Lyndalou Report post Posted March 7, 2013 I don't think I've come across a much better article than this. Well written and evocative and tells it like it is...especially the part about nobody listening. http://www.thestar.com/news/investigations/2012/11/17/the_autism_project_mothers_with_asd_ask_why_scientists_are_missing_girls.html Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Noskcaj86 Report post Posted March 7, 2013 The maternal bond bit is sad i hope thats not very common though. I think maybe i have a mild form of ASD, she said a lot of stuff that i have also struggled with and still struggle with. Im pretty sure Jacks dad has Aspergers, the online tests also point to that with him. But hes never had any assessments for it. Very interesting how Autism seems to run in familys. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smileyK Report post Posted March 7, 2013 Clicked on the link it doesn't seem to come to the article as would like to discuss ,debate on interesting subject topic! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Noskcaj86 Report post Posted March 7, 2013 It worked for me?! I didnt read the article, i just watched the video... bit lazy of me! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lyndalou Report post Posted March 7, 2013 Still working for me Smiley - does take a while to come up though! I think the 'Maternal Bond' bit is quite like the 'Empathy' argument, I think we have it and demonstrate it in a different way than is percieved as 'normal'. I looked up what 'Maternal Bond' means and the general jist is that you 'act in a motherly way' or have 'a motherly bond' with your child. Absolutely no more explanation than that! To me that means nothing. I am a mother but I know I do not (some of the time) act in what is considered a 'motherly way' if I compare myself with many of the mothers I come in contact with. Often, if my children cry, practically I know they need attention and I know they need help but my first reaction is 'make it stop' (the noise), then an analysis of the situation (I suppose a bit like triage in A&E) and then the emotional part kicks in. It can take anything from a couple of seconds to half a minute. Is this a lack of 'maternal bond' that I do not immediately feel their pain or know their needs? Often too, if I see rather than hear an incident or accident I act quicker and feel the emotional response quicker too whereas I think 'normally' mums are programmed to hear the crying etc and react (?). It's only a hypothesis though. I cannot stand 'schmaltzy' and 'cheesy' quotes about kids that other mums do; to me it's sentimental rubbish and means nothing. It made me feel nauseous when there were mums on my fb page who made a huge song and dance and talked about sniffing their way through a box of Kleenex when their children went to nursery for the first time and they felt 'bereft' about their 'babies' going off on their own. Is that having a lack of 'maternal bond'? Yet, I'll fight for my kids tooth and nail and ensure they are as healthy and happy as they can be, their bodies and their minds are exercised and they are given every opportunity to grow into balanced, educated and respectful individuals. I'll research every ailment, try to ensure communication with the people I need to work with on my children's behalf is kept open and steady, keep them clean, feed them well and try to be respectful of their individual personalities. Is this lack of a 'maternal bond'?. I really think it's all in the perception... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Noskcaj86 Report post Posted March 7, 2013 Im the same as you with the crying, my 1st thought is STOP! But the only way to stop the crying is to do what they need doing, weather its feeding, nappies or a hug! I think thats pretty normal for most mums. But if they are hurt i will react much faster without thinking, more of an instinctive reaction than a thought out one. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smileyK Report post Posted March 7, 2013 My mum maternal bond was severely lacking and damaged due to PND destroyed so much when we were babies children is whole family illness so hard to live with behind closed doors! Has impacted I believe on 'us' today with added complication and confusion of ASC which left festering in background unknown and undiscovered for years built on frustrations simmering wasn't good situation be in!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
