Blackandwhite Report post Posted September 27, 2013 (edited) I will start this off I have loads of things flying in and out of my head - things I do, say, think, want and more All these things will help people that are confirmed or not confirmed of having Aspergers - Autism or simply and combination of all cope and understand how it feels so lets start a list - from the horses mouth so to speak When i grew up looking back I was not without company but was happy with my own company as I found myself easy to understand and deal with - less complicated that way - but at the time I had no idea this was not a regular way to feel - I just did it that way seamed normal for me Edited January 28, 2014 by trekster Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tanya52 Report post Posted September 27, 2013 (edited) Very early in my life I observed that my classmates always preferred to play with other kids, not me. No matter how hard I’d try to become popular, the result was always the same - isolation. From my point of view kids are extremely aggressive nowadays. I wouldn’t stand a chance, if I was a kid today. Edited September 27, 2013 by Tanya52 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
positive_about Report post Posted September 27, 2013 (edited) My worst symptom is probably withdrawing into myself, living in my head - it affects my ability to work, maintain relationships, it causes a lot of problems - at school I just wanted to learn, kids distracted/bullied me even teachers joined in, so I felt no desire to make friends, I couldn't wait to leave school. Then my parents pushed me to get a job, and I was back there again. I just accepted I was different, a freak, and tried to make the best of it - but at work there are no hiding places. When you are young you can get away with being a bit quiet/awkward, but at 25+ people just don't understand - and now I'm 40+ its even more embarrassing. I agree, school kids seem much more aggressive and abusive these days - more destructive. And young adults aren't much better. I feel even more like I'm living on the wrong planet. Edited September 27, 2013 by positive_about Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blackandwhite Report post Posted September 27, 2013 I will deliberately avoid talking to my next door neighbor by sitting in the car pretending to be on the phone rather than getting out and having a pointless conversation with them Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Echo Report post Posted September 27, 2013 I dress in clothes that make me feel comfortable. It doesn't matter if they're for men or if they match (tending to buy multiples of the same t-shirts/jeans etc in different colours because I know that they feel nice on my skin, thus, I have replacements when they start to wear out and have to be thrown away). I also tend to wear multiple layers because I like to be prepared no matter what the weather - I can't function when I'm cold. I like my clothes to feel heavy on my body, just like in bed (2-3 duvets), because this keeps me calm. When I was at school, the other students were nasty to me because of this (and my other eccentricities - more to do with the fact that I excelled in my studies...I'll post more about this soon). It also caused a lot of problems for me at home too - my dad thought (and still thinks) it's funny and accepts me for who I am (I even get "hand me downs" from him when he's bought clothes that don't quite fit or he doesn't want to wear them anymore). My mother on the other hand, will try and force me to buy dresses and heels etc... because she gave birth to a little girl and now that I am a woman I should dress like one. This is: tenacious/persistent, she will not take no for an answer. Ever pushy, no matter what I say, it's still my fault, that she feels embarrassed if I have a meltdown when she wraps me in something which resembles a doily. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tanya52 Report post Posted September 27, 2013 Ah sweetie, I’m so sorry! What a torture! I’ve got some tactile issues too. I don’t like to be touched but learned to cope with it. It’s very important in relationship if one wants to have some. When I buy closes I like I’d be wearing them daily until got very tired of it. I have LOTS but only use a few items. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blackandwhite Report post Posted September 27, 2013 Clothes here for me - I am obsessed with wearing knitted tank tops which people find a little odd. I try to wear one all day every day and the same color pink jeans and blue shirt if I can. I also only like baggy clothes out of work and struggle not to change from work clothes immediately yesterday changed the moment I got in only to remember I had a meeting to got to I conclude it is a subtle madness for me Presently analyzing why people pt toothpaste on the brush and not straight in the mouth the easy of a squirt on the tongue is so easy compared to getting it on the brush. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Echo Report post Posted September 28, 2013 Brushing my teeth is torture too. I've always had a problem with this activity. Although, an electric toothbrush seems to make things a little better (it doesn't bother me half as much although, it does still bother me). I have a real problem with putting things into my mouth. Either I excessively chew on my nails... or I gag/vomit when, for example: I brush my teeth. 