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libby:)

Making friends at university

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I know i've got a while yet, but i'm going through the process of deciding what course I want to do at university- when I go back to college next next September i'll need to start applying for university (if that's what I want to do). Apologies in advance, because this post is a few paragraphs long (but it shouldn't be too bad, hopefully).

 

Basically, i'm questioning whether it would be a good idea, since I seem to be pretty bad at making friends, but I really want to further my education and I currently have a specific course in mind. However, I don't want to go without consistent contact with people for 3/4 yrs, and even the thought of going to the open day makes me feel anxious.

 

If i'm put in a room with people I don't know, and none of my existing friends are there, i'll have no way to break the ice/meet new friends, so I just sit there silently. Obviously, this isn't going to gain me any friends. I also have social anxiety and no conversation starters, so I don't really know what to do. Even if people approach me, the chances are that i'll be polite when answering, but not initiate any of the conversation myself and only answer things they ask me. This makes me seem really unapproachable and boring.

 

Also, when i'm in new situations, I usually like lots of time to be silent/read etc. and adjust, but my understanding is that at freshers' week you're supposed to make an impression and make the majority of your friends then. If we were in small groups this might be easier, but i'm guessing there will be a lot of people there.

 

I'm not exactly sure what happens on freshers' week (apparently there are societies ran by students and a lot of partying/drinking) but that's all I know about it, so it would be useful if someone could explain what happened to them. It'd be useful if people could describe the actual process/ procedures which take place in the first day- the thought of not knowing what will happen makes me very anxious, especially when I have no familiar people or surroundings. Another problem is that I hate partying- to be fair, I enjoyed a small house party that my friend threw. I had a couple of shots (nothing too crazy) and I really enjoyed it, because I was with people I knew well. :drunk: If you met me and saw me with my friends you'd probably not realise I had Aspergers, but when meeting new people I look really shy, timid and withdrawn since I have nothing to say.

 

Any advice or university experiences would be really helpful. Just wondering, can you take a friend with you as well as your parents on open days? I'm not sure if that's a common thing (and idk if my friend would want to go on a long car journey anyway), but it would probably make me a lot more approachable/ less nervous. Thanks!

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