General Advice Please

[squox]

Hi Folks

 

I am new to the forum but not new to ASD. I have been through hell and high water to get a dx for my now 17 year old son, but even with the dx, things are no different. I don't suppose I knew what to expect but things are not getting any easier.

 

I had hell with him at school, and I knew insticnltively something was not right from a very early age, but you know how schools are and how things drag on, but cutting a very long story short, after so many problems with secondary school, I just said enough was enough and pulled him from school, demanding something was done. He was being bullied left right and centre, was adamant he was a freak and everyone kept telling him he was weird, you know the sort of thing I mean. He found communicating and making friends nigh on impossible and his school work was terrible. He came home on day telling me he could not take anymore and he was in such a state, it made me feel awful, I can't explain it to you.

 

They wanted to expel him becuase of his behaviour and I was furious, becuase his so called behaviour was because of the incessant bullying and lack of support from the teachers. He was telling them that he could not understand things and they were telling him that he was stupid!!!!! Can you believe it?

 

They wanted him to study german, but he was adamant he wanted extra learning support, which they refused to give him.. I was so exasperated, this is why I pulled him from school, then I was hauled in by the local council because he was not attending.. its just stupid now I think back.

 

Anyway, he was tested for dyslexia which he did not have though he had dyslxic tendencies and that was that. Anywa, I would not leave it at that and pushed for a consultation, and low and nehold, Aspergers was dx. That was bout 18 mnths ago and now he is part time employed.. and so begins another episode.

 

I am so frustrated for him and annoyed at his so called employers, who are now making his life a misery because they do not or don't want to understand his condition, and they are doing their utmost to push him out. The poor lad has already been through so much, is this what he has to look forward to for the rest of his life?

 

Sorry I have gone on a bit but I am just so... deflated and tired and angry and annoyed all at the same time. I am disabled myself with a chronic condition and know what its like to be penalised for having a disbility, but its so hard for ASD sufferers and I find the caring side difficult too becuase of so many reasons.

 

How do I put his condition over to his employers in simple terms so that understand his behaviour and manner?

 

thanks for reading

[oracle]

Hi and welcome,

 

I have two sons with ASD one 18 and we had a terrible ride through the system with him, finally diagnosed at 13 but out of school from 11. My youngest was diagnosed aged 3. My eldest is still officially being home educated although I feel that this may cease any day now as we have been form filling again to prove that he is still receiving and education.

 

Are there any specific problems at work or is it a case that they have realised that your son will need a little more understanding than other employees? Or is it more a case of them just not being interested enough to find out about your son?

 

Maybe you could speak to them and find out what the problem is. What kind of thing would you like to make them aware of. I firmly believe that as parents we are probably the best experts on our own kids. So although I could maybe share my thoughts on some general points about AS it would probably be better if there were some specific points regarding your son. Hope that makes sense?

 

If you would like to bounce any of your ideas or thoughts off me please do?

 

Carole

[nellie]

Welcome to the forum Squox,

 

You and your son certainly have been through hell and high water. You will find lots of support and understanding here.

 

I have two sons, the eldest (26) was diagnosed with autism at 19, my youngest (24) was diagnosis with AS last month. My husband was diagnosed with AS at 52.

 

My youngest son suffers from depression and has been out of work for 4 years and is looking for some voluntary work, to 'test the waters' before seeking paid employment. We could have a bumpy ride ahead.

 

This is a link to Berkshire Autistic Society who carried out a Support into Employment Project. Three Guidance Documents were produced which provide advice on employment issues including disability discrimination. I hope you find them useful.

http://www.autismberkshire.org.uk/BlueTrim.../employment.htm

 

Best Wishes

 

Nellie xx

[squox]

Thank you both for your replies.

 

With regard to his job, his employers are diabolical, I have been in to see them on a number of occassions to try and fill them in on the subject and assist them, as his training needs are different, but they still do not support him, it seems they merely see him as 'a pain'.

 

They make no allowances for his communications problems or the fact that he takes things so literally, and the fact that he is so methodical. They make fun of him being slow all the time and take the proverbial becuase of his condition. I have actually raised a formal complaint about this and am due to meet them next week, but its just stressing him out all the time which makes him moody and down.

 

They also cannot et to grips with the fact he is so honest and tells it how it is, he has been physically assualted, verbally abused, bullied and threatened and they are tyring to tell me its all his fault. I am just swamped with it at the moment and don't know what do for the best. he is not going in at the moment as I won't let him be treated this way, and since he has not been in he has been a different person!

 

I am wondering if I should get CAB involved for more and better advice on the matter? I am aware of the DDA and am looking into various routes of things, but now I feel he is being victimised by one of his so called managers who has said he 'has washed his hands of him and he doesn';t like him'.. some Manager.. what do you think?

[bid]

Hi

 

I would contact the NAS as they run a scheme for supported employment for people with AS.

 

I would also contact the Disability Rights Commission 08457622633 for advice about the way his employer is treating him.

 

Good luck <'>

 

Bid

[nellie]

Hi Soux,

 

You could try getting in touch with your local Disability Employment Service.

 

It might be worth giving the NAS helpline a call, they may be able to advise.

 

http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=617

 

Has your son thought of changing his job? It may be this employer is never going to accept his condition and give him the appropriate support. The Disability Employment Officer should be able to help.

 

I hope you manage to get some help and support soon.

 

Nellie xx

[squox]

Yes, too right, he is looking for another job but there is no way they should be treating their employers in this manner, its just not acceptable.

 

I will contact the DEA tomorrow, and am awating a call back from ACAS and we'll go from there.

 

Thanks everyone, your support is appreciated.

[smallworld]

Hi,

The Shaw Trust also run a similar scheme.

I remember them from my long ago working days. the young lad who worked for our organisation was supported by a mentor figure (a much older member of staff) and half his wages were paid by the trust. it was a very successful placement, in spite of the fact that this was a training site for hundreds of young construction workers who I found scary !

It might be worth contacting them to see if you can find your son a more supportive place to work.

 

wac