Attacked twice in two days

[annie]

This will be long.........be warned.

 

My son (15 and AS) has always been a target for bullies. He's tall for his age plus he stands out in a crowd because of his Asperger's.

 

A while ago him and his friends were over a park skateboarding when a gang came up to them and started threatening them. One went to take a punch at Alex but he got in first. When I picked him up he told me at first that he'd done it skateboarding but told me the truth afterwards, saying that he didn't want to get into trouble. The result was a shattered knuckle in plaster for six weeks.

 

Last week he was on a bus and the boys were on there threatening him again. He was on his own, so he got off the bus and walked the rest of the way home about 2 miles). Luckily, they didn't get off the bus after him.

 

Two days ago, he went up to town to meet his friends, he noticed the gang again, but saw that a police van nearby (because of the bombings) so thought it safe to go pass the gang. As he went past them, they came up to him and threatened him again. One went to headbutt him, and he through a punch, then the rest of the gang joined in. Luckily, the police saw everything and broke it up. They took two gang members away.

 

I took Alex to hospital as soon as I was called. He's damaged the same hand again, badly bruised but this time nothing broken.

 

Jump forward to yesterday. Outline - Last year Alex was harrassed by some boys who live local to us, which resulted in 2 boys being charged. Long story, I wont repeat it all now, but I posted about it last year.

 

Another of the boys involved, came around our house and threatened us at the time and later turned up in Alex's school, in some of Alex's lessons. This, added to the lack of support of the school education-wise resulted in us taking Alex out of the school

 

Last night Alex went over the park with his brother and a friend. and was punched in the face by the boy for acting like he did at ***** ***** school

 

We didn't call the police because of the repercusions (the boy has got a violent family). I spoke to my police officer friend this morning who suggested that I contact the Community Police. They told me that they would get an officer to ring me to arrange a time to visit us as I said I wanted it to be discreet.

 

An hour later, a police car pulled up outside with a uniformed officer in it

 

The officer told me he was there when the gang set on Alex on Tuesday, which was helpful. I told him what happened last night and asked if the boys who intimidate people there can be kept an eye on.

 

He asked me to explain Asperger's to him. Then said that he would like Alex to meet him so that Alex would feel safe speaking to him if he was threatened or attacked again. He said that if Alex is attacked again we must call 999.......even after explaining that Alex wouldn't do that because it would make matters worse.

 

The officer told me that he does visit the park where Alex was punched last night and they are aware of the boys there but the police priorities are the town centre because of the bombings.

 

One gem that the officer did come out with was 'Can you get help for Alex to solve his Asperger's problems'. My reply was that Alex has been receiving help for years and his problems are not just going to be 'solved' .

 

 

Annie

XX

[oracle]

<'> <'> Annie <'> <'>

 

Why can't they just leave our kids alone? And why can't those that should understand actually understand? This has made me both angry and very sad . Our kids are such easy targets. I fully understand about making things worse I have lived next door to people who made our lives a living hell. Because the Police have no real powers nothing ever gets done to stop it happening again.

 

What is the answer here? I wish I knew

 

Carole

[elaine1]

Lord, the mind boggles dosent it. The police dont offer the bullies a cell for the night but they as k you to try and solve yr sons problems.

I think they are talking to the wrong families here!!!!!

 

what hope is there?

[smiley]

This subject makes me so angy.

 

My friends child is now 13. She has been moved from school to school because a certain group of children will not leave her alone (beating her up - throwing bricks etc). It began way back in junior school. The schools all failed to help, and wouldn't even admit it was bullying. Luckily the comp she's at now take it seriously and she has a guard with her at all times (the bullys find her - although they're at the other school). Her mum has been to the police - hopeless. She has complained and written letters to education authority etc - nothing has ever been done. They are now having to move house because although she's moved school, the girls live near, so whenever she goes out her front door, they start on her (and her mum). The M.P she wrote to asking for help didn't believe that could happen in our area, the quote was "i fail to see how this could become a problem in xxxxxx as it is a peaceful and quiet comunity"

She's a lovely kid (- has no difficulties/special needs). But because of all this she is now agoraphobic, on medication for depression and has begun to cut herself. She was a cheerful, happy and outgoing little girl - now she looks exhausted, far too thin and has constant panic attacks.

 

It makes me so cross for her and sad that this can happen.

[something_different]

(((hugs)))

 

why do people have to be like that?

[Suze]

I,m so sorry these stories are horrid it,s awful that kids and their families suffer in this way. <'> <'> big hugs Annie.

[annie]

<'> <'> Thank you <'> <'>

 

What a coincidence, I had our local council's news magazine through the letterbox earlier. There's a two page article about keeping our borough safe.

 

Fact file.........

 

There are seven safer neighbourhood teams of dedicated police officers and police community support officers.