9 times out of 10 I have to brush my teeth 3-4 times each time I try because of the vomiting. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Echo Report post Posted September 28, 2013 Oh yes, baggy, heavy and warm clothes are the best!!! I always buy them at least 2 sizes too big I'm not so keen on touching either (especially: taps on the shoulder or someone brushing past etc...), but, I've learned to cope and even like when my partner hugs me now (as long as it is like a bear hug and I know that I'm going to be touched beforehand). Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blackandwhite Report post Posted September 28, 2013 Meal times - need to be orderly table laid everything ready tissues sauces, s&p very annoying when stuff not ready or not all hot at the same time - wife super chilled so causes clashes !! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blackandwhite Report post Posted September 28, 2013 Meal times - need to be orderly table laid everything ready tissues sauces, s&p very annoying when stuff not ready or not all hot at the same time - wife super chilled so causes clashes !! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blackandwhite Report post Posted September 28, 2013 Meal times - need to be orderly table laid everything ready tissues sauces, s&p very annoying when stuff not ready or not all hot at the same time - wife super chilled so causes clashes !! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blackandwhite Report post Posted September 30, 2013 Struggling to be content is one I hate. Never really content is one that gets me. Feel guilty for not being content. Beeping noises such as batteries on phone going flat gives me an immediate annoyed feeling like having a slap in the face Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tanya52 Report post Posted September 30, 2013 Some colour, patens & noises like whistling for example trigger anxiety or mini-shock which results a confusion. The smells are another story. I found some tolerable, some addictive and some overwhelmingly intolerable ( like some strong perfumes with " chemical artificial components". At the same time I'm OK with most natural smells ( even a sewage stink is just a bit disgusting but doesn't make me anxious or ill). Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
scumble Report post Posted October 13, 2013 Hypersensivity to sound, particularly in the 2-5khz range. Spaces full of lots of people can sometimes push me towards a state of panic because I can't filter out the background. This seems to get more difficult as I get older. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
positive_about Report post Posted October 15, 2013 I too am hypersensitive to sound, I've learnt to tolerate loud sounds but I prefer quiet. I've always struggled to focus when there is background noise, it cuts right through me at times - one reason I didn't do as well at school as I could have (there was always too much chatter). A few years back I saw my psychiatrist and her PC hard drive was chattering away, not that loud, but it was really distracting and I didn't focus on what she was saying and missed bits of what she was saying. Its one reason I haven't been able to finish my uni studies, because I need peace and quiet to learn properly, and that's not possible/reasonable here right now. I also hear really quiet things that other people don't, my dad was the same - its a bit worrying as you wonder if you imagined it, seeing as nobody else heard anything. Sometimes, rarely, I am listening to someone and suddenly their voice is much louder and easy to pick out and understand - but then it drops back and I struggle again. I find music can be really annoying at times, yet other times it helps me think/focus - funnily enough, if its too quiet its more annoying. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aura Todd Report post Posted October 21, 2013 I hate loud noises, especially road drills and will cross the road to avoid (almost put annoy ) them. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tanya52 Report post Posted October 22, 2013 The house alarms too, which seems like going forever ( the normative limit is 20 min!). Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freenarative Report post Posted October 29, 2013 I havhe 2 things that I notice EVERY day.: 1) motion. I rock / twitch / wibble my leg / flick my fingers etc (mostly the leg) I notice it more at the computer because the harmonic resonance wobbles the monitor and I have had to FIRMLY secure it to stop it from detatching fromn the mountings. 2) I have verbal diarrhea. I can talk for England and If it's something I like then you have to give me some OBVIOUS clue to shut up (such as saying "so, anyway...") or I'll just go on... and on... and on... and on... and you get the idea. HTH Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Echo Report post Posted October 29, 2013 I don't know if anyone else does this too: Over analyze every situation every day - what someone says for example - Why are they saying that? What do they mean? Is there an alternative motive to why they are saying this? Are they being sarcastic or direct? Was that an analogy/metaphor?...Are they angry with me? What is the emotion they are trying to convey?... Over-explaining everything!!! E.g instead of just saying "yes" to the question: would you like something to eat? I tend to expand and say: I haven't had