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Troy ward

15 Year old and have aspergers adhd and autism looking for a gf and need help

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Hi im a 15 year old boy looking for a gf because as I have aspergers adhd and autism its hard for me to get one so I was wondering if theres anyone in this site who could help me who is single and lives in norfolk ir if they know anyone who would like to meet up etc thanks

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Are there any aspergers or adhd youth groups in your area?

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Welcome to this site. Good luck with your search for romance. I'm sure you'll find the right lady one day. You're still so young, so don't be too hard on yourself. I never thought I'd find love and gave up on the idea. Until I met my partner at the age of 29 and it's amazing. Enjoy you and your young life and try not to get too hung up on meeting someone. That right person will come along. Good luck x

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Hi Troy, welcome to the forum.

 

The pressures of social acceptability are far greater for your age group than they were for ours, and being told to hang on and not rush is not the answer you were hoping for. I think most of the people on the site have experienced similar circumstances as yourself and many have got there in the end, although maybe a little slower that their hormonal teenage self had envisaged. I am to be included in that but its necessarily a discussion for public viewing. Keep an eye out for a PM.

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I was your age 45 years ago, when the world was rather different, and it's only in the last few years I've had even the slightest awareness I may have Aspergers. If I'd known when I was your age maybe I could have worked out, or been taught, some way to get round my communication problem. My Mum's favourite bit of advice was "never mind, things will work out" which is the biggest load of &*%$&£$% anyone has said to me, as things haven't "worked out" yet. I've no idea how a 15 year old could go about it nowadays, and appear to have had no awareness of the subject when I was your age, but in more recent years when I have met women, I wish I'd known what I think I know now, and could have told them that I have a problem reading signals, and probably sending them too. I suppose most would have freaked out at that, but maybe there would have been at least one who would have suggested we work on it, and maybe something would have happened.

 

If I'd known a long time ago, I think I would have rehearsed some rather lighthearted phrases that I could use in a safe way that could have been laughed off by anyone who wasn't interested, but could open a door to anyone who was. Some years ago I met someone at an event, and we got on quite well, but I didn't think there was any romantic interest. As we were leaving, she gave me a hug, and asked why a nice bloke like me was single. My joky comment, that wasn't intended as any sort of chatup line was "I'm available!", and when I got home there was an e-mail from her saying she'd like us to meet up. We had a bit of a thing for a while, but it wasn't really the right time, although we stayed friends for some years.

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