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Mum2jsic

Problems with School Understanding our Son's Condition.

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This is my first post & I've joined to ask for help concerning my children who have High Functioning ASD.

 

Our nine year old was diagnosed last July, which was a battle on it's own trying to get the school to see his condition. They seem to be fighting us every step of the way. We have tried to explain to the school his requirements; his little quirks; his very nature which makes him him. They listen one minute & then state that he seems ok at school. It gets to the point that our son comes home and has major meltdowns about what has happened through out the day, he hardly sleeps and hardly eats, We have told the school in meetings and in writing about the major things that can trigger a meltdown. They take this on board and nod their heads but things don't change.

 

He is also claustophobic; so when they put two clasess together in the same classroom with 46 children and 3-4 teachers he gets overly hot, scared, pale, and comes close to passing out, he is not allowed to change his seat so there fore he can not move to sit by a window or the door so that he can leave, when he gets overwhelmed. The list is endless.

 

We have recently been told that the school and Local Authority will be undertaking a CAF for the family. This was only due to our eldest & his brother having slightly lower attendance. This was due to his condition but the school didn't seem to appreciate it.

 

Our question is what can we do to make the school change/understand his needs? What's our choices in upping the response to the school? Surely as they get extra funding for him they have no excuse to not undertake the stuff needed for him.

 

any and all responses will be read and taken on board.

 

Thanks

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Hi. From my own experience I would say that you should believe in your gut feeling. Unfortunately the reality is that without a Statement of SEN it is difficult to get the correct support. I understand that this system may soon change but until then it is worth considering applying for a statement. I would also suggest that you look for a new school. With my son we hesitated for too long despite the warning signs. Work at getting this school to help him while looking for what may be more appropriate. I recall a book about " How to be a velvet bulldozer". This might help. What I would say is that you should never ignore your gut feeling. My son was a 7 year old in mainstream and is now a happy 17 year old with friends about to go to uni. Its all about the setting and teachers.

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Hi, I don't really have any advice to be truthful. We have the same with our son, the meltdown about little things that have happened at school. We recently had a meeting in school were (for the 100th time) I tried to point out that when he is sitting 'daydreaming' or 'fiddling' with his pencil doing no work he is thinking...something is on his mind and most probably be causing him anxiety. Do they listen? no he just doesn't want to do whats in front of him.

 

Take for instance the teacher who he trusts telling him he doesn't complete his work because he is lazy, this would of been water off a ducks back to most but to my son lazy means - useless, worthless, therefore the teacher does not like him! but she doesn't see the fact that his work/behavior has improved slightly since this day because he is trying to make her like him again, she thinks it is because she has 'threatened' him with speaking to me????. This was supposedly one of the best strategies they had to get him to complete more work but because I wanted my son to approach me and tell me if he hadn't completed his work (I do not want my son to spend his time worrying if I will be cross about his work when I don't even know) so that I can find out why and work with him. He has struggled with his written work for well over 2 years now and because of this they think it is my fault so they have told me to make suggestions as to how to get him to complete his work.

 

This school year started off well, his new teacher seemed far more relaxed in terms of mistakes and general tidiness of written work, slowly building up his self esteem. During his first parents evening (2 months in) the teacher very sternly told me that my son was now doing his work more neatly and better presented (lets face it that was probably my fault too).......my heart sank because I knew that it would take him considerably longer to complete the work if he had been instructed to do it neatly and I waited for that chat about him not completing his work again, low and behold 2 weeks later there it was and he has spiraled ever since. He is now working through the lessons he enjoys to complete his written work so again is starting to lose interest, at the end of the day in his mind 'what's the point?' and I would be thinking exactly the same. He is doing what has been asked of him, he is doing his work neatly and still getting punished.

 

Will the teacher actually decide to take on board that I have never known my son to go without something he enjoys for the sake of something he doesn't (which we have used for 8 years!). That if he was just being lazy, defiant, not wanting to do something he would do nothing at all, there would be no maybe I will today...maybe I won't. Will she of had a light bulb moment when I mentioned the neater he writes the longer he will take and go back through his school book and see when/why he actually started to spiral? I'm not going to hold my breath. By the way this teacher has very recently informed me she has worked in a special school and has experience of working with children with Aspergers, I am slightly skeptical about that........Telling a child with As that he/she is lazy, and they are the worst child they have had to teach, would be the last thing an experienced teacher would do, nor would they use emotional blackmail.

Edited by windylou

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I think asking for an assessment towards a Statement would trigger the LA asking their EP to assess, and presumably also the NHS SALT.

 

I would also get a referal to OT for sensory issues, as his claustrophobic behaviours are more likely down to sensory systems getting overloaded and overwhelmed in a large open plan classroom. My son had one of these in years 1/2, ie. two different classes in one room with just a curtain drawn across for some parts of the lessons. He became very distraught, started hiding and trying to get out the class.

 

When you know who is going to assess your child, phone them and speak to them and ask the EP and SALT and OT to carry out STANDARDISED ASSESSMENTS. Only these assessments will give an age, percentile or standard score result from which you can compare to 'average' and also see if progress is being made.

 

Also get a copy of the SEN Code of Practice. Special Educational Needs Code of Practice - a guide for schools and LEAs about the help they give to children with special educational needs.

