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Telling Others About Your ASD

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Hi All,


Ever since I was diagnosed a few weeks ago I've been thinking: is it best to tell all of your friends and family about your ASD or should it be kept to yourself? I can't decide.


On the one hand I hope that by telling everyone I know that I have Asperger's syndrome it will help them to understand me more and that I've acted strangely, and sometimes upset people because I have a condition that I was born with and cannot change. Not because I'm a self-centered prat who doesn't care about their feelings.


However, I worry that most will just think that telling them that I've got AS is an admission of insanity, which of course it isn't, and they would start treating me like I'm mentally retarded - or even worse they might just avoid me all together. A fair few of the people I know, I fear, are old fashioned like that.


So, I'm hoping to gauge some opinion as to what others may do, or have done, in similar circumstances.




- Bob

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Hi Bob,


It was about two/three weeks before I told anyone about how I was screened and initially assessed for AS.


At first this information scared me, but more I began to read about it, the more I understood the person that I am. From this, I made the choice of telling those closest to me (deducing that if it helped me to understand myself, then it would also help others to understand me - when to offer help, what to do when...etc).


What I did make clear to all of those who I've told is; don't treat me any differently than you would treat anyone else (or have treated me before), I am still the same person I was last week; just to approach certain situations that I find myself in with more understanding from now on (I have asked them to read more about it - educate themselves -understand the behaviour - how to spot a possible meltdown (what sort - temper or depression) and preempt it...etc). Essentially, how to help me when I can't seem to ask for it.


I too hate the thought of anyone talking to me like a toddler -It's patronising, especially when you know that most of the time your brain is working faster than theirs!!! (well, on certain things anyway :) ).


Like I have said; I have told parents, my partner and my closest two friends (no-one else). I have used their reactions and behaviour to gague how I feel about telling other people. For now I've decided to add other Aspies/ASD's and college Tutors to this list. Once I receive my clinical diagnosis, I may become more open about it (see what happens). So, what I'm doing is basically; taking baby steps.


Mostly it's a very positive reaction. The only niggling issue that I have is; people keep asking me if I'm o.k (tutors mainly - this happens every 15 mins or so)! - I'm going to have to address this with them asap. I don't see it being too big of a problem after talking to them.


Ultimately it is your decision to make, I don't want to push you either way.


Good luck,



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IME telling others that your autistic/Asperger hasn't always helped in fact people have told me what I can and cant learn to cope with my ASD!

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