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Mike Stevens

What to do? Teenage boy 18 with Asp. Odd Contact with Mother

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Hi. I am new here. 
I have but one issue to discuss. 
My fiance's 19 year old son (5 ft 10, 200 pounds) is a great guy. I am "the" father figure in his life as well as good friend. 
He is a riot. Honour roll into University. Great sense of humour. He has most of the typical symptoms of Aspergers. 

What I would like some feeback on is this. He regularly crawls on his mom when she is lounging and kisses her on the face, sometimes on the lips. 
He also regularly comes down in his housecoat and hugs his mom kind of in the way a couple does. Kind of. He regularly kisses her arms and hands. 
He constantly nuzzles his face in her neck and kisses it. He often calls to his mom in the morning and asks his mom to come and give him a hug before he gets out of bed. He does so in a baby voice. I should have said this before. When he does these things he does it in a baby like voice. 

His mom thinks it's okay and hey, maybe it is.  He has never been out on a date. Has no interest in doing so. I will say this. If he ever brought a date home  and his date watched him crawl all over his mom I guarantee you his date would run for the hills. (Again I am not saying it is right or wrong). 
Recently his uncle visited and he said to his uncle, " wanna see how I snuggle with mom?" He then crawled on his uncle the way he crawls on his mom.
Afterwards his uncle pulled me aside and expressed (in his words) "how creeped out he was by it".

Is this a case of "not "getting" the social cues? As in he has no idea that right or wrong, this sort of behaviour is not cool or kosher as it were?
I understand there are two issue here. One being the teenagers behaviour the other being his mom allowing it. 

I could have gone on with more examples but most of you probably get the gist of what I am asking. 

Any input would be much appreciated. Thank you in advance. 




 

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A few final notes and I am saying this because in a few discussions with some friends, some of them jumped all over me. I heard everything from why are you so mean to it's none of your business to why do you care.

The answer is this. I seek out the truth, information, listen to what others say because  the more I know about such things the more I will (hopefully) be able to help. 
I am saying there is nothing mean spirited intended in my post here. 

Before, (due to my research) we learned the boy has Aspergers,  I often wondered, why is he so selfish, why is he rude, why does he never shut up about history, why when people in the room with him tune out his rambling does he not get the signal to shut up. And from reading and talking. Now I know. 

Ciao Ciao

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First of all autstics are not selfie or rude (those are negative stereotypes about autism) and yes he does miss social cues and signals. The situation with his mum sounds like a typical example. unless he dates a girl into those sorts of things he is going to be stuck, but teaching him it's not appropriate is going to be difficult unless you get the mum on side. Are you in the US? It's just the services we know about are UK only based.

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