Obtained free - 0845 60 222 60.

 

Make sure you always take notes in meetings - get someone to minute them for you if possible ie. your partner/friend etc.

 

Always put things in writing.

 

You can ask the school "how much of their delegated budget for SEN are they currently using on your child. How is that used in terms of hours per week and staffing arrangements. What is the maximum support they can provide under this funding. What environmental changes have they made, if any. What support does your child receive during unstructured times such as breaktimes and lunchtimes. Does the school have any social communication programme or use social networks such as circle of friends."#

 

The SEN process is a graduated one. So, as per the COP, which you MUST read - chapters 7 and 8 - the school has to meet the child's needs, and record what progress that is achieving.

 

When a child is on school action plus, the EP should become involved and carry out an assessment [which might just be observations - that is why requesting standardised assessments is so important], and give advice to school. The child should also have IEPs, and the targets should be SMART. Parents should attend IEPs and the targets set should be specific, measurable, achieveable, relevant and timed to be achieved by the next IEP meeting.

Edited by Sally44

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Hi, sorry I haven't posted a thank you or a reply so here it is a big thank you for your advice it was really useful.

The school is still rubbish and no help whatsoever having said that I have no need to worry as in Sept my three sons 2 have high functioning ASD, will be starting a new primary school, the SENCO has already been to the house to see the boys at home on a Saturday they have a transition day on the 10/7/13 and the boys just seem happier counting down the days till they can leave.

 

A big thank you for your help

Mum2jsic

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We persevered with mainstream until he finally refused school for all of year 5 primary. For the start of year 3 we moved him to a mainstream 'enhanced resource' primary for children wtih ASD. They had a higher level of ASD children and supposedly a higher understanding. That still did not work.

 

Obviously each child is different. But one thing you mentioned that I knew my son could not handle was large classes. In primary they had two classes in one big room divided by just a curtain. My son was climbing the walls. He could not concentrate. Did not understand what instructions were relevant to him. He was repeatedly found in the toilets. Or hiding under tables or in the cupboard. He would get very upset and angry. He would refuse to walk to school and hit himself in the face and even began vomitting.

 

We had an educational tribunal and won a place at an independent school that book him immediately from December of year 6. He will remain there until 19. This school is for children who are around average cognitive ability. There is SALT and OT on site. He also gets specialist teaching for his Dyslexia.

 

This school has class sizes of no more than 8 peers.

 

If your son needs small class teaching, then mainstream is not going to work because the classes are too big. If he has to be withdrawn from mainstream classes all the time for small group work, then he is not accessing mainstream education is he.

 

There maybe a mainstream school with an ASD unit, but either the children in the Unit maybe more severely autistic. Or they will still feed children across to mainstream for classes.

 

I too suggest you write to the LA and ask for an assessment for a Statement. If they refuse you must lodge an appeal, as many LAs refuse automatically to weed out those parents who are not prepared to appeal.

 

How is he doing academically and socially at his current school?

 

My son's former mainstream were exactly like you say. Nodding and agreeing and then doing nothing. The headmistress did say to me - off the record - that if my son needed such a different approach/environment/teaching/therapy etc then maybe they were not the school for him as their ethos was geared towards the children that were doing well - which is how they said they should be. But she would not say that on record because of disability discrimination law. I wish she had said it because it would have saved us alot of time.

 

Anyway, by SEN law the LA must place your child where you want them placed [even if that is an independent ASD specific school], as long as it is not to the detriment of the other pupils, and as long as it is a good use of their resources. Ie. the LA will argue that they can provide everything he needs in one of their own schools. But they aren't are they.

 

You need to keep a diary of what is happening at home. What he says and does. Make sure everything you say to school is in writing. Always take notes at meetings. Always check to ensure that things are being done.

 

I went into my son's former school unannounced one day - on the pretext of a 'chat' with his teacher. I noticed that his 'visual timetable' had a date on it that was 2 weeks old. I also noticed that his work station was highly decorated and next to the window. So he would sit there mesmerised by the decorations the teacher had decided to cover it with [which made it totally pointless having it!]. And she told me that they used to give him the option of "do you want to join us and do x, y and z or sit at your work station. He always chose the work station and would sit there all day doing nothing unless a TA went and got him started doing something.

 

And what schools/professionals seem to always underestimated is how anxious our children become. For them they do not understand or enjoy school. They know they don't get it. They get very anxious. And they have to sit there day after day during lessons and breaktimes really struggling to keep it together. My son tried so hard because he did not want to be "a bad boy", and he could not take being told off by the teacher or getting his name on the board etc. But by the time he came home he just looked ill and was pale and weak with daily headaches etc. That isn't how school should be.

 

When we were referred to Clinical Psychology I asked them how much physical force I should use to get him into school - becuase he was refusing and the LA were becoming unhappy. They said I should only use "gentle encouragement". I asked them to put that in writing to me, which they did. That kept the EWO away. And it made me realise that my son would not be in school from that point forward because gentle encouragement would not get him into school. He could not take it anyway. He actually got to the stage where we had a suicide attempt. After that he stayed at home for about a year, whilst the LA, school and NHS did nothing much. But we did finally win and get the placement that is suitable for him and where he is making progress. Life isn't perfect. He still struggles. But I can get him in with gentle encouragement.

Edited by Sally44

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