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Mike_GX101

Dependence vs Independence

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This is the personal "battle" I'm struggling to find the 'right balance' right now between being dependent on parents for their reassurance and guidance to reduce my stress /anxieties in life! yet via being independent young adult scares me surrounds me dread and fear!I panic when got to face the fear of independent head on can be 'depressing' fact of life! And not an exciting life adventure it is suppose to be! ;( XKLX

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Well, I need support to do things. I was not taught a lot of things in life when i was living at home with mum so i live in a supported housing to help me learn those independence skills. I can now cook on my own although still have accidents not as fearful with using hot things again, but i doubt it be different when its a gas cooker as mum would never trust me with that. I still need a lot of help to organise my bedroom as it can get messy thats because i do not know where to put things so things go on floor especially when there is very little room to put them

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I get so frustrated/confused when try work out how to 'tackle' way round on how to do 'own way' of independence! As so much involved! And don't like swallowing my pride and asking for help and support! ;( not easy and takes self-esteem battering and can be such draining,tiring task /challenge to face up to in the first place! I feel guilty ,bad I can't do these skills at 'my age' as feel like I'm lazy /de-motivated! - feel like I'm failure/let down XKLX

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Independence.

 

One thing though: if your own children depend on you, do you lose your independence without entering a state of dependence re. yourself?

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Every one of us is born totally dependent upon others for all our needs. If we live long enough, every one of us will return to that state of total dependency, either in the geriatric wards of a local hospital or "in care" of one sort or another. But we don't like to think of ourselves in that way. We like to see ourselves as independent, separate and autonomous. It's one of the myths in our society.

 

In reality, none of us is completely independent of others. Everyone requires the services of others in the community, requires shoes, food, transport, telephones, etc, etc, which he cannot supply for himself. And that's not a bad thing at all. Mutual interdependency fuels our social and economic success as a society.

 

The myth of the "normal" person as independent and master of his own fate is a persistent one. But it's clearly wrong. And if we think about it, we wouldn't want everyone to be like that.

Edited by Antolak

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I strive to be as independent as possible, I've always tried to do as much as I can by myself. Sometimes I do need help, especially when I've not been aware I needed help. I've had to learn a lot of life skills by myself, so I have gained independence that way. I need to depend on myself, so that I don't anxious when there is nobody around for support.

 

I think its healthier to be somewhere in between.

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