Friend who uses me

[dekaspace]

Known this guy since I moved to area summer 2010, didnt see him for almost a year then about 3 or 4 times a week(as I lived in town centre and he had free time, but then took advantage) and noticed things like xbox games going missing out of boxes, or I lent him 2 dvd boxsets over a year ago and have not got them back.

 

At random he suddenly just stopped coming round or answering his phone, 3 weeks ago he came round for first time in almost a year and was chatting, and gave me his new number, then he rang tonight to say he was getting some cannabis from his dealer who lived around the corner and wanted to stop at mine on way and so I asked him to get some for another friend(handed him £30) I dont smoke it myself.

 

This was at 6.27 tonight, and he hasnt been back or answered his phone(one time it did ring which is suspicious)

 

He has basically done me out of £30 but I am on basic ESA so thats a lot of money to lose!

 

A bit of background on him, he is 25, works cash in hand but gets jobseekers, smokes a bag of £25 cannabis a day at least, and at one point started college, signed on and worked full time cash in hand yet still says he is skint.

 

He has a electricity meter rigged up for free electric, steals food from supermarkets etc.

 

So yeah he is a bad person but thought I would give him another chance and he steals from me!

 

There is still a chance he will come back, but with his history with me he would probably claim his dealer drove him somewhere then he had to get last train home or something then "forget" to give me cash back for months.

 

I have a feeling thbats why he stopped seeing me last year, he owed me £40 and months later still owed me it despite having like £75 of cannabis on him one time when he came round and him knowing at that time I was living off bread, pasta and biscuits as was so short of cash had to get crisis loan, eventually he gave me his sky box to sell(I had to make advert, sell it, get cash for it and give him it for no reward) so I had enough and kept the money(which was only £30 so he still owed me £10) and his "girlfriend" sent me abusive texts saying how they were starving(despite the same day him buying £25 of cannabis) and had not eaten in 3 days.

 

A week later he was still coming to mine every day to spend hours just wanting me to put on movie trailers for him(and wanted me to let him use my pc to check his emails and facebook etc) then stopped coming round after one day I refused to let him borrow a dvd as he already had 3 boxsets and owed me £10 still.

[Lyndalou]

This is a person who in simple terms is known as a 'user'. Personally, I would distance myself from someone like this as much as possible and make no effort to keep in touch. I've known a couple of people like this and they were not good for my health. I tied myself in knots trying to figure out if I was being used or if I was just being too hard on the person. If you get so stressed and upset about being financially and emotionally abused and being harrassed about keeping money that is rightfully yours, there is a reason for it....this person and his girlfirend are not nice people and they will carry on doing it if they having a meal ticket and access to money for their dope. If they want to spend all their money on drugs then that is THEIR business but if they want to spend YOUR money on drugs then it is YOUR business. Kick them to the kerb. Don't answer their texts and even change your number if you need to. DO NOT give them any more money. If they keep giving you hassle then report them.

[trekster]

He sounds like bad news to me keep away from him.

[would_like_to_stay_anonymous]

been there done that mate, ditch them,

[phantom sneeze]

I've been there and got the teeshirt too. Some people live parasitic lifestyles and leech of one person until they find somebody eles to leech off.

[Mike_GX101]

@ Dekaspace

 

Sounds like hours of free fare at your expense and worse it could look as if you're an accomplice.

 

Get yourself out of that situation - get yourself an advocate if you have to. You know what is going on. Act.

Edited March 23, 2013 by Mike_GX101

[Echo]

It's been over 5 yrs now since I kicked my best friend (of over 12 yrs - since school) to the curb/stopped communicating with him completely - In a similar situation (because of his pot smoking). This included; barking commands at me, "borrowing" money and disappearing when it needed to be paid back, stealing from my house... this list continues.

 

Although it still hurts a great deal (for many years he was my only friend) thinking of it, I had no other option (after giving him the benefit of the doubt/chance after chance to change etc...); but to look after my own interests/safety.

 

This is ultimately what you will have to do if you want it to stop - £40 (+ a couple of DVD box sets) may be a lot of money when you are skint, but it is nothing compared to what the total sum would be if you let this continue (not just from an economic point of view but an emotional one too).

It is a relatively low price to pay for piece of mind that you will not allow this to happen again.

 

Having said this, it's your decision to make. It's only my opinion that you do not need this person in your life.

 

Best of luck with whatever you decide to do

[Sally44]

This person is not bringing anything positive to your life. He is using you, your home, stealing things and taking your money. And you are getting abuse from him/partner etc too. And you have all the stress and worry on top of it. Get rid.