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DaisyProudfoot

How do obsessions start?

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Here's an interesting one,

 

I was watching a video of my 9 year old AS son talking to his psychologist (we weren't in the room) and she asked him what kinds of things he liked. He said computers (obviously that's his main obsession) but then he said "dragons".

 

When she asked him what kinds of dragon things he had he began to list them all - and there's quite a few from T shirts to models! She asked him how long he had been interested in dragons and he replied "ever since I got a load of dragon stuff for my birthday."

 

This made me wonder if its parents, relatives, friends and peers that start off these obsessions by perhaps buying a set of Thomas the Tank engine stuff when they're little, seeing they like it and continuing the theme because it settles them.

 

His main obsession is now "RuneScape" on the computer (it's an internet roleplaying game). He has loads of friends on it and I have advised him on the security aspects of it so he doesn't give out personal info. If anyone has an AS kid who feels more at home in Cyberland it's worth having a look at - we had to lay down very strict rules about what he can say but they have a friends list and we keep a check on what they're saying. It's all boring Dungeons and Dragons type stuff anyway.

 

Does anyone else think we encourage obsessions as it keeps them content or is it just me?

 

:whistle: Daisy

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I'm not an expert but I reckon there's a big difference between an obsession and an interest. I think most parents of male toddlers buy Thomas and Bob the Builder stuff for them but they don't all turn out to be obsessive about them - interested yes but there's a limit. In my opinion an obsession is greater than average interest which permeates every area of a child's life - a child with a Thomas obsession might only read books or watch videos about Thomas whereas one who just likes it would have a variety of other interests to chop and change with.

 

I expect all parents are on the lookout for new interests in their children and take that lead when buying presents, clothing etc but it's not the same as HAVING to buy the Thomas t-shirt because their child won't wear any other. Similarly lots of parents will say, when asked what to get their child for Christmas, "Oh, anything Barbie" (for example), and sure enough their daughter is probably Barbie daft but will play with other toys as well. I personally think it's about where you draw the line between obsession and interest - it seems to be a very grey area.

 

Karen

x

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It's not neccessarily the things we introduce them to that become their obsessions. Both of my son's have had obsessions with none streotypical things; such as diamond shapes, wooden spoons, bottle tops, and for a period of time pink socks (this is just a few). Then there are the stereotypical obssessions like playstation and computers (very common I believe).

 

I really don't think we can control these obsessions, whether we encourage them or not they are going to have them.

 

Lauren

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Thanks folks,

 

Yeah, I see where you're going. In that case the dragons are probably an interest but the computer is defintely an obsession as he gets very depressed when he is not allowed to play and it dominates his whole life, every conversation, every action etc.

 

He was devastated the other day when he sister was on and he wanted to go on (even though her time wasn't up). I told him no, he would have to wait his turn and he ran and locked himself in the toilet and cried (not like a tantrum) but as if he was broken hearted, that I had betrayed him. I (of course) went to him and he told me I "wasn't his friend" anymore. It got sorted in the end and his faith in me has been restored but sometimes it all seems so sad to have your life dominated by something like that.

 

I just wondered if I could change his obsession, but I guess it's not to be. Hey Ho

 

 

:wallbash: Daisy

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My son was taken to a sealife centre by my Dad when he was about 14 months, started then, hasn't stopped.

 

He couldn't give a monkeys about anything on land unless it goes in the water or in the air he just isn't interested.

 

Our last holiday went to zoo, he only wanted to see the pelicans, otters and sea lions as they go in water. Dinosaur safari was only interested in the ones that go in water, world revolves round water :hypno: doesn't everyone know that

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I have no idea how obsessions start. I have been interested in technical stuff such as machinery and electronics from a very young age (3?) despite my parents taking no interest in anything technical. None of my neighbours or friends parents were involved in anything particularly technical although a few of them worked in factories making plastic components.

 

My interests at the age of 6 included: car engines, telephone exchanges, power stations, dams, space rockets, video recorders, washing machines, central heating systems, lighting, oil rigs, gear mechanisms, X-ray machines, chemicals, volcanoes, door locks, printing presses, plumbing, aircraft black boxes, radio telescopes, fibre optics, computers, water treatment plants, satellites, medical equipment, and photocopiers amongst other things.

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Does anyone know anyone with as that has an obsession with people rather than things.Also I find that someone with as is only interested in people if that person is feeding the obsession in some way, unless you are one of their obsessions.Once the obsession passes as some do then usually the person with aspergers isnt interested in you any more as you can no longer feed that obsession as it were.I agree there is a difference between interest and obsession that occupies every waking moment and is talked about constantly over and over.I dont think people with as can pick up the difference between the two.They say 'well whats wrong with having an interest'Nothing apart from when it becomes an obsession.I feel people can get hurt because of obsessions if suddenly when the obsession passes they are no longer interested and you unknowingly have been feeding that obsession.Sorry to waffle on but its just things I've noticed.

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Wow Canopus!

 

If we ever have to leave planet earth and take to the universe and colonise other planets can you please make sure you are on my spaceship, someone with that much knowledge must not be left behind - you could start a new civilisation on your own, another Leonardo in the making perhaps?

 

I see obsessions aren't all bad then especially when it creates a fount of knowledge like that. B)

 

Daisy :)

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It cut no ice with my school who thought I was crazy to have such interests. They were also not part of the school curriculum so they didn't see an advantage in having such bizarre interests.

 

It cut no ice with my parents because I used to fill the house with pieces of machinery and spend an excessive amount ot time fiddling with it. My parents did not want their house to look like a rubbish dump as it would create a bad impression with the neighbours. They were also concerned that I would do no work at school all day, and instead get up to mischief. When I came home I would read books on nuclear reactors.

