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snibbug

Pulling my hair out :(

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We have some major issues with our little man. He's 8 years old, he has no official diagnosis yet as he was assessed 2 years ago and deemed too complex to diagnose. His paed has told us many times she is certain he is ASD and he has been medicated for ADHD alongside this. The problem being that he is in mainstream school right now, and although he is making academic progress the school are extremely worried about his social/emotional wellbeing right now. We are too, his thoughts are very dark, he self harms and he has been noticeably isolating himself from his peers. We have been having regular CAF meetings regarding his health as he has lot a large amount of weight causing alarm, he refuses to eat.

 

The latest meeting was yesterday where it transpired the teachers had told him to stop swinging on his chair as he may fall off and hurt himself to which he simply replied "good". When asked why that would be good he said " I like pain". He also said his sisters often hit him and when he tells mummy and daddy he is ignored (clearly not the case). They are growing more concerned that he won't join in at play time, he sits on the periphery just lost in his own thoughts.

 

His paed attended this CAF meeting and speaking to her after she said she wants to stop the dexamfetamine for his ADHD for a month to see if his appetite increases and his mood changes so she can establish if this is a mental health issue or anxiety or just a side effect.

 

My issue is that he is on SA+ and has been since he started primary school only to see his mental health deteriorate and he hates going to school. Could he be considered for a statement based on his social/emotional wellbeing alone or does he have to be struggling academically too? He's working towards national expectation so he isn't drastically behind...he needs support to help him cope with school, and engage in activities and even help with his care needs because he gets so upset on PE days. He struggles to dress and undress and he told me there's only 1 teacher for PE and she's always too busy with the other kids so he gets no help. He also has some continence issues at times and needs a lot of prompting to drink/eat etc.

 

I asked the head mistress what she thought about a statement a few months ago and she said there was no need. I strongly disagree and feel he needs 1-1 support for behavioural reasons...especially since he won't be medicated!

 

If anyone has any words of wisdom on this matter I would be truly grateful because I am at the point where I might just withdraw him from school before he really hurts himself.

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is your son depressed? sounds like your son had many challenging issues and what needs addressing in which order must be difficult to arrange for his own emotional state and well-being! i can empathise i on /off have had same issues as your son personally experiencing right now (self-harm - cutting ,ODing,) sounds like your son frustrated with not being able to verbally express how he feels inside sounds like he feels trapped and isolated in many ways! i recently just found out i also have ADHD too! which would make sense of other 'issues' which been ongoing and complex to say the least! with your son having issues dressing and undressing himself this due to organistation or physical side of this or both?

 

XKLX

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Hi shibbug, it sounds as if your lad does need extra help. He can get a statement based solely on social and emotional/behavioural needs, he doesn't have to be having problems academically. I would talk to the Head again and ask her to please apply for a statement on your son's behalf. I would then write personally to the LA backing up the school's request. It does sound as if the school are sufficiently concerned so I'm not sure why they feel it's not necessary to get a statement. At the very least, it would certainly help if he had a statement before looking into secondary school options, so it is a good idea to apply sooner rather than later and I would point this out to the Head.

 

Good luck with it.

 

~ Mel ~

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You can write to your local authority and ask for them to carry out a statutory assessement for a Statement of Special Educational Needs. You don't need anyone to support your request. You will be asked to give detailed background history and also what needs he has. The LA should ask for reports from all those involved, and you can ask the LA to speak to speech and language therapy, occupational therapy, any other NHS professional including CAHMS psychiatrist and Paediatrician or Clinical Psychology. I would advise you ask for a referal to Clinical Psychology for their advice to go into the Statement as CAHMS tends to be mainly about medication - but do ask them to also put in writing what his needs are and how they should be supported in school in terms of hours of support, therapy and staffing arrangements.

 

Also go onto www.ipsea.org.uk for specific advice on SEN. Also www.ace-ed.org.uk as they have some booklets such as "getting the Statement right", which will help you ensure the wording of the Statement [when you get to that stage] is worded in such a way that it is legally binding.

 

Get yourself a copy of the SEN Code of Practice - download it from the list of SEN publications at the top of this forum.

 

You need all his needs to be included in his Statement. They will include his anxiety and mental health issues. If he is not supported and is not in the right educational environment he could refuse school completely. My own son did. He also attempted suicide. He now has a further additional diagnosis of an Anxiety Disorder and also OCD.

 

The difficulties he is having are life long and are not going to go away. He needs the adults/professionals to stop pushing him to comply and conform, and for them to be providing him with the right level of support, the right kind of therapy and education and in the right setting. That may not be mainstream. If he is not coping in primary that is going to be impossible in secondary.

 

Look at the Priory Group of schools for children with Aspergers [as he seems capable academically].

 

My own son refused school and was out of school for most of primary year 5. He moved to an independent ASD specific school for primary year 6 and is still there.

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