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dekaspace

Upset again over online harassment

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I was on another forum and wanting advice on housing problem, I mentioned jokingly to me that the neighbour was out a lot as they had a free car and people replied with me being judgemental of benefit claimaints which I partly expected but replied for reasons why(on the sick but out of the house as much as 12 hours a day, goes on a lot of holidays" but even then tried to keep it civil(I was joking but know it can be easily misunderstood)

 

After that it became a attack on me for being nasty about benefit claimants, judgemental, that the person could have family or friends giving them cash, may be working etc and each time I tried defending myself I was basically called nasty and vile! Then told I wasnt following "advice" to change my writing to remove the parts about my neighbour(which means I did nothing wrong but they think I did so I have to do what they say)

 

One person even said I lacked common sense because I didnt write what I did before asking the question (not understanding me being autistic but I never put I was because I know from past experience if I do that people assume I am giving a sob story or expecting sympathy) and then twisting each thing I say to whatever they want and basically anything I dont say they read into it saying I meant something else(because I didnt say what I meant) If I instead wrote what I meant first time I was told it was unimportant and changing the subject!!!!)

 

Just a little upset.

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chill mate.

 

we've all got social dysfunctions on here.

 

sometimes the conversation threads don't work out right :-(

 

we're all in the same boat?

 

don't be upset fella.

 

all the best.

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I know how you feel - but it pays to have a thick skin on most internet forums. Electronic communication is always tricky as you tend to abbreviate what you are trying to say, and without the non-verbal cues it is easy to misinterpret what people say - even if they do read the postings carefully (and many don't).

 

Best just to forget it - if you get annoyed they win.

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Funnily enough having it even worse today! I went on a message board somwhere aimed at a certain tv show and mentioned that they seemed to have too many etnhic people nowadays(I realised after I worded it wrong but didnt want to mention skin colour or individual races)

 

I tried explaining it felt they were shoved in and only there because of race and ended up currently a 3 and a half hour discussion with people calling me disgusing vile racist etc and each time I try to defend myself I get accused ot digging myself deeper, lying to cover my own back, or contradicting myself in any post.

 

That has mostly calmed down but one person seemed to take offense and mention how if a UK show has 80% white actors that is racist to ethnic minorities! so I had to show proof of why it was bad to show people when the cast ius mostly white!

 

Then someone came on and said I was a vile bully, racist, anti ethnic propaganda etc when all my reponses said I had zero problem with anyone regardless of race, gender etc just if they are token and I would rather see say a ethnic Scottish person than a white Londoner and somehow that was racist too!

 

It basically came an attack on how I was wrong and racist, some people calmed down and said they didnt agree with my views(implying in many ways I was still racist) but understood it was just a opinion or that I have had some sort of bad experience in the past, I did explain my autism and some said too that because of that they understood I wasnt that good at explaining things but that didnt justify my opnion etc.

 

Just a litte upsetting as I never meant to offend anyone and quite angry people were quick to attack me and even the ones who calmed down still assumed I was in the wrong! I dont think its racist to think theres token characters on tv(especially since I never said they shouldnt be on tv, and also mentioned there should be more but in the corrext context)

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i'm on your side mate for the moment.

 

i'll well used to people always misunderstanding me,

 

(although i will currently say i have not received that sort of treatment on this forum.. ever.. yet!

 

but i know what you mean.

 

people sometimes just get the wrong end of the stick.

 

i'm aspie, i always say the wrong thing (it's part of my condition)

 

i will read your posts properly and give you a fair reply.

 

all the best

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like dekaspace said,

 

it's all down to non clamenture isn't it.

 

plus, the internet is typically a place where people never say what they mean correctly.

 

i'm sorry to here some of your comments and "jokes" weren't received so well.

 

but if you know you didn't mean them offensively, then just put it down to digital misunderstands, chill out and start again?

 

if something you said, didn't come over right, adapt it?? try again?

 

all the best

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Firstly, on the web, people are not "face to face", and so any "filter" they might use in everyday face to face contact is not used when posting things, or responding to posts.

