum, he still looses his temper, that won't stop, but its helping him to cope better in social situations.The shame is, there is no girls in the group, he needs to learn, how to inter act with girls.he also goes to a boys club, run for teenaged boys with autism, to help them inter act, playing games and eating together, he is having to learn to play in teams with others and to follow game rules, its a very good club he is not too bad in company now, but he still needs lonesome time in his room, with computer games.

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