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Behaviour question

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Hi I just wondered whether this is an aspergers thing or something anyone has come across. My daughter is 7 and is always forgetting things, forgetting to do things, late, wandering about not doing as she needs to be doing.... not saying things that she should maybe.. Then for a short burst she'll suddenly turn into robot angel child.. asking if she can do anything, getting dressed and brushing her hair, being overly polite.... BUT it never lasts long and she goes back to 'normal' !! I always tell her it's like she tries so hard for short bursts and goes over the top so that it all stops abruptly when she can no longer manage it. Can anyone help with this?!

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This does sound very similar to how I was as a child and how I can be now also. I am not sure about the robot angel child I can't remember being like that but I suppose that isn't something hing I would likely remember myself.

To me it does sound like autistic traits and there are many associated symptoms with this and of course there are other conditions that are very similar to Aspergers so I don't think you can get a definitive answer without a diagnosis.

Personally I wouldn't tell her she goes over the top, do you know if she understands what that actually means, I wouldn't have known and only learned a lot statements and their meanings over many years.

Even know I can't follow conversation or get confused when non factual words are used, does she understand other instructions similar to going over the top and respond and understand or is her not doing as she's supposed to be doing because she doesn't understand what is actually expected of her.

I would suggest getting advice from the National Autistic Society initially or sea Ching the Internet foe information to give yourself a better understanding then go to the doctors.

Never go without having an understanding as some doctors don't understand enough either it may sound silly but experience shows they do not unfortunately.

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Yes having problems accessing your memory can be an asperger thing. Sounds like she runs out of steam because 'being good' is hard work having to think all the time what she needs to do to keep others happy. This can be related to hormones, diet, hunger or sleep patterns.

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Yes having problems accessing your memory can be an asperger thing. Sounds like she runs out of steam because 'being good' is hard work having to think all the time what she needs to do to keep others happy. This can be related to hormones, diet, hunger or sleep patterns.

 

I can also relate to that but rather than being good it's trying to do things in ways that do not appear to upset NTs change my natural way of living and it's not as if it causes any harm its just people don't like it in their opinion.

You get so tired and stressed trying to be constantly different to your nature in the end I don't have the energy to do it any more probably something everybody on this site can relate to.

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I'd completely go along with the other replies. It's all so very familiar to me and makes perfect sense. Decades later I've still barely changed in that way. It seems likely your daughter is on the spectrum. Being a girl, her traits are likely to differ in certain significant ways to 'classic' Asperger's - where the traits are more noticeable. Please be aware of this if you feel a diagnosis is needed. Many girls on the spectrum are misdiagnosed or go undiagnosed, which causes all kinds of problems in later life.

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Thank you all so much for your replies, all very helpful. We have been to the doctor and are currently waiting for more forms to fill out! The doctor asked a few questions which included things about social skills, food, going to sleep, repetitive things and lots of other bits which we tried to explain briefly but is impossible! There are a million things. I have done lots of role play type things which I think help a little if she remembers. We are sure she is on the spectrum and look after her as if she is,understanding her point of view and emotions as much as we can. This robotic thing happens occasionally and I wasn't sure whether that was something we should mention at the next meeting. It does seem strange. How does she suddenly know lots of things that she should do... I don't know why she'll suddenly do it as half an hour later it all goes out the window! A lovely half hour though. ;-)

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Thank you all so much for your replies, all very helpful. We have been to the doctor and are currently waiting for more forms to fill out! The doctor asked a few questions which included things about social skills, food, going to sleep, repetitive things and lots of other bits which we tried to explain briefly but is impossible! There are a million things. I have done lots of role play type things which I think help a little if she remembers. We are sure she is on the spectrum and look after her as if she is,understanding her point of view and emotions as much as we can. This robotic thing happens occasionally and I wasn't sure whether that was something we should mention at the next meeting. It does seem strange. How does she suddenly know lots of things that she should do... I don't know why she'll suddenly do it as half an hour later it all goes out the window! A lovely half hour though. ;-)

It would be worth informing them about as even the smallest details may have an effect on their diagnosis, every person with autism is different and it may actually have a reason whatever it is or it could be simply one of her traits that are there just because they are.

