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      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   Depression and other mental health difficulties are common amongst people on the autistic spectrum and their carers.   People who are affected by general mental health difficulties are encouraged to receive and share information, support and advice with other forum members, though it is important to point out that this exchange of information is generally based on personal experience and opinions, and is not a substitute for professional medical help.   There is a list of sources of mental health support here: <a href="http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=18801" target="_blank">Mental Health Resources link</a>   People may experience a more serious crisis with their mental health and need urgent medical assistance and advice. However well intentioned, this is not an area of support that the forum can or should be attempting to offer and we would urge members who are feeling at risk of self-harm or suicide to contact either their own GP/health centre, or if out of hours contact NHS Direct on 0845 4647 or to call emergency services 999.   We want to reassure members that they have our full support in offering and seeking advice and information on general mental health issues. Members asking for information in order to help a person in their care are seeking to empower both themselves and those they represent, and we would naturally welcome any such dialogue on the forum.   However, any posts which are deemed to contain inference of personal intent to self-harm and/or suicide will be removed from the forum and that person will be contacted via the pm system with advice on where to seek appropriate help.   In addition to the post being removed, if a forum member is deemed to indicate an immediate risk to themselves, and are unable to be contacted via the pm system, the moderating team will take steps to ensure that person's safety. This may involve breaking previous confidentiality agreements and/or contacting the emergency services on that person's behalf.   Sometimes posts referring to self-harm do not indicate an immediate risk, but they may contain material which others find inappropriate or distressing. This type of post will also be removed from the public forum at the moderator's/administrator's discretion, considering the forum user base as a whole.   If any member receives a PM indicating an immediate risk and is not in a position (or does not want) to intervene, they should forward the PM to the moderating team, who will deal with the disclosure in accordance with the above guidelines.   We trust all members will appreciate the reasoning behind these guidelines, and our intention to urge any member struggling with suicidal feelings to seek and receive approproiate support from trained and experienced professional resources.   The forum guidelines have been updated to reflect the above.   Regards,   The mod/admin team
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Seabird50

Opinions on behaviour

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* I see that I have previously asked about this, I cant delete this post so please ignore.

 

I am trying to understand my stepson's behaviour and attitudes in order to make things easier at home. His father and I are really struggling and feel we have done everything possible to help but have got nowhere. I feel that the opinions of people on the spectrum might be helpful. First the facts and history.

Stepson in now 20, lives with us (but this is becoming untenable). I have been in his life since he was 8. The bio mother is not involved and has been very neglectful. He refuses to even speak to her now. He was diagnosed with PDD NOS at about age 6. He was always very verbal but was very bullying and aggressive in school and at home in order to get his way. Everything has to be on his terms or he gets aggressive. He was very difficult with food eating only certain things but we worked hard to improve this and have had some success with that at least. He steals and lies all the time. He is VERY manipulative. He has some paraphilic sexual behaviours (words of psychotherapist) He was initially in a special needs school but at age 16 went to a general intake technical school. This went well and he got his diploma in his chosen field (we are not in UK but I am from the UK). He has been under the care of a psychiatrist since age 8, check ups and consultations etc. Originally he was given Risperdol but it was not effective and he came off it after about 18 months.

As he has aged his behaviours seem to not be subsiding but increasing. We now live with locked doors to protect ourselves and our belongings and I am afraid at night that he might enter our room and attack us so we lock ourselves in. I hate living like this. He has been working for the last 6 months but we have heard now that they intend to let him go. He cannot get along with the others there and does not learn or improve. This worries us a lot because i cannot be alone with him here every day if he cannot keep a job. I am afraid of him and frankly I am not physically well and would find it too stressfull.

Sorry this is long. The opinions i would like to hear would be on the following attitude:  He states that he sees no wrong in stealing, lying and his aggressive attitudes and bullying. He doesnt see them as that. When we try to talk to him about this he just wont answer us most of the time but if he does he lies or tries to manipulate. He has loads of money in his account but wants us to pay for things and he does this in a kind of passive aggressive way. He treats everyone as if they are there to be used and only wants them for anything he can get. He is not at all sociable ( considering his diagnosis then this is no surprise) but actually seems to hate people and is very nasty and resentful. He never EVER apologises for his behaviour, stealing or lying etc. He is completely asocial and has no friends and no interest in friends, he now has dropped all his interests and is only interested in his lap top. He will do things like tasks if its 'of the moment' if you ask him but never does the things he is expected to do on a regular basis.  There are loads of other examples i could write but I will assume that you get the picture.

I feel there is something else going on other than the PDD NOS. He does not see the psychiatrist now as an adult we cannot force him and he feels that he does not need to. I know you guys are not medical doctors etc but i wondered what you think of all this. It does not sound like aspergers or just high functioning autism. I really can't get past the 'I see no wrong with stealing and lying etc' part.

Thanks to anyone who reads this and is prepared to give constructive comment.

 

 

Edited by Seabird50

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