anything since breakfast and that was eight hours ago. I didn't have time for dinner because I was working on (insert essay here ) 5 mins later...now I'm hungry, yes. External internal dialogue? Explaining everything you do in a step by step way like you're teaching a class how to make a cup of tea? I tend to leg bounce every time I go near a computer - it helps me to relax Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freenarative Report post Posted October 29, 2013 Over analyze every situation every day - what someone says for example - Why are they saying that? What do they mean? Is there an alternative motive to why they are saying this? Are they being sarcastic or direct? Was that an analogy/metaphor?...Are they angry with me? What is the emotion they are trying to convey?... YES Over-explaining everything!!! E.g instead of just saying "yes" to the question: would you like something to eat? I tend to expand and say: I haven't had anything since breakfast and that was eight hours ago. I didn't have time for dinner because I was working on (insert essay here ) 5 mins later...now I'm hungry, yes. YES External internal dialogue? Explaining everything you do in a step by step way like you're teaching a class how to make a cup of tea? YES I tend to leg bounce every time I go near a computer - it helps me to relax YES I also Find I leg bounce in time to my internal monologue and/or music. If I am listening to fast/loud/heavy music my leg goes 10 to the dozen but if I'm just chillin' and or reading Etc. it bounces in time to my heartbeat (I can hear my heartbeat because of a medical condition I have) When it comes to analyzing things I find it's a plus point of how my mind works. I have 2 main hobbies and an interest that I have an encyclopedic memory of and I decided to put it in writing. it's fun. I am a fan of zombie/apocalypse genres and I saw somewhere "do you have a zombie plan". Now, don't get me wrong, my science mind says "that it'll never happen" but my hyperactive planning mind said "No, it won't happen but you could build a plan for it,,,, and it's a plan that is NOT finite". Unlike my Tea hobby which has a finite number of teas (so far I have 147 DIFFERENT types totaling 2.55 KG), planning for the unknown is something that will keep me going FOREVER! Sorry if I over defined but I wanted to explain fully. HTH Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AlexTLF Report post Posted October 31, 2013 Some of my Partners Aspergers Traits: Social Interaction and Communication 1. Struggling to understand how other's may perceive what she has said. 2. Difficulties in understanding that another person may see a situation differently to the way that she does. 3. Feeling that others are "rude to her every day" - is this reality, or is there a different explanation? - "What you see is what you get"! 4. Making Faux Pas (putting her foot in it) - but also thinking there is no need to remedy the situation because "she is always right" i.e. described as being blunt. 5. Repeatedly lost relationships (sons, son's wife's family, neighbour, brother, cousin). 6. Take things literally - can't read between the lines and then make an inference from this. 7. Unable to read other people's body language. 8. Basic sense of humour - childlike. Need for Routine/Restrcited Obsessive Interests 1. Great attention to detail. 2. Attention to numbers. 3. Housework done in the same order - if stopped, have to start at beginning. again, not because something bad will happen, but because it "just feels wrong". Sensory 1. Sensory overload, especially when out in busy/stressful places. 2. Verbal/ auditory distortion. 3. 'Video replaying'. 4. Electricity 'arcing' in head. Cognitive Style 1. Rigid black and white thinking - people are all good, or all bad. - expert at seeking evidence to support your expectation of perfectionism in herself/others. 2. Perfectionism - "I must be the perfect patient". - Exceptionally high expectations of herself and others. 3. Paranoid thinking. 4. High levels of underlying anxiety - leading to reduced. comprehension of what is said to her, and less ability to think logically. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Echo Report post Posted October 31, 2013 @AlexTLF Snap Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gina3 Report post Posted November 9, 2013 Ditto for loud noise, comfy clothes, keeping things in order, over-thinking, fidgeting, leg-bouncing, rambling on and paranoia! Did anyone ever have recurring bad dreams? I used to have one as a kid, where my mother was trying to kill me (maybe based slightly on truth!) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gina3 Report post Posted November 9, 2013 PS It was a brilliant idea to start this topic! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
brooke10 Report post Posted December 27, 2013 Gina3 totally agree, some interesting posts here Yes I've had re-accurring dreams about my teeth falling out but I think that's down to years of orthodontic treatment! My main symptoms are over explaining myself and in too much detail, hyper sensitive to cold - need to be warm or I cannot function. Clothing I have to have many layers on and don't get on with dresses very well - especially frilly flappy ones. Prefer stretchy and plain. I can panic in crowded places especially if I'm with someone else. On my own I can focus a lot better and deal with it. Much prefer socialising 1 to 1 or in very small groups and with people who are non judgemental and have no agendas that make conversation stressful and complicated. Strong sense of morality and get riled about injustices in life. This is very positive as I'll passionately stick up for people but on the downside I get frustrated with people who just sit on the fence. I suppose this is part of the black and white thinking. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