The biggest advantage she has in life is the support of and understanding of a careing family and with that the best of outcomes are a real possibility as she will have all the support and care she needs to achieve her full potential.

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Yes having problems accessing your memory can be an asperger thing. Sounds like she runs out of steam because 'being good' is hard work having to think all the time what she needs to do to keep others happy. This can be related to hormones, diet, hunger or sleep patterns.

 

yes I agree, I am told my symptoms including memory issues are made worse when im tired and hungry

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The biggest advantage she has in life is the support of and understanding of a careing family and with that the best of outcomes are a real possibility as she will have all the support and care she needs to achieve her full potential.

 

This I imagine is paramount. a caring and understanding family would have helped me greatly. if you do nothing else for your child, allow them the space to be themselves and never put limits on their interests or forget to notice the good sides autism can bring. selflessness, logic, lateral thinking etc

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This I imagine is paramount. a caring and understanding family would have helped me greatly. if you do nothing else for your child, allow them the space to be themselves and never put limits on their interests or forget to notice the good sides autism can bring. selflessness, logic, lateral thinking etc

That is the best advice anyone can have to help their child if Autistic, restricting them and trying to get them to be something they can't will lead to a lot more problematic circumstances they need to develop within their own specific abilitys and find what suits them in this world.

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We've had our suspicions a very long time but as our daughter was young we kept putting off the doctors in case she just 'grew out' of many things. She's 7 now, 8 in a few weeks, and against the school kids there are differences. If we were like some other families.... I think my daughter would struggle a lot more. We know she's always late and takes ages to do things... so we work around that so she still feels she's getting a wriggle on.. but it's still very slowly to us..but won't make us late.. If that makes sense! Many other things. We are looking into a diagnosis as the one thing that's hard is if she doesn't have anything and is just hard work. ..!!! I don't personally believe there's nothing though.. I've had to speak to teachers and headteachers many times as they want kids to be like robots and mine doesn't fit in like that..! I've had to help give them ideas and ways to help her but I've never said to change her and I always spout a big bunch of plus sides as soon as they try to sound negative! My daughter is different but to me she's fab. I think I'd like a diagnosis so I can help her more, get more support for her and stop worrying when in public because I can't quite explain the behaviour to people who things she's just playing up.....

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There is absolutely nothing wrong with your daughter she is a unique individual and like you said schools want children to be robotic dull and obedient taking away personality individual characteristics and the ability to express free will and anything that does not fit with the excepted normality in their opinion.

The desire to criticise is stronger than praise the entire system is geared to creating clones rather than encouraging specific personalities to develope.

From what I have read here and my own experience of education rather than embracing autistic children and developing their potential it's a constant struggle for parents to get their children what they need to give them the best education possible.

I would say that being autistic makes it more difficult for the education system to create what they see as a model student which I think is one of the advantages of being on the spectrum.

There are issues to overcome and life can be a challenge at times but having your own mind own thoughts that can't be easily changed to my perspective is the best beginning in life a child can have along with the support of a loving family.

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The expression 'there is absolutely nothing wrong' can be misinterpreted as being 'she's not autistic' which i doubt you thought Livelife?

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I see what you mean! No worries though, I also feel there is 'nothing wrong' in terms of who she is. I wouldn't want to change her, just learn more about how to look after her. :-)

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I see what you mean! No worries though, I also feel there is 'nothing wrong' in terms of who she is. I wouldn't want to change her, just learn more about how to look after her. :-)

That's what I meant in my post that there was nothing wrong with your daughter in who she was as an individual and doesn't need to change or be anything other than what she is.

Anybody who would think that an Autistic child needs to be different from what they are are very wrong, Autistic children can be very loving.

I had the opportunity to go to a special school and would challenge anybody not to realise how special they are.

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