New and Completely Out of my Depth

[Smoofage]

A few weeks ago I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome and whilst it has been a relief to actually know, I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. I'm graduating from university in three months, I can't go live at home for reasons I won't go into, I have no money and no job prospects despite having done quite a lot during my time at university. I don't really have anyone to talk to about this, I also realised I don't actually do anything 'fun' because I don't know what to do and I think it's really starting to affect my sleeping and eating habits, which isn't ideal with my final exams and essays due soon. Is it like this for a lot of people? Also, do people find it more beneficial to talk about their condition, or keep it to themselves? I don't speak about it to people, and I have no intention of telling anyone in my family, but I don't really know whether it's worth talking to someone about it or not?

[positive_about]

Hi, and welcome to the forum. Well, generally speaking its better to talk about things than not. Its not easy to have fun socially due to hidden rules, anxiety, etc. - I wouldn't worry about it too much, its just something to work on, allow yourself to have fun now and again for starters and take it from there.

Your uni should have student support services, so you may be able to talk to them about things, and they should also provide careers advice to help you work out where to go from here job wise. The national careers advice website is very good, and I think you can call them for advice. Its important to remember you are a person who happens to have Aspergers, you have strengths and skills and need to focus on how you can use them in a job.

 

Do you need a plan for life? Sometimes it pays to be flexible, and see where life takes you - and if it doesn't work out, try something else. I've got a lot of IT skills and experience but getting a job using them is proving very difficult - I've been too stubborn and focused on getting an IT job using the range of IT skills and experience I have, but now I know I need to be more realistic, and be more flexible about what my job searching.

[BruceCM]

In general terms, it does depend who you'd be talking to! It's usually good if there's at least a few people with whom you can talk about such things, though

[Shnoing]

After I got my diagnosis, I had a longer period of time when I didn't know how to handle all the new informations and new-found aspects of my life (also from the past - re-interpreted).

Luckily, I was (and still am) in a relationship and a steady job, so I could just "carry on" while I tried to find myself (again).

 

I talked about it, but only to my wife (the children have heard some, too), other persons are not in the know, even those who are aware of our son's autism (e.g. at school).

[allyd]

hello. You may be pleased to know that there are many people out there that are in a very similar place to you.

 

Have you noticed any people that are like you at university ? One of the postings earlier suggested student services for advise. Yes they can usually point you in the direction of support. I was lucky enough to have an advisor at uni that understood aspergers, so she could help me in many ways. Its definitely worth asking there.

 

I feel you do need some sort of plan if you are absolutely on your own and are unable to go home after uni finishes. Try to have some sort of plan of what you need to do and prioritise what needs to be done first. i suggest getting through your exams is extremely important as that time is approaching fast, so get to your student advisor this week ? In general, people need to talk to get things out in the open, they say if you share your problems they don`t look half as bad. Us aspies also need to talk but its knowing who we can talk to !

 

I always try to plan my goals or at least look at the goal and try to work out how I`m going to achieve it. For you that may be where you are going to live once uni finishes ? Again, this may be something your advisor can support you with. everything will fall into place but you are newly diagnosed, on top of all the other pressures of study and life.

 

Fun is difficult for many of us, it does get easier as you get older i think but on the whole its not that easy. just remember you don`t have to fit into what other people do or act like and fun comes in many forms. I`m not a fun person but I have other qualities, I am good at problem solving and being supportive.

 

good luck with your exams and if you need to chat just come back to the forum : )

[trekster]

Have you tried your local disability or welfare department of your university? i did when i couldnt pay for my prescriptions. Also NAS has information on applying for benefits. Can social services help you find somewhere to live after you leave university?