Had my referral and the DX is in....

[mumtoadozen]

After only a couple of weeks between Dr apt and triage telephone appointment with the mental health team, I had my appointment with the clinical psychologist last Friday.

 

There was a bit of a confusion to begin with as the GP had given the impression I was Bi-Polar for whatever assumptions she had to do that, but, after showing her the printed off results for the AQ test and completing her own evaluations, I have been given the dx of Aspergers with ADD.

 

It's taken time to sink in and I've gone through a myriad of emotions, anger being the predominant one as I've been ostracised by my own parents for being 'different'. Both divorced when I was about 18mths, dad had nothing to do with me, mother lied and never told me about my biological father until I was 15 then at 19 I found him, yadda yadda yadda. But, I know it's because of my inability to deal with pressured situations that I retaliate, push people away to sacrifice the option of being hurt and this is what I find difficult to cope with.

 

I'm wanting to amend things with my dad, there's no hope with my mother, we just clash. Anyway, does anyone think it's worth disclosing my diagnosis with my dad? Not that I'm looking at it as to 'excuse' my behaviour, just explain and educate him into why I am the way I am............does that make sense?

 

I've got a lot I'm trying to accept with this 'official' diagnosis and though it's a long time coming, and not totally unexpected, before was really a case of just questioning myself and putting my behaviours and traits down to just being 'quirky' and 'bad'.

 

I dunno, guess getting it off my chest with people who do 'get it' is something I need to do.

 

[Special_talent123]

Did the gp diagnose u because you should of on gone an assessment with a specialist with series of questions even asks about childhood and asks your parents to be present too

[mumtoadozen]

No I had my assessment at the with the clinical psychologist at the adult mental health team unit, the lady I saw is specialised in adult diagnosis for ASD.

 

I did the questionnaires and even took the ones I had done.

 

She would be unable to do anything that involved my parents as neither are a part of my life, and even if they were they wouldn't have any concept of my early development as I was raised for the first five years by my grand parents and great grandmother, all no longer with us I'm afraid. I know from the word of my grandparents that I was a chatterbox from an early age so that confirmed for her that it wasn't HF autism.

[Special_talent123]

A chatterbox. My friends mum daughter who is only 10 I think is a chatterbox and she has aspergers. But that could be u talking about something that interests u can't stop talking about it, that's another sign of autism

[Merry]

Hi Mumtoadozen, I love your photo by the way. I was diagnosed as an adult too. I understand how many emotions and changes of attitude can come with it! It changes everything. For me, it helped me to forgive myself for not living up to other people's expectations all my life. Instead of just feeling a failure, I began to see that I never stood a chance of being what they (family mostly) wanted me to be. Instead, I looked at how hard i had tried in life to please them and for me, all that work and sacrifice is enough. The one thing that changed in my family, is that most of the time, they no longer expect normality from me, understanding that I simply cannot and never will provide that for them So there has been a lot of acceptance and healing. It may help your dad to know. Funny, my gp `decided` it was bi-polar also when i was first referred, but within the first 5 mins with my psychologist, she said it was certainly aspergers. Since the diagnosis, I no longer feel i need to apologize for my quirks and differences, or try to change myself. I suppose that's the main difference now for me. I'm here and I care Mumtoadozen.

[l'anima semplicetta]

You said exactly what I wanted to say, Merry

 

Adult diagnosis can pull you in a lot of different directions (it certainly did in my case), but the bottom line was forgiving myself for my childhood/adolescence/early adulthood. Everything fell into place, and while this wasn't always easy, it has laid a lot to rest.

 

Disclosing to a parent is a tricky issue, and I guess you have to weigh up whether the parent could/would understand, what you could gain by telling them, and how would it affect you if they could't handle it. I chose not to tell my parents, as I in my case there was little to be gained, but everyone is different.

 

Good luck, whatever you decide!