 

The council funds the police's anti-social behaviour team (�175,000 per year) and has 14 parks and open spaces constables who enforce park byelaws and monitor anti-social behaviour in the borough's green spaces.

 

also......

 

Part of a quote from a Sargeant from our local police's anti-social behaviour team. 'Anyone with issues surrounding anti-social behaviour should report them to their local or safer neighbourhood police officers'.

 

 

 

Ah, so now I'm supposed to feel happy about letting my son out.

 

 

Smileymab - When my son was at his old school he was told by the school's police officer not to retaliate if the boy who turned up in his lessons threatened him. He told her of 3 incidents and she did nothing except every time tell Alex that he wouldn't do it again.......and he did.

 

He was mugged at knifepoint on a bus last year. It happened in front of a cctv camera. We gave the police names of the boys involved. The police did nothing.

 

Why on earth do the police think that Alex would call them for help........he wont.

Which is why I contacted them today, waste of time, I had to get it on record though.

 

Alex is also diagnosed with depression, was on Prozac and tried to cut his wrists.

 

Annie

<'> <'>

[Lemony]

Huge hugs to you Annie, and especially to your son. It breaks my heart to read of events such as yours <'>

Edited August 12, 2005 by Lemony

[Guest flutter]

<'> <'> <'> <'>

the only thing i can think of at the mo

C x

[Sallya]

<'>

same from me

xxx

[annie]

Thank you everybody for being so supportive <'> <'>

 

I've calmed down a bit now........well sort of

 

The night before last Alex was crying his eyes out. All he kept saying was 'why me?'. I could only say to him that bullies are weak people. They can only do what they did to him when they are with a crowd. They wouldn't do it if they were on their own. Eventually, someone will get their own back on them.

 

Like Carole said, I don't know what the answer is. We keep hearing the police are trying to stamp this sort of thing out, but even if the police catch them, all they get is a slapped wrist and sent back out on the streets to do it again. All that does is to give them more street cred.

 

The victims get nothing, but are told not to let these idiots stop them from going about their normal lives and call 999 if it happens again....great.

 

Perhaps something like Boot Camp might sort them out.

 

All I know is that in this country, the education system stinks and so does the criminal justice system. For the everyday Tom, Dick and Harry it's bad enough, but for a vulnerable person it's a disgrace.

 

Rant over

 

Annie

<'>

[bid]

So sorry this is happening to Alex, Annie

 

Bid <'>

[annie]

Hubby Just called me to say that a police officer has popped in let him know that two kids have been charged with Tuesday's assault on Alex

 

One worrying thing though...............one of them was a girl

 

It doesn't happen to me that often, but I'm speechless

 

At least the police have done something.

 

Annie

<'>

 

Hi Bid,

 

<'> Thank you <'>

[mossgrove]

Annie

 

Sorry about coming so late to this thread. I am delighted that the police have done something at last, as you say it doesn't happen very often.

 

I hope things ger better for you

 

Simon

[annie]

<'> Thank you Simon <'>

 

I agree, about bl***y time.

 

Annie

XX

[CarerQuie]

Our children seem like lambs to the slaughter.We've twice had real problems on holiday;last year some children threw Rhodri into the bark chippings and pushed his head up and down in them-because he wanted to play with an older child's girlfriend.(Rhodri was 6 and a half at the time).The year before,he was taunted because he was making the noise of the green man.xx

[Mother in Need]

I've had similar problems with my NT son of 14 (tall, handsome and smart, young carer, different than everyone else and hence a target). HOWEVER, after loads of assaults and reports to the police etc (long story) the police has now given the culprits harrassment orders and warnings of ASBOs, and since then they have left him alone! They're still a pain in the village, but we personally have not had any problems for months now!!! It does pay to keep reporting it to the police. And if you can, video what happens, not only is this really useful for the police, the culprits themselves don't like it and RUN (we've had some real fun at their expense with this, one moment they all come up threatening to beat him up and the next second they all turn tail and run as fast as they can! The first time I did this it even turned out that the camera's battery was flat, but they didn't know that!)

[annie]

Hi Mother in Need,

 

I'm waiting to hear if the boy over the park has got an ASBO on him.

 

Last year, there was a big thing in our local paper about him and his 'gang'. They were terrorizing some local shopkeepers. I know they were banned from being anywhere near the shops (there are now CCTV cameras there). The problem is that they have now come down to our area.

 

I have made a record of every incident to the police. I'm now going to speak to our local Councillor and MP as they both live around the corner to us and we know both of them very well.

 

All that seems to keep happening is the gang keep being moved on to terrorize other people. The park that they go to at the moment has just had the playground equipment renewed. The Council put in a basketball hoop as well but the gang wrecked it within a day of it going up.

 

I'd would try and video them but they don't do anything right by my house. If they did I would definately video them

 

Annie

[bevalee]

Hi Annie

 

We had something similar happen to us last year.

