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pinklaces34

Dealing with being a grown up as an adult with aspergers

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I don't know if this is gonna sound silly or if anyone else has to deal with this, but basically I am really struggling, I am 28 years old and have three kids and the problem is I am in this routine of constantly going to my mums house when I should be at home cleaning and just generally getting on doing things grown ups do but the truth is I would rather be reading or on the computer at my mums. I have to come to realise that my mum and my parents house is a security blanket that I keep going back to and its an incredibly unhealthy habit and is definitely driving my husband mental. I just feel like I really struggle with all the demands of being an adult, like when my husband talks to me about work sometimes I just sit there waiting for an oppurtunity to walk awake cause it is stressing me out. I am also really bad at eating a healthy diet and exercising, I try to be good and it lasts for a week at most then I am back to my old faithful routine. There is other stuff as well, I am not formally diagnosed, hoping to look into this soon but after finding out my daughter is probably on the spectrum and doing a lot of research I am almost 99% sure I have aspergers. Any advice would be gratefully received.

 

xx

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ive found reading books about how others have experienced and coped with their autism beneficial.

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Do you have any recommendations as a lot of the ones on Amazon have mixed reviews. I have Aspergirls, Aspergers for dummies, The complete guide to Aspergers syndrome and Born on a blue day.

Thanks

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Hi pinklaces34

 

I'm an Aspergers Dad. When I was 28, I still had no idea why I was "different" and had trouble making friends. I think my daughter could be on the spectrum.

 

Like you, I find sitting in front of the computer at the end of the day calming and relaxing. My wife could be stressing out doing household chores and sometimes gets a bit mad, though she is very understanding of my condition.

 

I read "An Aspergers Marriage" and "22 things a woman should know about men with Aspergers" and it's opposite: "22 things a man should know about women with Aspergers" (sorry can't remember authors).

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I struggle with getting things done as seems overwhelming sometimes

 

I tend to break it up as in one task eg housework,banking then a reward of a episode of a fave tv show or 30 mins on net then onto next task

 

I wouldnt reccomend aspergers for dummies not really much deep insight

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it would ve easier if you mentioned some titles you might wish to re

really depends onthen I can let you know whether ive read them or recommend them.

it really depends on the subject as im bad at remembering titles.

I do like Jessica Kingsley publications books though.

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I ended up married with kids - and I tried, I really did. But just couldn't cope in the end. Couldn't cope with the noise, or the disruptions, and I ended up withdrawing more and more from life until I realised I didn't have one anymore. Spent all night after coming home from work on the computer. I used to hate going home too. Used to look forward to going back to work. Just wasn't meant to be... I ended up getting divorced. Best thing for both of us. I'm now happier, and she is currently engaged to somebody else who can no doubt offer the support that I couldn't. I still see the kids every other weekend and we get on just fine.

 

I think the tipping point for me though was getting the diagnosis of Aspergers... I didn't take to it very well.

 

On a positive note - now that I understand things a lot clearer, things are going much better with my new girlfriend and her kids. Theres been the understanding there from the outset.

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Well done for splitting amicably even though the situation must have been difficult for you both.

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