Never done this before....

[JuRo4]

Hi, I am completely new to chat rooms/forums etc so forgive me if I am posting in the wrong place!

 

My 22 year old daughter has Asperger's. Unlike a lot of people she was diagnosed very early, whilst she was still in nursery, and consequently got a lot of support all through her school years. After school she did a college course for special needs pupils which didn't finish until she was 19. Since then though things have been more difficult.....

 

I am currently struggling with the Job Centre Official who doesn't really seem to understand the difficulties. My daughter is totally dependent on me and the family in general to organise her. The Job Centre do no realise the degree of support she needs to get through the day and are pushing her to find more voluntary work. She is currently on ESA in the Work Related Group with a further assessment pending sometime in the New Year. I didn't appeal the decision to put her in the Work Related Group last time but if the result is the same maybe I should. Does anyone know if appeals are successful ?

 

In my ignorance I did think the Job centre would be able to find her some supported work but they have been hopeless. They tell me we should not disclose her condition on her CV but it is vital that any employer should be aware and understanding. I don't know how this can be achieved if they don't know the difficulties. My daughter would never in a million years be successful at an interview if the company did not know in advance about her very poor communication skills

 

Sorry, I know I am rambling but the new year is always difficult because the problems never go away.

 

I am seriously considering taking her off all benefits because of the strain but she would then be effectively outside of the system and off everyone's radar. I worry so much about what will happen to her when I am not here.....

 

There must be others in my situation. I know other people have much worse problems but sometimes it is so hard to deal with disabilities that are not immediately obvious.

 

Thanks for listening.

[oxgirl]

Hi JuRo4, and welcome.

 

I am in exactly the same position as yourself. My son is 20 and left a college course in November. We are in the process of applying for ESA, which is very stressful in itself, as you know. It is forcing him to face up to his problems, which he finds very difficult. He does acknowledge that he isn't ready for work but doesn't want to see his problems printed on paper.

 

There is no way he would either cope with or succeed at an interview. He isn't ready to work full-time at all and is currently volunteering for a few hours a week in a charity shop. I am very fearful about the future, as I can see you are too, it is terrifying. Like your daughter, my son is totally dependent on me and his father and, although he is able in some ways, just doesn't have the communication or social skills to be able to function out there in the world at the moment.

 

There is little on offer, it seems. I don't know where you are based, but it could be that there are some schemes locally to help your daughter develop the skills she will need to find work, although this sounds very easy and obviously is the total opposite! We are on the waiting list for a pilot scheme that finds placements for young people with A/S. They stay at each placement (unpaid mind you!) for five weeks to see how they get on and if they like it, and then try something else until they have gained enough experience/confidence to help them. They then help find permanent work for them. It all sounds good on paper, but I wonder if the reality will be as good.

 

Have you tried Prospects? They have workshops where people go along twice a week to work in groups on interview skills/CV writing and stuff like that? We met with them but my lad wasn't ready to cope at the time so we are slowing down and will try it when he is ready. Would she be up to that do you think?

 

I don't agree that she should not disclose her A/S to employers. I am with you, I think employers need to know of difficulties. There are many employers who actively seek people with disabilities and will always offer interviews to those with disabilities if they meet the job criteria, so at least they would have a chance. I got my lad to apply for a job at a new Sainsbury's that was being built in our town. He didn't want to disclose his A/S and, although he did get an interview, they said he didn't have the skills he needed (to pack shelves?!). I do believe that if he had disclosed his A/S they would have made more allowances for him and would have offered him a position.

 

Good luck. I feel the same as you, the road seems never-ending. It feels worse now our son has left education. Before then, the 'future' seemed a long way away, but now the future is here and it seems to stretch ahead and we worry that little will change.

 

~ Mel ~

[JuRo4]

Thanks for your reply Mel.

 

I am glad you agree regarding disclosing the A/S to employers. I was beginning to think I was the only one who thought this to be important. To be fair to Job Centre Staff, the very wide range of abilities of people on the spectrum probably doesn't fit easily with the tick box culture they work within. Obviously those with less of a problem with communication may well feel that they would prefer not to disclose but really, for my daughter this is not an option. I would have thought it was obvious to our disability officer that My daughter wouldn't even be able to get to the Job Centre without me but apparently not. He keeps on about "going outside your comfort zone" which I think just about says it all ( to those of us who know anything about ASD in any case).

 

Anyway, just wanted to say thanks. By the way the reply in French is nothing to do with me. I know I said in my first post I was new to this and I don't want you to think it was anything I did !

 

 

Julie

[Special_talent123]

Can't read that, I'm afraid, seems to be in French?!

 

~ Mel ~

 

thats because it is spam. i reported it my computer translated what it said.

[positive_about]

Hi, welcome to the forum

 

I would suggest arranging a meeting with the Disability Employment Adviser at your local jobcenter and see what support they can offer, and there are schemes like Work Choice and Access to Work that might help - the DEA should be able to help with referral to those.

 

Also, see if any local charities offer employment support services (for autism if possible) and talk to them.

 

Its worth trying all the options.