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smadams11

sons strangled brother-advice? (Aspergers)

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hi, looking for a little advice.
my 8 year old son has Aspergers and his behaviour goes up and down-months of perfection then months of disobeying rules, lying and hurting his siblings. he has just started another phase of less attractive behaviour and this morning strangled his 6 year old brother because a game they were playing wasn't going exactly as he wanted it to. i have banished him to his room for the rest of the day without his christmas toys.
i wonder if i should switch him and his sisters rooms so he can't harm his brother anymore. this would be an upheaval for his sister (3) who loves her own girly room and it would cause me a lot of grief as the mess and noise my 2 youngest make together is horrendous. my other worry is that my 8 year old is very introverted and plays alone all day (monopoly, chess etc) and reads all night (harry potter at the minute), then late at night he stims for hours so he basically doesn't play with his siblings very often at all. giving him his own room would make this worse, surely? and that is obviously not healthy. i'm really torn over what to do here. any suggestions are greatly appreciated. thank you.

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I'm sorry to hear this. I'd switch the rooms, for preventing harm must come before anything else, but I'd reassure your daughter that it would only be a temporary measure. In the meantime you'd need to find a long-term solution. I'd like to help you more with this one, but I've no experience of this kind of thing and feel out of my depth. Can't anyone else here give advice?

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Hi smadams11, sorry you're having a tough time with your son. It sounds like he isn't getting much sleep if he is up late in the night. Does this keep his brother awake also if they are currently sharing a room? Have you thought of medication to help him sleep? It could be that he does need his own space away from his siblings. I don't think it is necessarily a good thing to try to enforce them to play together, but I do understand that you don't want him to become more isolated also. It is good that he received a harsh punishment after hurting his brother, was he sorry afterwards and did he apologise? Personally, I would try to make sure that your eldest is allowed to have his time alone that he obviously needs, whilst at the same time trying to include him as much as possible. My son is an only child so he did not have to deal with boisterous younger siblings, but I'm not sure how he would have coped if he had have had to, it probably would have driven him crazy!

 

Hope your Xmas is going more peacefully now.

 

~ Mel ~

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