DCLehnsherr Report post Posted May 4, 2014 Hi, My name is Dranz, and I guess the main reason i am here is because, after several years of having a title and little else, I decided it is time I came to understand that having AS is normal and isn't something I should hate! I was diagnosed in my last year of university after struggling against the social aspects and the fact i just couldn't manage to be like everyone else no matter how hard I forced it. One thing led to another and I ended up seeing a counsellor who knew about Aspergers from an affected family member, and she recommended I get checked out. In under a year I was given a piece of paper and a title and sent on my way. Several house moves, other things and a nice diagnosis of bipolar disorder later and we hit today where I remain just as confused about everything as I was at university! My main issues are definitely relationships (don't get it), friendships (everyone seems to move on while I stay in one place), and just being myself. I hate outside noise of pretty much any type, but music is the worst. I spent most of my spare time alone, though I do know I am better off when I am with my sisters. I have a job for which I am beyond thankful for, but am terrified of losing daily and my biggest obstacle is definitely balancing my loner inclinations with seeing another world and coming to terms with the fact it won't be mine. My biggest strengths and guiding lights are my adorable little sisters (both over 12 years younger). I am probably only alive because they were around and helped me feel some acceptance in the darkest hours, even now <3 I adore chickens, Japan (most recently in the form of a random obsession with Oda Nobunaga!) and dream to have a house in the middle of nowhere with no noise, no neighbours and a heck of alot of feathered friends who don't care that there are days when the mind just will not cooperate enough to listen to their idiocy. And despite this being a little ranty I really am a lovely person Pleased to meet you all. Dranz Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
allyd Report post Posted May 4, 2014 Welcome Dranz, I don`t get much time to take a look at new postings these days but so glad i`ve seen your intro. You sound like you have your priorities right ... a house in the middle of no-where, no neighbours, no noise and non humans as companions... sounds perfect... !! I had the same problems about social time, friendships- no you can`t force them and yes they can be hard work, BUT as you get older things will improve. I was absolutely clueless and went to boarding school literally hiding behind my twin sister. I spent any spare time in the girls toilet and just could not take part in group situations. I have been very much excluded in the social world by my own choice As you go through life and different situations just learn from what happens. You cannot force yourself to fit in with the world so don`t try to, it only results in you being confused and will affect your mental health even more. Once you can focus on what you want in life you will start to feel comfortable with where you are at and being `yourself` will come naturally. You will make friends with like minded people, they are out there ... you just have to find them. Yes we do like to rant but thats ok, take care allyd Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Akunin Report post Posted May 6, 2014 (edited) Welcome to the forum I haven't had my diagnosis yet, just assessments, so I guess I can't say much other than I have many of the same issues as you. Socialising has always been the main one for me. When I younger I would speak my mind and not tip-toe around subjects that other children would and it caused a lot of falling outs with friends, though I never really understood what upset them. I also find I can easily clash with people due my interests, I am very strong minded in that sense and am often perceived as a 'geek' or 'nerd' not that it bothers me at all, I would rather be a person with a thirst for knowledge and interests than another mindless drone! A house in the middle of nowhere, surrounded with nothing but open space and my pets has always been a dream of mine. I could easily live happily in my own little world then. Ahh, Oda Nobunaga!! Do you watch Anime? There has been a lot about him (or in one Anime 'her') just recently. Nice to meet you Dranz and hope to see you around Edited May 6, 2014 by Tsukimi Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
positive_about Report post Posted May 6, 2014 Hi Dranz, with Asperger's it can be really painful because you are so close to being 'normal' but never really able to reach it. Its liberating when you realise you don't need to be 'normal', you just need to focus on being yourself - and being good to yourself. I've just recently being diagnosed and its come as a relief, even though it was suspected for some time and I've had time to get used to the idea. I still have a lot of hurt from the past to heal from, most of it related to my Asperger traits - and hopefully the diagnosis will help me to let go of all that, and accept myself for who I really am. Yeah, would defo love a solitary house in the countryside and be away from people and urban noises. I was raised in a village, so prefer the quiet life - towns and cities overwhelm me. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
trekster Report post Posted May 13, 2014 Hello and welcome to the forum. Really pleased you are able to see your aspergers as a neutral part of you :-) Really pleased you get on well with your sisters, i have a good relationship with my younger sister and brother. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
