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Rainbows

14 Year Old

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Hello.

 

My son don't like going out, or talking to people, he has no friends and has lots and lots of things he doe's different to other 14 year olds, Is you son the same. ;)

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My son stopped going to mainstream school 2 years ago. He 'closed down' and hardly left the house. He now has a place at a specialist Asperger Centre and is starting a very slow transition. He likes the computer which he built and has no friends. He found the transition to high school so hard. He is now diagnosed with Anxiety (as if we didn't know he had this).

 

Everything is small steps, trying to improve his self esteem and trust. My son is selectively mute and keeps his face covered by his hoodie when meeting anyone even in the house.

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Hi

Thank you for reply it is nice to have some one to talk to.

 

I sometimes feel like i am bad parent for not making him try to do things, But on the occasions i have done this it has made things a million times worse,

He hates leaving the house and if i pop out he is on my mobile saying he needs me to come back,

 

He has just started to be schooled at home but it is taking a while for him to get started as he will not talk to the teacher and on the one time he did she had to sit on the stairs with him and talk because he wouldn't come in the other room.. I do get really worried about pushing him as changing his routine leads to such high anxiety that he sometimes harms himself. (This only happens when things get really bad)

but i feel so bad as a parent he love playing world at war and his interests are countries and leaders and the universe, My son also will go for days without talking and he hates eating (he will only eat the same things when he does eat) he removes every item in the toilet before he will go and he will only shower once a week and i have to stand outside the door when he is in there .

 

Is it just me am i doing something wrong i don't pamper to his needs (like say if you do this i will get you something) in fact i do the opposite and stop him playing on his computer if he is to bad but then that upsets the whole house he will walk around in circles for ages when he gets stressed.

 

I feel like his problems get worse as he is getting older ;(

Edited by Rainbows

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It is very difficult. Has your son seen an occupational therapist to identify sensory differences. My son has a restricted diet. I live by the mantra that there is no such thing as bad food, just some are better than others. My son does change what he eats overtime. I have a friend who's sons diet is so restricted he has anaemia and they were talking about giving him a blood transfusion.

 

It's good the tutor is willing to go the extra mile to try and teach your son. Working with his interests may help. I have changed the environment at home to help my sons sensory needs.

 

I think adolescence is a difficult time with so many changes happening.

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Morning Snowdon,

 

Its not so much of what he is eaten that causes him to act different its the fact that he only ever sticks to the same thing, Ever since early school years he has only ever had a ham sandwich in his 14 years that is all he has ever tasted, Its hair cut day today so its going to be a long day ahead!

He has only ever been to the same hairdressers so they are very good with him.

 

His tutor is lovely with him and she is very understanding and for that i am very lucky, (Altho i had to fight for it for years) and it has only just happened in the last few months if he had been home schooled from a early age i am sure he would be much further ahead than he is with school work, altho he only really gets fixated on certain topics which he will then talk your ears of with, which to my 16 year old daughter can be quite a headache lol.

 

I know it is much harder for them and i really shouldn't complain because i wouldn't want him any other way to still get lots of cuddles of a 14 year old boy is something i think most parents would love but wouldn't get ;)

 

I think it is just my age and i worry more as i get older altho my older 2 children are such good kids and tell me they will always look after him you do worry but i understand them because if i have had a sibling with learning difficulties i would never have left them none of my family talk to me so i find that quite hard at times as i don't have any friends anymore they just seemed to fade away, I don't blame them to be honest because going out with them is hard when i have to leave and come back my older 2 are very good but my 16 year old is sitting A levels and is always up to eyeballs with homework all the time so i don't like to put extra on her and my 24 year old has just moved out in her first flat so the excitement of having friends around every night is still strong.

 

I am sorry to rumble on hun its just nice to have someone talk back to me for a change, Have a nice day ;)

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