 

Some subjects will always get a very strong response ie. politics, race, religion, sexual orientation etc.

 

You could try posting as a question rather than a Statement ie. "Do you think that some TV programmes use ethnic characters to be politically correct, rather than give them well formed and interesting story lines?" That might get a different response.

 

I have had the same response to something I posted about a TV programme I was watching. There was one black participant. I put on-line that I thought the "coloured" person was the best. And I was denounced for being racist for using the word "coloured". Yes I realised afterwards that that is not a PC word. But it is the word used by my generation growing up, and I simply could not remember which was more PC ie. coloured or black. In my youth using the word Black was racist.

 

Anyway got a lot of abuse, eventhough I pointed out that I had said I thought he was the best one and should win! And eventhough I pointed out that I was in a mixed marriage! But NOOO, everyone jumped on the bandwagon. So I jumped off. Not worth the hassle. I know what I meant.

 

And remember there are also alot of Trolls out there that just love to get vile on-line.

 

Don't take it personally.

Edited by Sally44

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Firstly, on the web, people are not "face to face", and so any "filter" they might use in everyday face to face contact is not used when posting things, or responding to posts.

 

Some subjects will always get a very strong response ie. politics, race, religion, sexual orientation etc.

 

You could try posting as a question rather than a Statement ie. "Do you think that some TV programmes use ethnic characters to be politically correct, rather than give them well formed and interesting story lines?" That might get a different response.

 

I have had the same response to something I posted about a TV programme I was watching. There was one black participant. I put on-line that I thought the "coloured" person was the best. And I was denounced for being racist for using the word "coloured". Yes I realised afterwards that that is not a PC word. But it is the word used by my generation growing up, and I simply could not remember which was more PC ie. coloured or black. In my youth using the word Black was racist.

 

Anyway got a lot of abuse, eventhough I pointed out that I had said I thought he was the best one and should win! And eventhough I pointed out that I was in a mixed marriage! But NOOO, everyone jumped on the bandwagon. So I jumped off. Not worth the hassle. I know what I meant.

 

And remember there are also alot of Trolls out there that just love to get vile on-line.

 

Don't take it personally.

 

I assume that to be that people are so used to excuses being made that if you stand up and say something to defend yourself then you are just lying i.e I remember a few years ago talking about problems with Polish neighbours(and recently, seems to be a common thin with them but I dont mean that nastily I just mean I have a lot of bad experiences with them) I mentioned my grandfather was Polish and people basically rolled eyes and went "sure, you are part Polish"

 

In this case people accused me of bringing up my disabilities as a lie to change opinion i.e I was making it up.

 

The funny thing was I got upset as I am sensitive but I as called insensitive because I was being racist, and even some people who admitted that perhaps I didnt mean to be offensive I still was therefore I should feel guilty and apologise and one person even said I had racism built into me my society and family so it was unintentional ignorance and I should reevalute my thoughts!.

 

To these people you cant win, if you treat any non caucasian people different you are called racist as you are picking people out due to race, but if you leave them out of something you are doing the same!

 

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There is the argument that everyone is racist. And I think that probably is true. I have lived in other countries. People have been 'racist' to me. I have seen racism between other cultures. It is inherent. But here in the UK we tend to think that it is just between white UK citizens and any other person or any other culture, colour, country. It isn't. It is everywhere. I remember a friend of mine [white british], was dating a Canadian Italian and he was making very racist jokes about black people! So it is kind of built into everyone to be that way. BUT alot of the things that people get accused of as being racist are not racist at all. It has got to the stage where you cannot talk about certain subjects without being accused of being racist.

 

Quite recently there was the case of the Paedophile ring that was basically Asian men grooming white girls. And although everyone knew about it, no-one was prepared to tackle it because of fears of a racist backlash. That in itself is a preconceived racist idea in itself. It is assuming that all Asian people are going to be offended by a police force that exposes asian paedophiles. Surely they would be happy for them to be exposed.

