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dekaspace

How to deal with people who dont understand my specific aspergers

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I go to a local gaming event and most of the guys there have been going there years so know each other, one guy there was nice to me for the first 2 times I went a year and a half ago and since then has always been in a bad mood around me and ignores me when I try and speak to him at event.

Last christmas I said to people on the message board that could I get a lift as I only lived 10 minutes walk from the event but had a heavy pc and monitor so I would have to make 3-4 journeys and each would be longer since I would have to keep stopping due to the weight and this guy and another started saying I was lazy and I only lived 10 minutes walk and how once they did a 20 minute walk from train station with their pc(which I dont believe as they have a big car or get lift from relatives each time) What annoyed me is I also offered a few quid towards petrol and it was a 1 way system so each of them had to drive past my house anyway to go home.

 

He and a few others there give me the impression of autism, the others just come across as trendy but the 2 main ones that give me the impression of aspergers are quite rude to me and when I argued with one and said I was autistic his argument was so was he and he doesnt act like I do

Because of this I am careful what I write but at current event I only asked if my pc was powerful enough to run some games and got a response from one guy saying I should just test it so I basically replied that I was going to test but just wanted to check and the one who always is in a bad mood (at least with me he is great with every other person in the group) came on and said they were not my tech support so I replied that I was autistic and again that because of that I like to double check for peace of mind and was accused of just claiming I was autistic to save face, one guy did "apologise" but later said he had nothing to apologise for and the one that is always in a bad mood said he did nothing wrong(despite accusing me of being lazy many times in past for no reason)

After being quiet for a few days it flared up again so all I said was I did not take it personally but wished people understood autism more and a newbie came on who has only been to one group before and said that the guys were right and I was just using autism as a excuse for not bothering to check.

Sorry for long post I just get really upset when people misunderstand me and make assumptions then act like I am the one in the wrong and dont think about my mental health

Edited by matzoball
edited at posters request

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Hi Dekaspace,

 

I know how you feel. Sometimes I feel that everyone is against me, and I don’t deserve it. Sorry you’re feeling hurt. It will pass.

 

I too found out that my colleagues council employees who’re working with the general public on daily bases have prejudiced and didn't approve/interested when I discloses my condition. They might think I use it to get some credits for something I don’t deserve. Moreover there’re plenty of fliers about Asperger’s Syndrome at my workplace, but I think no one bothers reading it.

 

I found a good piece of advice about a discloser on the National Autistic Society's website. You might find it useful too.

 

http://www.autism.org.uk/

 

 

 

Take care :)

 

 

 

Edited by Tanya52

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Hi Dekaspace

Your story sounds very familiar, and I know how you feel, as I’m constantly being misunderstood or upsetting people without intending to! This is probably the ‘blind leading the blind’ therefore, but from what I've learnt from my own mistakes, I would advise you to make a big effort to have some friendly banter with the guys. Show them that you actually do value them as people and like them. I've found that even people I think I have nothing in common with at first can turn out to be really amazing when I get to know them. Hopefully, if you put in the effort at winning their friendship, they will be happy to offer a lift etc. Hope you don't let the situation get you down anyway. Onwards and upwards!

Gx

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