Melba Report post Posted September 5, 2005 Hello! My 2 and a half year old son is not talking yet, has limited eye contact, spends almost all of his time jumping on his toes and tensing his arms (now with a grimace) - he really only wants to play tipping sand/stones and water from a cup, but will occasionally play with a ball or roll cars off the table. He loves Disney videos but cant sit down to watch them, has to keep moving. He does like cuddles. He doesnt seem to understand us communicating with him at all. He doesnt like contact with his peers but is okay with a select number of adults. I have had his ears tested (perfect), am on the waiting list for portage, waiting list for EP, have an appointment for speech therapy, waiting list for Consultant Paed, have an area SENCO involved at nursery, so I think I'm doing ok, HOWEVER All day every day it seems I have people (well-meaning) saying "there's nothing wrong with him", "its normal", "the second child always talks late", "it's a boy thing", "his sister talks so much he cant get a word in", "he gave me eye contact", "he knows what hes doing", one person suggested I wouldnt have even noticed if I hadnt been at work so much and he had been my first child?!(3 days per week and WHAT?!!!!), "oh he gives you cuddles so it cant be..." etc, etc - I'm sure many of you have been poo-poo'd like this. When I found this forum I had to keep logging out because the relief made me cry! Reading your posts has made me feel I must trust my own judgement and keep going no matter if others do think I am neurotic/making excuses for his behaviour so THANK YOU!!! Mel p.s any tips for around the New Forest area?? In particular I would be interested to get specific names for any professional with good experience of ASD who could assess/dx my son so I can ask for a referral as and when I get to that part of the journey Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted September 5, 2005 Hi Mel, Welcome to the forum <'> So glad you found where all the other neurotic/making excuses for behaviour parents come You've found the best ASD forum around. I'm in West London, so I'm sorry I can't help with your question, but I'm sure somebody will be around soon who will be able to help you. Annie <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
UltraMum Report post Posted September 5, 2005 Hi Mel and welcome. As you can see from my sig - I'm in Doncaster so not able to help with names. I'm sure there are afew from Hampshire around though... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nellie Report post Posted September 5, 2005 Welcome Mel, it's great to have you on board. This is a site, I'm glad you found it. When I found this forum I had to keep logging out because the relief made me cry! Oh, that brought a few tears to my eyes! Nellie <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisann Report post Posted September 5, 2005 Hi Mel wellcome to the site.sorry I can't help in s yorks area but someone will help you I'm sure.Your situation is very close to my own 2 years ago however you do seam to be getting all the help I wasn't able to get so good on you. Stick to you instincs love us mum's know best. lisa Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brook Report post Posted September 5, 2005 Hi Mel, just wanted to say welcome <'> Brook Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted September 5, 2005 Nowhere near the New Forest, but another who just wanted to say 'welcome aboard'... A bumpy ride over the next few months, whatever the eventual outcome. Remember, there is not ONE professional or friend who's with your littlun 24/7... trust those instincts, and very VERY best with finding some of the answers you're looking for. I may be biased, but I would echo Annies words: You've found the best forum around... Lots of opinions, but no particular angle to peddle; lot's of advice, but no agenda. L&P BD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarerQuie Report post Posted September 5, 2005 Welcome to the forum.I encountered a lot of the comments you did!!! I live in Hampshire and Rhodri was dx at Southampton General Hospital but they don't like to assess until the child is 5 because they base a lot of it on the child's development between 4 and 5.(I suppose in case of a slow start). Prior to the assessment,everyone involved knew that it was likely that Rhodri had an ASD.It did not stop him accessing services and support. There is a paed in my area (SE Hants) training at present to be able to offer earlier dx but I'm not sure how long it will take or how wide an area she will cover.xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tylers-mum Report post Posted September 6, 2005 Hi Melba and welcome to the forum. It's like a little family here so I know you'll feel right at home here. I've been fighting for my son since he was 13mths old, finally got him a Pead referral and speech therapy referral at the age of 2yrs, since then he has seen OT's Physiotherapists, hearing docs, child psychs etc etc. Been argueing the ASD/ADHD theory since the age of 13mths but no-one, not even the professionals, ie Pead etc, would hear nothing of it. Then he started school and it's only this year at the age of 6, that he finally got his ASD referral and that doc has agreed he does need assessing. It's my thought that he has HFA/AS and his school, educational pysch etc who are backing me up on this so it seems that finally, we are on the right road. Stick with it. If I hadn't been so darn persistant in my belief, then we would never had got this far. People here are great and it's helped me realise that I an't alone and that my son's issues are real!! I am on the right road. Stick with your instincts and you can't go far wrong! Looking forward to getting to know you more. <'> PS - I'm in Wales so not in your jurastiction (sp?) for dotors unfortunately. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
karin Report post Posted September 6, 2005 hi melba ditto to all the above it is a great forum the best ive ever known some great people hear with lots of advice hope you get the help you need keep smilin luv karin xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lynden Report post Posted September 6, 2005 Hi Melba I've had pretty much exactly the same comments as you and am still getting them. My son just turned two and I found this forum around a fortnight ago and its a godsend :-) Lynne x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
supersec Report post Posted September 6, 2005 Hi melba Welcome Have sent you a personal message. Carolinexxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Melba Report post Posted September 6, 2005 Thanks to all you guys for your welcomes, they were most appreciated this afternoon - my eldest daughter started school today and I decided we would walk there (have been eating too many chocs of late!!) - in my imagination it was going to be wonderful...... ....my little girl was ready - snack/drink, gym kit, bookbag, tags sewn into every bit of kit... ...my little boy had other ideas - firstly trying to get him into a nappy or clothes was impossible and he stripped off faster than I could catch him, it looked like a Benny Hill sketch with my daughter stood patiently in the hall saying "are we going now?" over and over and me racing through after the naked boy, once he was in the buggy he decided today he was going to take straps off, launch himself out of the buggy and stick his fingers in the interesting spokes of the front wheel of the buggy - I cant even tell you how many times!! I got a buggy board as its quite a long journey to school - however if Ruby jumped onto the buggy board (and we tried many times) Archie had a meltdown which resulted in her screaming at the top of her lungs "he's scratching me, AAAGGGH!" In the end I put him on my shoulders because we were going to be late and then he ripped about three handfulls of my hair out..... ..needless to say when I turned up red faced, sweaty with fuzzy clumps of hair sticking out none of the other mums really seemed to want to chat....oh well! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lil_me Report post Posted September 6, 2005 Hello & welcome to my second home. I'm sorry to hear you are having such a rough time of it, I too went throught the 'oh he's fine he was born late' etc etc as excuses for my sons development delay and behaviour issues. I know how frustrating it can be. I really hope you get some answers soon, took me until my son was at school. Best wishes <'> Marsha Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