 

BUT that is a whole new explosive topic.

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I so know what you mean sally.

 

I'm completely inept, when it comes to political correctness.

 

if there is a way to say something wrong I will say it.

 

I'm constantly having to ask what is currently "in fashion" political correctness-wise and even then I forget, and still say the wrong thing.

 

the internet is a mine field of those who love picking up on the slightest mistake.

 

even *I* have things that I think are not correctly to say or do in this day-and-age,

 

...but I try to be adaptive, and take a person who's made a potentially shocking (to me) comment in context.

 

i.e. if they are generally pleasant and thoughtful, and make a little slip, I don't think about it,

 

and just think "they made a slip there... without meaning any offence. it happens!"

 

the world has gone a bit pc mad these days.

 

& like you say, you can say 99 things perfectly, but make a tiny slip without intention on the internet, and it often leads to a cascade of abuse hurled at one.

 

I've never noticed anyone do that on this web site though :-)

 

five minutes after I type something here, I can go all paranoid, and worry that the next time I log on I'll get told off,

 

but everyone here seems pretty cool, and reads things in context, which is nice.

 

long live this web site!

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There is the argument that everyone is racist. And I think that probably is true. ... It is inherent. But here in the UK we tend to think that it is just between white UK citizens and any other person or any other culture, colour, country. It isn't. It is everywhere. ...So it is kind of built into everyone to be that way. BUT a lot of the things that people get accused of as being racist are not racist at all. It has got to the stage where you cannot talk about certain subjects without being accused of being racist.

I agree Sally.

 

Dotmars, you said: "I'm completely inept, when it comes to political correctness".

 

I can be sometimes, but usually it's just that I have no time for people who are offended by the slightest things - especially when no harm was intended. As an Aspie I've had to live with insults and criticism all my life. I've no time for fads of any kind, and political correctness has become a fad, i.e. the rules are constantly in a state of change. Being a creature of habit, I can't adapt to these changes. Like you Sally, I was brought up to believe that 'coloured' was the polite term, rather than black, and now ironically the phrase, 'people of colour' has become PC. Madness!

 

So, this is me too: "I'm constantly having to ask what is currently "in fashion" political correctness-wise and even then I forget"

 

I don't identify with any 'race' but I do with European culture in general, I don't feel particularly 'English', even less 'British'. There's much about cultures that I'm very outspoken about, e.g. I disagree with FGM and MGM, kosher & halal slaughter, all slaughter, burkas, subjugation of women, capital punishment, party politics, organised religion, a punitive mentality, bullfighting, hunting, 'dumbing down', political correctness, the mainstream media, Americanisation, violent films, and much more. - all I hope for sound rational and humane reasons. I've thought about these issues in depth and am prepared to change in the light of new learning. They're not merely 'gut feelings'.

 

I also disagree with the misuse of the clinical term 'paedophilia' by the mass media and politicians. There is no evidence that those awful Asians were paedophiles at all - the only correct definition being sexual attraction towards prepubertal children. Those Asian gangs would have happily preyed on adult women too, for machismo and the subjugation of females is an inherent part of their (?sub)culture, but also so is an obsession with virginity and so is racism - so they chose the most vulnerable, white, young females. These cultural factors are what motivated them - hardly paedophilia. Criminologists know this, but the mass media media and politicians have agendas to serve and one of those is political correctness.

 

Ironically, PC is the very ideology that enabled those gangs to get away with what they did for so long. There has long been an unspoken tradition for the authorities not to 'interfere' in matters that may cause embarrassment within 'the community' - a euphemism for the Islamic community, but also for the ultra-orthodox Jewish communities (Haredim, Hasidim). They have their own internal ways of dealing with problems within their communities, and even have their own courts. Child abuse, etc. within these communities is covered up and rarely reported - just as it was within the Catholic Church. In many cases their religious practices themselves amount to child abuse. It may seem taboo or racist to talk about these things, but I see truth and protecting the vulnerable as more important.

