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[Chris86]

Hi, i'm Chris, i'm 26, from Bradford, West Yorkshire

 

I was diagnosed with Aspergers about a year and a half ago and to be honest I've been trying to accept and understand it ever since. While watching a tv programme last year, someone said "change what you can, accept what u can't". I haven't forgotten this since hearing it and although it's hard to accept, over time I've realised its not something I can change.

 

This is the first time ive talked online about it but thought it would help by joining this site so I can communicate with people who actually understand and know where I'm coming from.

 

Since I was diagnosed, I've come to realise how big a difference there is between being aware of something and understanding it. I have come across so many people who have been made aware of the fact I have Aspergers and they automatically think they understand it but its so obvious to me that they don't understand at all. Naturally this can become very frustrating especially when I find it difficult to explain to people to start with.

 

Anyone else found this or similar?

[Echo]

Hi Chris,

 

Welcome to the forum

 

Sorry for the disjointed (and long) way that this is written (haven't quite woken-up properly yet). Still, I rant

 

I am currently waiting for my Dx (diagnostic assessment). However, I am 100% confident that I have Aspergers, Dyslexia (which I have a full report on), ADHD (which I have a provisional diagnosis for) and Dyspraxia (a mild form which I have a provisional diagnosis for) .

 

I have always found disclosure to be a good thing (apart from when I apply for employment). However, I do regularly experience the problem you have highlighted above.

 

For example:

 

I'm currently on a degree course. I informed my personal tutor (and program leader) about my possible Aspergers from the very beginning.

I felt very comfortable at first that he understands the possible difficulties, talents and other traits associated with the syndrome, having been told that he used to work at a school for autistic children and later at a residential college for autistic adults.

 

However, it is becoming increasingly clear, that this is not the case (although he ensures me that he does).

 

The order of modules, Who will be teaching the modules, The deadlines for each task, The location of the sessions, Break times etc - Keep on changing

 

I am being forced to take part in group-work every session (being reminded of clear communication and eye-contact all the time)

 

I am being forced to present work to my peers each session (without enough time to prepare - I know my "stuff", but not how I need to say it on the spot concisely!)

 

The way that the class-room is set-out - I always have a group of people sat behind me (also blocking my pathway to the door), the lights flicker and hum...

 

All the other students are holding me back (as the way the course is set out - I always have to wait for the weakest-link/or downright lazy students to catch-up)

 

The tutor is holding me back as well (organizing meetings - telling me not to start anything until he has spoken to me - cancelling the meeting - re-scheduling again for two weeks later - cancelling again, then telling me to crack on with the work as the deadline is approaching (despite the fact that I am the only one handing in work on time (or at all which has become apparent recently!), despite being the only one with any learning differences - only for this to change to allow an extra two months for the others to do the work - how is this fair?).

 

This means that my organization and routine setting cannot be done and I am uncomfortable in the classroom/s (despite really enjoying the subject and learning) - at first, it was O.K, I had one assignment to do at a time, now I am battling to complete 4 (from different disciplines which are all academic, technical/practical and time/attention consuming). It is a PT course, now because of lack of understanding and organization (and because I am determined and a perfectionist), I am working more than full-time hours to complete the work.

 

I have informed my tutor nicely about this. However, nothing is being done as he has to weigh up what other people want too - am I right to "feel" that the others have no right to have a say in what's going on as: it seems what I have to say is ignored, they haven't handed a single piece of work in and they (individually) only turn-up about 20% of the time (I have had a lecture delivered to only 3 out of 40 students most of the time - myself being one of the three)?

 

You get the general idea.

 

Although extremely frustrated, I am overall a happy bunny because I know that the work I am producing (on time and in less time than the others) is of a high quality (1st class).

 

I will keep dropping little nuggets of information to my tutor, in case this will improve the situation

 

I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing this problem (at any severity)

[Chris86]

Hi

 

Its good to know other people are experiencing it too. It seems like you're having a very frustrating time on your course. My old supervisor at work sounds like your tutor, in that she came across at first as if she understood but then soon after it became clear she didn't really have a clue.

 

At least you know the work you're doing is of high quality

[Echo]

At least you know the work you're doing is of high quality

 

It should be (the amount of time I spend researching, working and re-working it)! LOL

[trekster]

Hello and welcome