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joybed

Not sure what to do.

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Hi I have a 10 year old with asperger syndrome and ADHD. The last year has been difficult. It all started when he was taken off his concerta as it was causing severe appetite suppression. He was severely underweight and suffering from failure to thrive so he was commenced on equasym 20mg. Since then he has become increasingly withdrawn, aggressive and has started self harming. Head banging, punching himself in the head etc. he is achieving very little at school he can only concentrate for a maximum of 20 minutes and then needs time out. He finds social relationships difficult and is the victim of bullying. School have suggested a specialist placement but there is no where to meet his needs in our area and his dad wants him to stay in mainstream school. Tonight I collected him from school he had had to go to after school club as I was working. An incident had occurred where he had lashed out at someone he was worried he would get in trouble. His sister tried to help by saying he had to control his temper he totally lost it and lashed out at her too so she hit him back (she is probably on the spectrum too). He became very upset and said his life wasn't worth living she regrettably said her life would be better if he was dead. When we came home something instinctively told me to go to his room when I did he was attempting to jump out of his window. He said he thought our life would be better without him. I have been through this with his older brother (also has ASD) but at an older age. I don't know what to do. I will call his consultant tomorrow but I am afraid to leave him alone. Any advice, I am on nights tomorrow night and really scared to leave him as his dad isn't as patient with him.

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My heart goes out to you coping with 3 spectrum children.

 

When my depression was severe, i was self harming and wished i was dead 1 thing saved me. Very low dose risperdal, it's an anti psychotic and i can only manage the orodispersive (melt in the mouth) tablets. This was before i realised i had been glutened by some of supplements.

 

Does he have a statement of special educational needs? Could he go back on concerta at a lower dose? Or on a slow release ADHD medication? Gluten and dairy fuzzles my brain up and i cant concentrate or think clearly, strawberries and tonic water clear my head (not neccesarily together) but i cant have strawberries at night as they caused nightmares.

 

Would he be willing to change his lifestyle completly and cut out all gluten and dairy in his diet and non food items? Some kids especially the ADHD ones react also to colours and dyes in foods basically the nasty artifically created additives.

 

There is a great book i highly recommend written by a parent of a few spectrum lads "multicoloured mayhem" by jacqui jackson.

 

Also i think theres a NAS parents support group in bedfordshire would any of them recommend a different more understanding school for your son?

Is it possible your husband is on the spectrum and projecting those feelings onto his son? My mum does this sometimes. They might also recommend a respite service so someone else can look after your child(ren) when you need a break.

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So sorry to hear what you and your family are going through. I'm very concerned that your son is being bullied. I was bullied daily at school for years. I reacted by escaping into my special interests, or hiding away. Your son will be suffering unnecessary extra stress due to this, so no wonder he lashes out and feels depressed! What with the change in medication, the two factors could be waekening his coping strategies. Rather than address the symptoms by giving him anti-depressants or anti-psychotics, the causes of his stress need to be identified and eliminated.

 

What are the school doing about this? There's no excuse for bullying, and I've found that many schools try to blame the victim, especially when they're dealing with a group of bullies rather than just one. The attitude they often take is that the victim must be in wrong - being in the minority.

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If he's better able to explain the bullying though with meds they could be taking him more seriously. Also if hes able to concentrate better the bullying may reduce if thats why hes being picked on.

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