Edited by Mihaela

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it's one of those nights :-)


every thread I read i feel I'm not qualified to add to it.


everyone else is so much more skilled at word craft than me.


when ever i type long posts I end up dribbling on too much, & loose the point of what i was trying to say and disappear up my own behind lol!


you lot are so cool.


you all type long replies, and they all mean something :-)


but I'll try to chip in...


re: political correctness etc.


I think i get what you are saying mihaela,


it's just all intangible stuff.


i.e. person or group A) suddenly changes from feeling one thing to feeling another (usually under the influence of group C)


us as person B) are instantly expected to know they have changed? if we don't they are "offended"


in reality that isn't going to happen (in my experience)


the way i try to work is,


...by action rather than words.


i might accidentally call a certain ethnic group by something the majority has decided "on the day" isn't cool,


but when it comes down to counting up the chips,


I'm probably there doing far more for said groups than "the majority are"


the majority, all play with words in a constant circular game that means nothing, just so they "appear" cool.


(they are merely looking for attention rather than wanting to help things? a bit like what some B- list pop stars appearing on charity shows on TV look like to me?)


what matters is how we act.


actions speak better than a thousand words :-)


all the best

Edited by dotmarsdotcom

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Yes! A lovely reply Dotmars - and very true. "actions speak better than a thousand words". In the end it's how we live our lives, not what we say that matters. I've always stuck up for the underdogs, the oppressed and marginalised who've done no wrong yet are treated by the ignorant mob as if they have. I think it's because, as an Aspie who was relentlessly bullied, I just can't help it. I have a strong sense of justice, get very angry at injustice and have loads of empathy (although I'm not always very good at expressing it!).

And forget about being good with words. We all have our strengths and weaknesses in our different ways. I just happen to be a writer - it's almost an addiction - but try getting me to speak clearly for any period in front of others, I get tongue-tied, embarrassed, lose my words, put things badly, etc. - useless, unless I'm reading a script. :D

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One site that trolls people is expertlaw.com and that is because when somebody goes there to get legal support, rather than do that, the self-righteous users that frequent the message boards usually mock the situation the OP has explained and they do this a lot for driving offenders, or those affected by online harassment. I think these sort of sites should be closed down, but anybody can just decide to become a "webmaster" these days and nobody can get anything done about it, thus it's a joke!

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I know what you mean gold MD.

 

I find what you are saying about the "expert law" web site, to be the same for most web sites these days.

 

I would say on any web site (with the exception of this one, which I've found always to be well mannered :-)

 

...if ever there is a "comments" section on a subject,

 

most of the time usually within about 10 replies, what started as a completely normal thread,

 

will descend into a flame war,

 

usually for no reason at all :-(

 

it's a real shame.

 

1) because it's distressing to read.

 

2) because the people who are typing the quality significant & relevant comments, will after they've been flamed or trolled, stop contributing to the thread, and they are the ones that folks want to read the most :-(

 

I agree with sally44 that certain subjects are very lightly to command provocative replies (i.e. sex, religion. etc.)

 

...but I also observe flaming and trolling on subjects that are completely innocuous, where I can see no reason why the flamer/ troller got upset.

 

I encountered this once myself :-(

 

the situation that happened to me was that...

 

that when windows 8 first came out, there was a lot of mixed feelings about it.

 

and I noticed a thread on the BBC web site, discussing the subject.

 

it was an afternoon when I didn't really have anything to do,

 

and I happened at the time to be one of the early up takers of the new operating system,

 

so I spend 3 hours typing the best, fairest evaluation I could do.

 

I wanted to help people. give them the facts, dispel the myths about the product, and confirm it's bad points. etc.

 

my post was completely altruistic, and I just wanted to share with folks, and do my best to give them the best information I could.

 

I wish I hadn't bothered.

 

I received a cascade of offensive abusive replies, so cruel I was genuinely upset for.. at least 10 minutes. lol.

 

I even showed my article to an editor of a IT web site I know, because I was worried I might of (being Asperger's) said something wrong without realising,

 

but he said my post was informed, factual, to the point and covered all the bases.

