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kay74

Hi

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Have been a member for a number of years now, but am returning after along time away from the forum.

Have 11 year old twin girls with asd, and looking to reconnect with parents going through similar things on their journey.

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Hi :) welcome back!

I'm not a parent myself but I went through the same journey as your girls so I can try and help if possible

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Hello, Kay,

 

Welcome back! I've been tracing inherited Asperger's within my family and have identified 7-8 people, all undiagnosed and all on my mother's side. Amongst these are several cousins who I knew well throughout their childhoods - including twins who I'm 100% sure have AS. I'd be very interested to learn more about twins on the spectrum.

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Hi, it has recently been mentioned by a teacher of my 12yr old son if I'd thought about getting him checked to see if he's on the spectrum, he does have some traits but although I haven't taken that any further at the moment it has come to light that my husband probably has aspergers. He recognises it in himself & will probably go ahead to get a diagnosis sometime soon. With regard to my son I'm curious as to how much of his behaviour/traits could be learned behaviour from his Dad or if there is a definite genetic link that would make it more probable to be aspergers? Any thoughts or views would be appreciated...

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With regard to my son I'm curious as to how much of his behaviour/traits could be learned behaviour from his Dad or if there is a definite genetic link that would make it more probable to be aspergers? Any thoughts or views would be appreciated...

I'm curious about that too, as I can see some aspects of it in my Dad (who died years ago), my much older half brother, and my Dads younger brother (also long dead). My other half brother, who I reckon is NT if the others did have it, has always thought the family was a bit odd, and used to refer to himself as the black sheep of it! I'd say the characteristics are quite mild, like I think mine are, apart from my uncle, who was a socially inept nerd (he repaired old TVs and radios in those days, but I'm sure would be a real computer nerd if he was alive now).

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AS is caused either by inheritance, or by a mutated gene during pregnancy. I know a 12yo girl who is highly intelligent and gifted. She worked out by herself that she probably has AS, and has arranged to see her GP tomorrow, with very little parental support. I'm convinced she is on the spectrum, and see her thinking almost as a mirror of my own. The similarities are uncanny. I was speaking to an autism specialist the other day who confirmed my suspicions that all gifted children have autism to a degree, but due to their very giftedness they're able to disguise it in many ways. Looking back, it's so clear that I did the same, but it certainly takes its toll, and adult life and 'responsibilities' can cause no end of difficulties. With me, its side-effects were severe: years of chronic depression, several suicidal phases, bad meltdowns, panic attacks, anxiety, regression, C-PTSD and OCD. Our 'problems' are only seen as such in the eyes of the NT world. We certainly don't see them as problems, for logically and objectively they are not. We can't rewire our brains at will just to please others. All we ask for is to be understood and accepted for who we are. This is why a diagnosis is so important - regardless of our IQ.

Edited by Mihaela

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I'm really beginning to see the benefits in getting a diagnosis for my husband & possibly our son too, although I have questioned this a lot over the last month. From a personal level it is important to have affirmation so friends/family believe it. Sounds a bit selfish but I have come up against things like 'all men are like that & he does have a stressful job etc' & it's really important for me to have understanding from others in order to help support me. The other side of it is I'm hoping there will be some sort of counselling for my husband because all though he is in total agreement that he has Aspergers he is very difficult to communicate with & his high intelligence sometimes adds to that. With regard to my son I'm still getting my head around it, but I'd really hope that with a diagnosis he would get help with socialising & building his stratagies to cope I'm some aspects differently to my husbands & before he reaches adulthood & all that that throws at you!

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