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smadams11

worried about son hitting puberty

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hello, i just have a quick question.

my son is 8, has aspergers and rarely shows signs of violence to others or himself. he has never (NEVER) had anything even resembling a tantrum. however, he does struggle with frustration and that can be fairly intense at times. i have heard lots of stories of autistic/aspergers children whose violence escalates when they hit puberty. but can they 'develop' these anger issues in puberty? if my son has never had anger issues, i would assume that he won't be a violent teenager. am i wrong? thank you

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I'm not absolutely sure about this. Meltdowns are ways of coping with our high sensitivity to stress, so the aim of parents should always be leave us be, and to identify the cause of the stress and eliminate it - if at all possible. They take various forms which range from physical violence to catatonia. I remember when I hit puberty they involved a lot of non-physical anger, rolling up into a ball, uncontrollable sobbing, running away from unbearable situations (panic attacks), catatonia and severe regression. They've continued unchanged throughout my life. Also OCD, depression, severe tics and lack of appetite can become very prominent in my life during stressful situations. All my stress has been due to the NT world either being unable or unwilling to understand me, and this often took the form of bullying, victimisation, insults and exploitation - often by individuals or organisations who should have known better. This treatment has caused me to lose my respect for 'authority' and the NT world in general - for it actively encourages so many undesirable traits - greed, ruthlessness, power, vanity, hypocrisy, irrationality, etc...

So, in answer to your question, I was a placid, somewhat withdrawn, well-behaved child, but it was only the stresses of school life (and later adult life) that caused my meltdowns. I am still emotionally the same as I was at 12ish. This pattern isn't at all uncommon among Aspies.

Edited by Mihaela

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