 

there was no reason at all for it to be flamed or trolled and yet it was.

 

welcome to the internet I guess :-(

 

all the best.

Edited by dotmarsdotcom

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Interesting it just happened to me again on the same website but so far its just 1 person calling me vile and disgusting and to get my facts right, and another which mentioned that what I said was wrong and reasons why.

 

My crime? They were talking about a potential new law in which pregnant mothers can get arrested, I mentioned how a certain celebrity who has had about 4 children so far has drunk almost daily with every child and her first child was severely disabled and I remember THINKING that the constant partying affected the baby, what I meant was AT THE TIME I WAS THINKING.

 

People assumed that I have no knowledge of disabilities and just judged this person for no reason(despite their attitude over the years just backing up the assumptions) so then judged me on what I DIDNT say since the few lines I did say can be interpreted in any way.

 

This seems to be a huge problem really, write down in detail your feelings so it cant be misinterpreted and people refuse to read it as its too long, write simple replies and people judge you as they misinterpret it.

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I don't know this story, as I'm usually completely out of touch with the news, but I do know that there's much evidence to prove that heavy drinking in pregnancy causes disabilities in the baby by permanently damaging their DNA. You'll always find an idiot like that. Just ignore them. They're not worth the time of day. They want to upset you, and if they succeed it makes them happy. Don't let them succeed.

 

http://www.encare.info/en-GB/riskyenvironments/alcohol/fas/

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I must be the odd one out here. This apart from "Ocado" are the only sites I visit and make any comment?

I could give the excuse that my hands are 'stuffed', but simple truth as an ex computer whats-it, I really have little interest, I do not follow current affairs and do not even have a television. I rather watch the sky than a 'tv'.

 

As for problems with deformed offspring, age and condition of the parents are most important, and not being closely related. Neither parent should consume any intoxicants or chemical substances for some time before planning a pregnancy, after after. There is a body of evidence that all sorts of common pain killers are also problematical, remember "Thalidomide". What damage are common pain killers doing?

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hi again folks,

 

I recall reading about that potential new law myself a few days ago.

 

I found it to be a bit of an "eye brow raiser" indeed for me.

 

I found myself swinging from one side of the argument, then to the other re: whether it should be made illegal.

 

in the end I found it impossible to decide.

 

i think we all in principal, know it's wrong.

 

It's just plain common sense, that if the baby is connected to the mother via the umbilical cord, then babie's going to get a bit of everything mum-to-be is having,

 

and it also seems to me to be common sense, that ciggies and alcohol aren't going to do baby any good.

 

...the trouble I had with the "Making it a new law" thing though,

 

was that I've seen time and time again historically, how such things can be the start of the slippery slope.

 

if we passed a law about this matter, what would the next thing be?

 

there are plenty of things, that we all do every day, that would risk a developing baby who we might be hosting.

 

& laws like these always start off small, and then escalate.

 

next time, there will be a law saying mothers-to-be can't drive or fly in case they have an accident. etc.

 

before you know it, mothers-to-be would be shut in a room and not allowed to do anything.

 

Ii know it sounds ridiculous, but historically things like this have happened,

 

(and maybe indeed to a certain extent are happening now in certain cultures,

 

and perhaps not even when a woman is pregnant.)

 

I think I would like to rely on the common sense of women to decide for their selves (even though some women do get it wrong :-(

 

woman are usually sensibly protective of their children, unborn or not, and I'd like to trust them to make the right calls, which most of them do :-)

 

it's either that or we'd start down the path to female enslavement. not a good place to go.

 

re: you getting flamed again waterboatman

 

sorry to hear about that.

 

as we've previously discussed, it would be a pleasant world indeed,

 

if when folks disagree they could just rationally express their own opinions, and leave it like that.

 

hope your experience hasn't put you off the internet.

 

I find that for every time i get an unpleasant experience on the internet, I usually get quite a few nice ones to make up for it.

 

stick with it buddy.

