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natashacharlton

confused

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my son is on the autistic spectrum. i cant type fast enough for my brain but bear with me. i just realised i have asbergers and in one second my whole entire existance make sense for the first time ever. this is amazing. confusing. and a million other things im feeling but i thought best speak to my mum coz she is very grounding. so she said cant this wait im on holiday. very caring....my mum has asbergers n my dad was a genius. both parents were. mum was dysliexic, dad was the opposite and so i was reading the newspaper by the time i was three. both mum and dad had been abused collectivly in evey way possible. so my childhood was full of extream situations. so i thought omfg life i have had enough of you you can go away now i want to stop living. and then i found asbergers and read this womans story and this was me and my life made sense in one second. and this huge boulder was lifted from me and i am going to be okay because now i can compute and deal with it. its got me this far. omg i thought i was bad because i was clever. i get hit a lot because people cant win an arguement they get frutrated. sorry i have #depression and #anxiety they have been my best friends. but ultimeatly i feel so good and warm. i see in tempretures and colours my brain likes them. i can deal with colours. every letter and colour toether.sorry im going off topic and my speeling suffers. thank you for listening i needed to tell someone. i have spoken to the gp and my childrens senco and my sons educational pyscologist. i never did followup the genitics appointment......

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i just realised i have asbergers and in one second my whole entire existance make sense for the first time ever. this is amazing. confusing. and a million other things im feeling

 

That's exactly how I felt too! ...and I've read similar things since so many times, especially written by women, who can so easily be missed for diagnosis.

 

Letters & colours? Do you have synaesthesia? I have it a little, and it goes with Asperger's.

 

Anyway, welcome to the forum :)

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thank you for replying. it feels like the opposite of going crazy. just accepting myself is a great step forward. i think finding a local group of similar people is going to be a positive step. i am slightly worried that now i am aware of my condition im almost hyper aware. anyway i feel postivie i am able to understand myself to help myself get the help we need to have the most amazing lives, my children and i. Synaesthesia. yes its beautiful. omg i thought i had a tumor or something....that even would have been less painfull than my ex boyfriend (lolnolol) i have struggled so much thank goodness for computers at least i can always reach out.

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