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Help! 23 year old sister wasting her life?!

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My younger sister was diagnosed with ASD  when she was 22. It was a lengthy process but when she was finally diagnosed it was such a relief as we felt she would now receive extra help/support. 

She is now approaching 24 but nothing has changed. To be honest, in my opinion she has got worse. She locks herself in her room all day and night. She only goes out to walk the dog or if my mum forces her to go with her somewhere. She has no friends , no job and is no longer in any form of education. 

Background: she completed her A levels at 18 and went to uni. She was then asked to leave as she did not attend lectures. She then found an office job but was dismissed due to lack of communication/not fulfilling her duties. She lives with my mum and their dog. My mum works full time as a teacher and I feel that she has given up too. 

I am 26 and live not too far away with my wife and 2 kids. She does not talk to me so it is very difficult to try and give her help. She attended some Aspergers support sessions with other people with her condition which I think helped but when they finished it was back to square 1. 

She likes to write, draw and take photos but I feel she would really struggle to find a job in these areas. 

Is there anything that I can do? I have read about The Prince’s Trust courses on here which sound ideal, but she would never agree to attend one. It’s like banging my head against a brick wall! She doesn’t seem to understand that she can’t just sponge off my mum forever. My mum gets down about the situation and is more like her carer than her mother right now. 

Any suggestions would be very much appreciated! We have tried suggesting voluntary work, joining a gym, careers advice etc. She just clams up and doesn’t speak to us. We just want her to be happy and live her life. She has already wasted half her twenties sat in her bedroom and watching TV. 



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Hello Steve,


I just thought I would drop you a line.  I posted on this forum about my 16 year old son who is in the same position as your sister.  He only goes out to the gym, has no education, no training and no friends.  The Prince's Trust has a programme starting in our area in February but he blatantly refuses to go.

His problem is anxiety and I would not be surprised in anxiety lay at the root of your sister's behaviour.  


Try to see if those AS support groups will run again or encourage your mum to set one up (although as a mother myself, I know how difficult it can be to work and  try to support someone with reclusive behaviour).  Would your sister consider self employment or careers advice?


I am just clutching at straws - but I really feel for you.


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