hi

[Serenity]

Im not sure if ive got aspergers, but ive always struggled to talk to people, even family members i didn't see very often when i was young, in 40 now, and still struggle with them now. I just thought i was shy, and hate it when i blush and people comment, makes it worse and i just want to dissappear.

 

Ive realised from my fiance that its possible i have aspergers, as i have a lot of traits he has. He hasn't been diagnosed yet, but is seeking a diagnosis.

 

Ive realised i dont know how to behave in certain situations and watch other people to see how they are. I dont even know how to be most of the time, as i feel i dont know my identity. I copy other people, and cant make my mind up who i want to be like each day. Getting dressed when in not at work is a nightmare as i dont know how to dress, what goes with what (embarrassing as im 40, should know by now!) cant decide either. When i was younger, i was obsessed with rearranging my wardrobe into colour order.

 

I dont want to go on too much right now, i struggle to get things out of my jumbled head in one go. Ive lurked around here for a while, and finally signed up.

[Serenity]

Im dissappointed as i wanted to get my intro right first time, but messed it up, i couldn't find the right words, or think of all my problems. Im shy, very sensitive, and find critiscism hard (i critiscise myself all the time tho) but i fall apart when other people say anything bad, and i go into self destruct mode and stay like it for ages.

I have sensory issues, loud noise, background noise irritates me, especially clapping on tv programmes (what's the point of it!) heat/ cold really gets to me, certain foods, textures, and fabrics stresses me out. (and when ive got my mind fixed on having a certain thing to eat from the supermarket, only to find they haven't got it, i get really annoyed, and puts me out for a long time!

Im slow to get things, have a processing delay. Change stresses me, i like familiarity, or i feel anxious, need things done in order or i feel 'out of sorts'

 

Being in groups is terrifying, i struggle to join in, and make eye contact. When i can just about manage eye contact, i wonder if im staring, suddenly it hits me 'am i staring' (i mean, how long is looking at someone before being classed as staring?!) when i can talk, i realise when its too late, that ive gone on too much, as people make excuse to leave, i never learn.

When in not at work, (im a carer, which has loads of things i struggle with) im lost, as the work routine is gone, i just drift around, no structure to the day, i try to do housework, but find that overwhelming:( wish i could be efficient and organised, always struggled

 

Anyway, think that's enough said, sorry for long post, i said i talk too much !

 

 

..

[positive_about]

Hi Serenity, welcome to the forum

[Tanya52]

HI Serenity!

 

Welcome aboard! Great to meet you

 

I'm a bit like you with my wardrobe. When I was younger I was obsessed with the stains on my clothes and it was a nightmare. Now I'm a compulsive cleaner, a bit like Sheldon form the Big Bang Theory

 

You're going to be alright here, we are your friends.

Edited October 10, 2013 by Tanya52

[Jimmy]

Im dissappointed as i wanted to get my intro right first time, but messed it up, i couldn't find the right words, or think of all my problems. Im shy, very sensitive, and find critiscism hard (i critiscise myself all the time tho) but i fall apart when other people say anything bad, and i go into self destruct mode and stay like it for ages.

I have sensory issues, loud noise, background noise irritates me, especially clapping on tv programmes (what's the point of it!) heat/ cold really gets to me, certain foods, textures, and fabrics stresses me out. (and when ive got my mind fixed on having a certain thing to eat from the supermarket, only to find they haven't got it, i get really annoyed, and puts me out for a long time!

Im slow to get things, have a processing delay. Change stresses me, i like familiarity, or i feel anxious, need things done in order or i feel 'out of sorts'

 

Being in groups is terrifying, i struggle to join in, and make eye contact. When i can just about manage eye contact, i wonder if im staring, suddenly it hits me 'am i staring' (i mean, how long is looking at someone before being classed as staring?!) when i can talk, i realise when its too late, that ive gone on too much, as people make excuse to leave, i never learn.

When in not at work, (im a carer, which has loads of things i struggle with) im lost, as the work routine is gone, i just drift around, no structure to the day, i try to do housework, but find that overwhelming:( wish i could be efficient and organised, always struggled

 

Anyway, think that's enough said, sorry for long post, i said i talk too much !

 

 

..

 

Hi Serenity and welcome :-)

 

I'm in a similar situation to you - I'm 32 and big changes in my life, namely starting a family, have made some of my traits more apparent, which in turn has made me consider the notion that I may be on the spectrum. I can identify with so much that people post here, so I'm becoming more and more convinced that I have got aspergers. I'm yet to take the big step and start seeking a diagnosis (I think I need to get my head around things a bit more which is starting to happen) but I think I will start going down that route, as I have so many unanswered questions.

 

I think I've adapted quite well to compensate for some of my traits - certain sensory issues aren't so much of a problem for me. Although I'm physically incapable of holiding more than one conversation at a time. I can identify with a number of your traits though. I also come across as shy (sometimes aloof at work), I'm very sensitive and very bad at taking criticism. The blushing thing I can totally understand. I used to blush a lot at school when the teacher asked me a question. A few of the kids in class picked up on it and used to comment on it, which triggered me to blush. They'd say "Go red! Go red! Go red!" which made me feel so small and I just wanted the ground to swallow me up. I never felt comfortable enough to tell anyone I was being bullied and I feel this was probably the lowest point in my whole life. To this day, they still don't know. In fact, this is the first time I've really shared it. I somehow got through all that, although I do still blush and if anyone comments on it, it brings all those feelings back.

 

On a slightly less serious note, I can fully identify with the supermarket thing too! I love cooking (it helps me to calm after a stressful day) and if the supermarket doesn't have an ingredient I need, I get VERY angry, particularly if I've been looking forward to cooking and eating a certain dinner and this stops me from doing so. I just keep thinking about it, over and over. I also regularly experience the eye contact / staring dilemma too.

 

Thanks for sharing - I hope, like me, you start getting some of the answers you're looking for :-)

 

Jimmy

[scumble]

Serenity, see if you can get referred for an assessment. It is better than churning over wondering if you are on the spectrum. You have a number of traits that suggest autism. I know very well the feeling of being lost when people converse in groups. It is just the delay in processing information. By the time you have worked out a relevant comment it is too late to throw it into the discourse...