 

all the best

Edited by dotmarsdotcom

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Forgive me, the terms flamed and troll are confusing.

 

You came to the conclusion I was talking only about the mother, many problems are almost entirely due to the father. An old interest of mine was statistics and genetics. Poor quality genetic matter from the father really causes almost two/thirds of all deformities. The placenta does a very good job of protecting the infant from whatever is in the mothers body. A little alcohol does no harm to either, stress does more damage. Pain killers are a double edged sword, its a matter of wether the substance can cross over the placenta.

I am aware that most births are entirely 'accidental', and many other problems are after birth, poor environment causing problems of its own, our brains have not completed development, language and sensory data help complete the build. Genetic problems from the parents can be offset by good environment, there is a lot of data on that, not hard to find.

 

I know my blunt approach causes some offence, none is intended. Its a matter of wether the correspondent can accept and understand that.

 

Bullying is almost a state of mind, I will give an example.

I was bullied at school for a while by a girl who was somewhat larger than me, puberty set in for me, I am a boy being chased over furniture in a classroom by a girl, it became very enjoyable, I laughed and obviously enjoyed the last time. She never came near me after that. I am not small, 1.9m 6 foot 3 inches, puberty made me more aggressive. Though I have never harmed anyone on purpose, the being able too is the must. Though its the small ones one has to be carful of, they are not bluffing. I am the great big soft wolfhound they are the terrier.

 

Anonymous user-names are an absolute must, no photograph, and not too precise location. Someone turning up at my door unannounced is just ignored, I am a bit deaf, somewhat disabled, I have to be up and waiting near the door. I am still big, pain makes one even more aggressive, free board and lodging for the rest of my life is no deterrent.

 

One can not be bullied if one, cares not about it. I am blunt. I have had an interpreter, really! A director translated pure technical into cobol programmer for a confused average human being.

 

The written word is the best form of communication, it gives one time to think, and re-edit. Whats more text written by someone long age is still accessible!

 

Those immortal words, when in a hole stop digging. I most likely would go straight through the earths core.

 

Enough, if do not want to be bullied online, do not take it too seriously, go and have a cup of tea.

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I am sorry,

 

I can neither agree with your conclusion of what you thought I meant,

 

or your diagnosis of the effects of alcohol on an unborn infant.

 

but isn't it wonderful that we can disagree pleasantly :-) & rationally.

 

yah!

 

I'll look forward to your thoughts on other subjects.

 

all the best,

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I would like to add,

 

that I am not dismissing you or being rude or offensive to you in anyway way.

 

of that you have my word.

 

i value uniqueness and differences in all people.

 

i like the way you fire in stuff out of the blue, that is unexpected. i will confess i am a little knackered. it's 7am.. I've not slept as usual, so,

 

re: all your extra stuff you threw in to the conversational pot, i'll get back to you another day on that?

 

all the best.

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As someone who has experienced harassment last night I empathise

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On the subject of alcohol, I strongly believe that criminalising it will make matters worse. Just look at what the 'war on drugs' has achieved thus-far - absolutely nothing positive. Instead, there is reportedly more heroin coming into the country than ever, people-smuggling isn't reducing, addiction isn't falling and the black market in drugs is bigger than ever. All criminalising a substance does is creates a black market for that substance. To obtain said substance, one must go through unsavoury means, for example smuggling people into the country with promise of a new life, then forcing them to remain in grow-houses. Really the 'war on drugs' is nothing more than a weak attempt to make the government appear in control. They act as if seizing a few thousand pounds worth of cocaine is a massive victory for them, but it makes such a tiny different to the billions that are being made by organised crime firms turning addiction into a business.

 

Criminalising alcohol would have all the same problems if not more, considering the huge amount of people already addicted to the stuff. Homemade spirits can very easily become highly toxic and even explosive as well - criminalising alcohol will lead people to brew their own, thus increasing the risk of creating toxic spirits and thus increasing the mortality rate.