 

When my son was diagnosed AS, he told his 'best friend'. This boy made my son's life hell! He was frightened to go out in the end.

 

Then we had eggs at the windows and my car vandalised 3 times. In the end the police were V.good and the boy was charged. You must record everything that happens and keep a diary.

 

So sorry this is happening to your son. <'> <'>

[phasmid]

Annie, your son and Phas Jr are the same age. Most of what you say has happened to him. The only difference being Phas Jr will not hit back (I wish he would, at 6ft 3 he'd really hurt the little sh*ts!). I phone the police each and every time they goad him or verbally abuse him (DDA means it is as much of an offence as Racial harrasment), and it isn't just him - his brothers get picked on too because of their 'wierd brother'.

 

I have also, as a result of house being attacked, installed CCTV as well. I will not let them get away with it. I now know most of the local PC's on first name terms and the local councils Anti-social behaviour officer has been a frequent visitor and e-mail contact. Bullying is not 'bullying' after the ###### are over 10, it IS ASSAULT. I make sure the police treat it as such! The message has started to sink in amongst the local yobs and for the most part they leave my kids alone now...but every time they don't they know full well what to expect.

 

I have had to educate some of the police officers about Aspergers, but at least now they understand it and take it into account. On the point of having at least three families kicked out of their rented accomodation as a result of this. Not nice I know, but my kids didn't ask to be attacked by theirs and they have all had plenty of warnings, first from me, then from me and the police and then the police and the ASB officer, then their landlords got involved. They don't seem to want to listen to the 'be nice approach' so we no longer use it. They only have themselves and their kids too blame. If they don't want to go down that route the answer is simple: LEAVE ME AND MY KIDS AND MY HOUSE ALONE!!!

[Mother in Need]

Good on you Phasmid!

[nellie]

My sympathies to all parents going through this, it must be horrendous.

 

I thought I would highlight this previous topic again. It's often the case that people with ASD can become 'involved' with the police through no fault of there own.

 

Police register

http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.ph...st=0entry4120

 

Nellie xx

[nellie]

Annie <'> <'>

[annie]

Nellie,

 

<'> <'>

 

Annie

[mossgrove]

Annie

 

I though ASBOs were specifically designed to deal with these sorts of incidents as there is no requirement for evidence to be given in public, hence witnnesses cannot be intimidated.

 

If a child with tourettes can be given an ASBO for shouting, surely one can be applied in this case?

 

Simon

[annie]

Hi Simon,

 

You would think so, wouldn't you?

 

Apparently not in this case

 

Annie

[phasmid]

Hi Annie, I was reading through the posts following on from mine when I remembered something. Follow this link:

 

CPS: Protection from Harassment Act

 

It wil take you to the CPS website and in particular a page refering to the'Protection from Harassment Act 1997. A short while ago I found this whilst looking for something totaly unconnected with this subject (spotted an interesting looking link and just followed it). Anyway, I ran this past the ASB officer and asked why it could not be applied to the youths harrasing us. The (edited) reply was that niether she nor the police were aware of some of the detail this page contained.

 

Having brought it to their attention I was hopefull it would be useful. Boy, was it! All the yobs concerned were summoned to the police station and confronted. They tried to get the parents to agree to sign ABC (acceptable Behaviour Contracts) for their little angels - they refused. The attitude of the police was 'OK, you don't have to, BUT, as far as we are concerned we have now marked a line in the sand which you DO NOT CROSS. Crossing it will incur an ASBO - this is your final warning.'

 

Then came the best bit. Following an assault by one of this group on one of my sons (which I reported to the police in person within ten minutes - the PC witnessed the bruising coming up) the others were making threats on his behalf to try and get the threat of charges dropped - NO ###### CHANCE! I'd said as much to the police and ASB officer before the yobs went to the station. So, they applied the details of this law to them. Threatened them with court and prison etc - the works!!! The ring-leader now has a police caution that will follow him for 5 yrs and must be declared. It seems to have done the trick (for now, but have been here before - hence the CCTV). It may be of use to you to have a look at this and pass it on to the local Police for their comments on it regarding your situation.

 

Hope it helps.

[annie]

Hi Phasmid,

 

Thanks for that.

 

I am not going to let the little b*****s beat me.

 

One way or another I want something done

 

Annie

<'> <'>

[phasmid]

You're welcome. It is for things like this that these boards are brilliant for, between us we are all a mine of useful info - there is no point keeping things like tis to ourselves if it can help others.

 

Like I said, hope it can help you.

[Suze]

Well done Phasmid in your pursuit of these scum bags.Annie good luck and best wishes, hope you can get the police on board with this new development.

[madmooch]

Thinking of you and your son Annie <'> <'> <'> <'>

I hope these S*its get what they deserve

 

 

Clare