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Mandy333

Third party to advise my 16 year old Aspie Son?

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Hi,  My son is 16 and was home educated for a number of years,   which just about saved his sanity, but now he has got into a routine of staying in bed late and working on his computer projects all day.  I worry about him not getting enough exercise, socialising, and making his way in the world.

I thought that it would all get better when he could go to the local College and study for his chosen subject, and meeting like minded people etc But he started to make excuses and on the day of the college interview he refused to get out of the car, it ended up me driving him home and he was near to having a panic attack.

He said he wanted work rather than go to college, but he has no idea what he wants to do, and I have no idea how to help him.   He doesn't have a lot of confidence thanks to his primary school, and I don't want him to spend his days in his bedroom.  Are there any people or organisations that would help him, maybe talk through and guide him about his choices?

I don't mind paying for a specialist career advisor or life coach.

Any help appreciated B)

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Can you book an appointment with him with an asd aware counseller to come to the house and help him? My relative used to do that for me when I was stuck in a duty due to my unrecognised secondary mental health problems. He sounds scared of the world so hides in his safer place of home due to the experiences at primary school. 

Has he had any support at secondary school that really benefited him? 

There's a lot of choices regarding what to do and not to when leaving school. It can get overwhelming at times for asd kids. I used to sit around all day in the same clothes and go to bed in them because I couldn't decide what to wear so I stayed in what I was wearing. 

You mention his computer projects? Is there anyway that can be turned into a career for him? Could he work from home? Either doing his own business or testing computer games and writing up reviews? 

Also teenager type of problems can last longer in autistics (that's my theory anyway) when I was 23 I woke up one day to find the anxiety had gone and had some years of stability. Nothing in particular happened I think my hormones settled down. 

Another possibility is that he has a chronic pain condition he's unable to express apart from the depression type behaviours you are seeing. It is very rare that when I'm in physical pain I say "ouch" I can get snappy and grumpy instead though. John clements mentioned in his book "people with autism behaving badly" (despite the title he is very understanding towards those of us on the spectrum). 

I realise this is a lot to think about and you want the best for your son. Hope you get some answers soon. 

For context I was dislocating every joint in my body except my back but was unable to express it, also have extreme muscle pain. I am a highly verbal autistic as well just couldn't say "this hurts like hell" like 'normies' can. 

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