 

On top of all that, making it illegal to put something in your own body is absurd anyway. If we had better education beginning from an early age on the effects of alcohol and stop glamourising it the way we British do, then I believe we would see a substantial fall in alcohol-related harm

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I commented on this topic somewhere. What was very clear is that people really didn't understand the proposed law at all!It was in no way suggesting pregnant woman cannot drink alcohol and was in no way suggesting it would be against the law.

 

The reason it came about was because a woman was currently facing charges for causing her childs many disabilities. The child was born with FAS and they listed all the complications this brings to the child. The woman would have been drinking extremely excessively for this to have happened. This law is proposing that whenever a child is born with FAS and has all these disabilities as a result the mother should be prosecuted and compensation given to the child(although I cannot see that happening if the mum is an alcoholic.) They mentioned there were around 300 (off the top of my head!)other cases that could go through the legal system if this one case went "well."(for lack of a better word!)

 

I completely agree with it! I have children that have a disability through no fault of my own, I did not smoke, with my eldest who actually doesn't have a disability I did have the odd shandy(very weak) as he was born abroad over summer it was extremely hot-30 degrees C+. I didn't always follow guidelines regarding eating well but overall I did take care of myself. So why do these mums deliberately harm their unborn child? The spin off for the debate was regarding abortion and again I argued would it not be better for an alcoholic to abort then to go full term and have a child taken into care, unlikely to be adopted due to the massive health problems and eventually end up in an adult care setting. Imagine the huge costs on social and NHS services!

 

Everything in moderation as they say. There is plenty of help available to expectant mums who have addictions, and in this particular case the woman was given many opportunities to stop her drinking, I also believe it was the second child born with FAS. So of course such cases should be punished. Those women who drink occasionally whilst pregnant will not suffer as a result of the law.

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^I think Trekster's decision was probably more down to you saying things like vegetarian promoters should be hanged, saying 'enough' when Mihaela stated her opinion and general hostility. I wouldn't class them doing their job as a moderator to be bullying.

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The topic was getting out of hand which is why I locked it. I have been a moderator on here for a number of years.

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I shall in that case rely on trekster's experience and wisdom in this forum, and say no more.

 

it defiantly is a sensitive subject.

 

all the best

Edited by dotmarsdotcom

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Had an interesting discussion yesterday online too, someone was asking for advice on part time study and claiming benefits and seeing I have been to uni twice whilst on benefits, had parents go part time on benefits, had their friends go part time on benefits etc I have done the research into the subject, someone who wasnt the original poster said I was totally incorrect and the DWP says this(and we all know how contradictory the DWP are) the basics of the argument was they were claiming that they did not understand my replies therefore that meant I was wrong, that I had no structure to my replies therefore I was wrong, providing no evidence what they said was correct but told me since I said my response was right I had to prove I was right they do not need to prove I am wrong.

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If you're talking purely about the internet, then these things do happen. It's not nice to be turned upon by people (it's happened to me multiple times), you've just got to keep your cool and try to avoid those kinds of people on the internet. Sometimes, these people aren't even offended, they just do it for the sake of it.

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Sometimes, these people aren't even offended, they just do it for the sake of it.

I'd go as far as to say usually. I've been an admin and moderator of several forums so I've had quite a bit of experience over this. Trolls very often have narcissistic or other personality disorders. Internet forums, articles that invite comments, social media, etc. all provide convenient anonymous opportunities for these types to find easy pickings - to feed their insatiable narcissistic supply. More & more research is being carried on the psychology of trolling/flaming.

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Yes, there certainly are a lot of crazy people online. You can block and ban, but it can feel like it's in vain (too many to filter out).

 

Lately, all I really do is go on the laptop. That's because my life totally sucks from having zero confidence, especially after all I went through before. I still get nowhere with the agency that caused the affairs with my ex-aides and it is still an issue for me getting back to that flat I was in because I need an advocate. In fact, I rang up the boss a few days ago and I was met with such arrogance. I was talking, then I'd be silent and then he would be silent. It was annoying getting "uh-huh" every response. You know? He just doesn't care.

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