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Well Canopus,

 

I think it shows that we parents need to be more tolerant of our AS children (schools unfortunately never will be!). As we all know there are people out there who made a big difference to the world because of their obsessions.

 

I can't remember where I read it - the thing about the flint tools probably being invented by some loner sitting in the back of the cave working at a tool till he got it just right while the rest of his NT friends were chatting around the fire - also probably invented by him.

 

So keep working on that nuclear reactor so we can get cheap clean electricity but without the radioactive waste please. There you go that's your next challenge.

 

Thanks,

Daisy :thumbs:

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It takes years of practice to make flint tools, so it is probably safe to say that flint toolmakers specialised in their trade rather than carried out a variety of trades.

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I used to collect dogsmuck, always seem to have a stick in my hand with a big dollop on the end :o

 

Now, it's frogs. I find them cute. Also, anything snaily as I love them too.

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I think we all have our obsessions (I have quite a few myself, proud of them :lol: ), but we should start to worry when obsessions become crippling and make normal life diffcult (basically, when someone become OCD).

My son had obsessions all his life, and I must admit that I encouraged some of them, while I ignored (unsuccessfully!) others. I am resigned to the fact that my son will live through his life turning every single interest of his into an obsession. I am just keeping an eye that those obsessive interests don't cripple his living, otherwise, like somebody else here's written, why not? He might even get something useful for himself and other people, in the future. I mean, look at bill Gates and his obsession with computers.... :lol:;)

 

Martina

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Interesting idea here about the people obsession. DS has a friend who has loads of TtheT stuff the proper engines and structures and it is set out for play almost permanently. Now we are back from holiday DS keeps asking to go to this particular boy's house. They don't play that well together the friendship is more based on the fact that his mum and I get on. I thought it a strange request so on further questioning I found out that the only reason he wanted to go there was the train stuff. He is in effect using this boy to feed his interest in all things train related.

 

The train thing started when MIL bought a small train set when ds was 9months old. In toy shops etc he would always love the train table we bought more engines, more track, my hubbie now has a train track in the garden.........

 

I live in a train mad world.

 

I define his obsession in terms of how long/well he plays. With trains its ages once started can't get him to stop. At nursery he chooses train set everytime so sometimes I say no you did that yesterday. He plays with other stuff but not for as long.

 

Considering where to put a purpose built indoor train table an getting DH to build one as don't fancy spending 200 pound on the commercial version. :lol:

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Considering where to put a purpose built indoor train table an getting DH to build one as don't fancy spending 200 pound on the commercial version. :lol:

Does DS like computer games? If so, Hornby do a great 'train set' pc game where you choose the room to put your layout, the lighting, table size etc, then you build your train set from real Hornby pieces (virtual, of course). It's the same as having a real train set but on the computer. James loves it.

 

There's also a younger one, not by Hornby, called Train Town. It's more American but the principle is the same.

 

These are on Ebay:

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/HORNBY-VIRTUAL-RAILW...1QQcmdZViewItem

 

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/3D-Ultra-Lionel-Trai...1QQcmdZViewItem

 

Hope I'm allowed to post links, I didn't check :wacko:

 

Karen

x

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Thanks Karen T

 

I love the idea and DS loves the computer. I think someone bought the Hornby version for DH for a present some time or other. I will follow the train town up. One thing I think he likes about the train tables is the train track stays there. One of the big problems is that he seems to dislike building it. Just wants me to put the pieces together for him and he gets really cross if any of it comes undone. I don't really want to have it on the floor because I knock it and then he creates because the track is broken.

 

Only worry is we'll never get him off the computer!

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Hi,

 

I also live in a train mad world!

 

Someone leant us the Hornby Virtual Railway CD and i must say it has kept Kai quiet for hours! :lol:

 

He gets totally engrossed in it. You chose the room, plan the track layout, add scenery then trains. The graphics (3D) are pretty good and the trains make sounds as they whizz round the track!

 

There are some good railway simulator programmes about too.

 

Loulou x

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It amuses me how girly my dd is, despite being unaware of gender preconceptions and being given a mixture of girls and boys toys from being tiny. It's all Disney Princesses and Barbie, and more recently she has taken to Bratz. On the other hand, this train thing seems to be very common and funny enough she is sat building her Brio (yeah ok asda cheap version :lol: ) train set at the moment. She builds it in a straight line across the floor then uses the curved ones at the ends. She lines up all the trains, trucks and carriages then carries on the line with all the little trees and buildings you get with the set. At least she's quiet (for now!)

 

Her obsessions start fairly innocently and she builds them up before you realise they are obsessions! The latest one is red tops and tshirts, they are the only ones she will keep on and guess what? Red isn't in the latest colours in the shops and I'm having a right old time finding red tops that she will wear :wallbash:

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:rolleyes: When my son began to crawl the first thing he went for was the vaccum cleaner.He would fiddle with it and pat it for ages. When he started to walk he would spend his time outside staring through the hedge looking at the school across the road where there was a big ride on lawn mower. The obsession went from there on to tractors.Over the years we have tried to introduce other toys etc but they get left under the bed.Today he is 10 yrs old and can drive a small cabless tractor aswell as any adult.He cuts the grass with it in our field.He can also handle mini-diggers and reverse park a large tractor/trailer unit.His bedroom is laid out on the floor with miniature farm vehicles.Complete with straw, grass, stones, sand, gravel,ponds, fields, he even has a silage pit.!!! He plans to go to agricultural college and wants to drive tractors all day !

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