a few problems

[hsmum]

Hello,

 

It has been a little time since I wrote on this forum. Basically, the situation at home has become quite complicated and I would really appreciate some guidance about the best way to respond.

 

My eldest son (nearly 16) has AS and developed some mental health difficulties last year which resulted in a 7 month inpatient admission to a CAMHS unit. He was discharged in October and offered a place at a special school as a day pupil, with a view to transitioning to residential placement over time. However, the integration to school has been slow and complicated by my son's continuing mental health difficulties and now, after a series of incidents of self harm, readmission to the CAMHS unit seems likely. Meanwhile, my younger son (nearly 14) has been refusing school and is diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder. He has been referred to a PRU, but refuses to attend that, so home tuition (provided by the LA) looks like the next step.

 

Work (and commuting) commitments take me away from home up to 14 hours a day so my husband looks after the boys. My husband has AS himself and finds it hard to cope with the children's increasingly challenging behaviour. Children's Social Care are involved with our family and my husband receives some support from a Family Intervention Team worker.

 

 

My problem is that I simply don't know what to do. A huge part of me wants to take extended leave from work, jump into the situation with a very hands on approach and see if my presence and support can make a difference. Yet I wonder how effective this would be. We have so much intervention; the boys' issues are primarily mental health matters and jeopardising our only source of income may only add to the pressure we are under as a family.

 

I would really appreciate any advice, particularly from people who may have experienced something similar to this.

[KezT]

I left a well paid full time job and took a job in a school, which was school hours only about 5 years ago. I am absolutely positive it was the right choice (I was very dubious when I did it, but was really at my wits end about what to do - thought I'd come home and fine either husband or son or both dead on the floor one day!).

 

I can't say its the right thing for everyone, but our life is substantially better now - even though I miss having holidays and new cars lol. I was not sure that we could survive on 1/3 income, but we can:) (tax credits help!) It was still a struggle while my son was school refusing, but because I had the time to give him, I was able to move things forward for him and the whole family.