Lyra Report post Posted April 24, 2014 Hi, my name is Lisa please can any one offer advise / support. I'm in turmoil I'll try to keep this brief but it's complicated. Tomorrow my youngest son is 16 it should be a happy day ,but it's going to be stressful and exhausting. he has just had another melt down involving his anger against himself. He is extremely frustrated and angry most of the time ( he is getting help once a week for anger management ) He is not in school at present as he was severely bullied over many years . he is a danger to himself and others right now. he was in mainstream school which in hind sight was not for him at all . he was not supported enough by the education system.(that's another story) During his out burst he makes a lot of noise,shouting and slamming things , his older brother 18 complains , arguing with us to get him to be quiet. He has no empathy even though he regularly has melt downs of his own. He is in full time collage but still struggles with everyday social situations Neither have any friends any more as over the years they have become isolated and very low confidence. We have tried many times with various sporting activity ,and last year they were helped to start to do the Dof E and managed to go on an expedition ! Since then neither will do any sports or volunteering, refusing as they feel they will be picked on or made to feel inferior in some way. My older son thinks his brother is lazy and regularly calls him stupid and swears at him ( which inflames the situation) I'm on a list for social services but they haven been for the next stage of assessment yet . We walk on egg shells most of the time as the younger one tried to strangle me about a month ago thats why social services finally got involved . My husband wants one of them out as he says he can't go on like this any more . We have no family support all relative are elderly or work full time even if help is offered very often they pull out at the last minute which again does not help .(this has happened again over the Easter break.) We are paying for family mediation ,which is helping but it's no quick fix and the boys don't have much patients. We pay privately as I've been waiting for 2 years only to be shunted from one health professional to another each saying we are not the right people for autism. I'm tired fed up and scared. Over the last 15 years I very had 2 nervous breakdowns but each time somehow I get through and carry on .I'm not sure I can carry on any more. Sorry couldn't keep it brief . Help anyone? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cathcart3303 Report post Posted April 25, 2014 I am sorry to hear about the difficult position you are in. Have you contacted the National Autistic Society Advice line or Disability Rights UK? I also found Contact a Family really helpful. It doesn't sound like social services are really involved. I would be writing to them asking for your sons to be assessed and you as a carer. I don't know how this works as they are older now. Assessments should be carried out in a timely manner if you request it. If you have a contact at social services I would be ringing them every day until they did something. Tell them you are in crisis. Otherwise ring the duty social worker. There is a service called #Dimensions which offers a buddy system to develop social skills and getting out and about. If your sons could get direct payments then this could fund this if SS can't offer anything. I hope you can get some independent advice and the support to help you all through this. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dm2010 Report post Posted May 24, 2014 I have a hunch that if the two boys were split up, both would benefit - a lot. Only then can improvements be a practical possibility. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