collectingrocks Report post Posted January 2, 2014 +1 on many of the above In addition to these, for me especially is attachment. Attachment to certain objects, photos and the opposite sex. Because of lack of social skills, if a person of the opposite sex gets into friendly chit-chat, I do my best to reciprocate but want to "hold on" to that person and be friends. I may not always know if this is inappropriate Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
watergirl Report post Posted January 3, 2014 This is an excellent topic....... 1. Prefer my own company most of the time....or the company of one person, the same person, who is happy to go along with me......but frustrating if you want to share an interest with this person, and they are not interested. 2. I also avoid pointless conversations with neighbours. I find all sorts of things to be doing intently if they appear....My neighbour opposite (who is very nice) has a 5yr old chatterbox who always tries to engage me in conversation when I’m outside working on my sailing dinghies (my total obsession).... I have no idea how to deal with this, so I hide as soon as their door opens.....sad, as they are nice people....it’s me that is odd! 3. Clothes....yes, prefer the same comfy things day in, day out.....bought multiples of Batman T shirts (on offer) years ago......was ok with it myself, but got teased a lot .......this sounds so “Big Bang Theory” doesn’t it.........I think I’m Sheldon’s long lost “other sister”.......I swear we were triplets! Multiple layers....yes....you can always take one off and carry it.....but not put one on if it’s not with you....can’t function in the cold, or heat.......so I’m a blob of clothes in winter.......but nearly indecently clad in warm weather.......(much preferable) 4. Why does everyone wanna hug???? All my friends (mostly gay women) hug on meeting me....I’m ok with it once I get to know them I suppose.......but some of them are also obviously on the spectrum and don’t want to hug.....so I have to make a judgement as to which do, and which don’t.......can’t I just say “Hi” and that’ll do???? 5. Sudden unexpected noises....yes, beeping phone as it dies etc.......phone ringing (usually a sales call) ..people whistling.... I shouted at a guy in a supermarket this week for that ....Taxi beeping for a neighbour on arrival (get OUT of the ****** car and knock, why don’t you!!!!!)..... I hate it and get VERY aggressive.......taxi drivers are at risk in my street! But music is essential to me ..... I need music (of my choice....repetitive dance music....techno/trance/D& to function if doing something like this....got 1997 “Daft Punk” essential mix on as I type this)....and yes... I hear all sorts of “quiet” sounds too.....and when I was young, people’s voices suddenly “went loud” too.....doesn’t happen now though...wierd! 6. Smells.....now this is really interesting...mostly it doesn’t bother me ...but certain synthetic sweet perfume smells make me feel sick......however the smell of the local harbour mud (think stinky sewers, as that is what it is like, and most folk don’t like it ) is fine with me... I associate it with sailing, my passion, so it’s good.....so is it all about how we associate things? 7. I Talk too much (hate the words used to describe this above)......need to be given firm indicator that I should shut-up! 8. Over-analyzing /explaining.....yes, constantly accused of this....and internal and external dialogue......was what led me to diagnosis.... external dialogue has become a series of humming/grunts to narrate what I am doing.....alone, I still talk myself through things, but if my partner is around it is reduced to internal commentary with grunted intonation according to mood.....it annoys her a lot....but I need some sort of outlet. 9. Leg bounce /Repetitive movements/Stimming.....Yes...but more if I have had alcohol.....as soon as I have an alcoholic drink then I relax and stim.....finger flicking first and most obvious and a lot of hand flapping etc... plus rocking in my computer chair if sat down......I’m totally cool with this though.....my chill timeJ 10. Alex... I indentify with a lot of your partners traits that you list.....and you seem to understand, which is good J 11. Life’s injustices...... I want to find the nearest phone box, don my super-woman outfit and sort them all out...Grrrrrr! 12. Attachment.....yes...occasionally I meet someone I like and only later do I realise my attachment is too strong....this can lead to huge disappointment... I find it so hard to tell when someone really likes me, or when they are just using me.....doesn’t do my self confidence any good at all L 13. In addition to the above points that others put forward, I would also say that breaks in routine are a real problem......the Christmas/New Year period where everything changes is a real problem for me......I’m so glad to be back to normal now.....even though I don’t get involved, it really upsets my psyche. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites