Where's best for an ASD 3yr old?

[NikkiSmith]

I hope I get this right as this is my first proper post, so tell me if I'm doing it wrong!

 

My middle son has just turned 3 and was recently dx with ASD. He is at playgroup with 1-2-1 help (they worked out they needed this after the first session!) but I am not sure it's the right place for him any more.

 

We are just looking into schools for him (1 for complex learning difficulties, 1 language unit, or mainstream with 1-2-1 help) but as we are going around them I am realising that he isn't getting anything out of playgroup.

 

What do I do?

How do I know where is right for him?

 

I spoke to the SENCO this morning (but she is the biggest drip I know!) and she said she would chase up the Ed psych and get the statmenting process started, but whether she will or not is another matter!

 

My dp has AS (and is feeling so guilty that this is all his fault!) and he thinks that I always know what to do, so is happy to leave it all to me, but I feel so out of my depth at the moment.

 

Any suggestions as to what my next move should be would be really appreciated (please feel free to state the obvious, I am just beginning to realise what a new learning experience all of this is!!)

 

Nikki.

(Sorry for going on and asking so many daft questions)

[nellie]

Hi Nikki,

 

You don't have to wait for the school to request a statutory assessment which may lead to a statement. You can make a parental request. You can find details here.

http://www.ipsea.org.uk/sevenfixes.htm#RequestingAssessment

 

The following links are to information on education. It might be a good idea to speak to one of the support services mentioned below, this also gives details of how to contact your local parent partnership service, they should explain the procedures and offer you support.

 

NAS information on SEN procedure, NAS information sheets on Education

http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=690

 

Useful Documents on SEN Procedure., For parents of children with SEN.

http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=675

 

SEN Support and Information Services, SEN advice, information and support

http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=676

 

I know it's difficult when your partner is unable to support you. My hubby could't support me when I was fighting for my child's educational rights, it wasn't until things got really bad and I wasn't coping, that he stepped in. He turned out to be a wonderful support. I now realise that the more able I was the more useless he felt. Do you think he would be able to come on here and view what other parents say? There are a lot of parents here with AS.

 

There's lots of people here who can offer you support. If you want any advice or don't understand something just ask. You are not alone.

 

Take care

 

Nellie <'> <'>

[bid]

Hi Nikki,

 

It's only my personal opinion, but I would avoid mainstream if you posibly can

 

My son struggled for 10 years in mainstream until he couldn't cope anymore and had a breakdown. Now he's at a brilliant special school for AS and his life has been transformed.

 

There are special schools for AS pupils who are 'bright', although LEAs tend to say that special schools are only for children with moderate or severe learning difficulties.

 

Good luck!

 

Bid

[Kazzen161]

Visit each of the schools and talk to them about your son.

 

CLD often means children with severe learning difficulties and serious physical difficulties. I would not send a child of mine to our local CLD schools, but yours may be better.

 

Several local AS children have been sent to a primary school about 15 miles away that has a language unit, and their parents have been very pleased with it.

 

Go to your local ASD support group and ask about the schools - they will tell you what they are like.

 

I doubt that either of these schools will accept our son unless he has a statement. The process can take 6 months, so apply to have your son assessed for a statement yourself.

 

Karen

[Zemanski]

there are some other options you can consider while you are waiting for assessment - your child may need extra time in an early years setting more suited to his needs. Playgroups are noisy busy places, some nurseries are calmer and quieter, have more flexible routines and more structure to the activities. There are some very good state nurseries - Com's was superb - and also some great private ones - montessori nurseries are usually pretty good - but do go in and smell the atmosphere before you decide because there are some really cr*p places in both sectors.

If you can get a referal to a social services specialist childcare unit/children's centre, these are usually very good and take smaller numbers.

 

you also need to begin to think now about whether you child needs to be given and extra year at this sort of level - many of us feel we started our kids in school too early, even those with academic children, you have plenty of time to decide but if you are aware of the option now it can be easier to make the decision later - a child does not have to attend school until the term of their 5th birthday. The pressure is always on to get them in at 4 and schools don't usually bother to tell you this.

 

good luck

 

Zemanski

Edited September 23, 2005 by Zemanski

[Melba]

Hi Nicky,

 

was interested to read your post, my son is just coming up to the 2yr 9 mth and I'm lost too!

 

I have got a good SENCO so have been very lucky in that respect - do you have Portage in your area (they have a website - not sure how to link it), I'm only on the waiting list but already they've been absolutely fab. I know so much depends on the personalities involved.

 

My daughter (4yr 9mth) NT has started mainstream and I took the opportunity to chat to the headmaster about my son and statementing - when I should come and see him to discuss it etc., and while he was very polite and friendly about it, he made it clear he wasnt keen on statemented children. I think I caught him at a bad time because he has to find �17k for a disabled loo and has just made some teaching staff redundant.. but talking to him made me realise just why the schools are unable/unwilling to fufil the statements

 

I know this is no help really, but just wanted to let you know you're not alone!

 

Melba

[Zemanski]

schools are able to fulfill statements, and must do so by law

 

LEAs make it difficult by under-resourcing but that is between the LEA and the school.

 

The problem is that schools don't want to have to deal with them because they know they suddenly have legal obligations that they don't have with SA+. If they don't have resources at SA+ then they don't have to find them or confront the LEA about them.

 

schools are being told not to support statementing, this is policy at LEA and DFES level and LEAs have quotas to reduce statementing

 

they like to tell you their sob stories about how short they are of money just to make you feel guilty but if your child needs something (and you are being reasonable) then your child should have it

 

 

 

you still have the legal right to ask for an assessment for one and if school are reluctant you have the right to do it yourself

 

Zemanski

[sonia]

My son is in mainstream and doing very well. It may come a shock to alot of people but the school have a great support network and his statement is being implemented. I would thoroughly advice advocacy for education at the NAS as they have been a rock to myself. My advisor recently told me that she felt she knew my son as his statement was the best she had read in a long time.

 

It has not been easy at times as I have been going back to the LEA advising them that they are not adhering to the law when writing statements. An off the cuff remark was made inviting me to write statements for the LEA!

 

Regards to which school is right for your son is very diificult to answer. Mainstream is definately the right place for my son at present because of the school he attends. I don't know how I would feel in a different school that was not so proactive. His Head recently said to me that you would not realise he was there, Inclusion in mainstream is working for him.

 

His ASD was diagnosed just before five and he is now in year 1.

 

Although the process of statementing is very lengthy and can emotionally drain you I feel it has been worth it, although I times I was not sure.

 

Ensuring our children get the support that they deserve and are entitled to will always be a battle in my eyes.

 

Arm yourself with as much knowledge as possible as parent power goes a long way.

 

Good luck,

Soniax

[lil_me]

Every child and every school is different. First thing I would say is ignore every horror story you hear, ignore anyone saying do this/don't do this and work with the schools to find out what is best for your son. Visit each of them and go with which ever one you feel will best suit your son, and don't be afraid of getting it wrong and having to change later, noones perfect.

 

My son was struggling with mainstream but now we've found out what the issues are things are being done and put into place and he is settle much better now. It has took time, but we're definately getting there and he is so much happier.

 

Fingers crossed he'll be able to stay in mainstream as he is so intellgent and from what the local specialist school told me mainstream will give him so many more opportunities. We do not have any specific ASD schools in my area so its either mainstream or none specific primary.

Edited September 24, 2005 by lil_me

[NikkiSmith]

Thank for all the replies and links. There is so much to take on board and I am so scared of doing the wrong thing for him.

 

I am trying to keep an open mind, but it's not easy when I can see his behaviour deteriorating and getting so challenging that I know it will restrict his options.

 

Anyway, sorry for rambling on.

 

Thank you all for being so helpfull, you have given me lots to think about.

 

Nikki.

[sonia]

Ny son had quite challenging behaviour when he started reception and no diagnosis at that stage. He was regularly hitting his teacher and even stabbed the head with a pencil in her hand!

 

They have a behaviour management plan for him and are trained to use emotional freedom technique to relax him. They also ensure time out outside of the mainstream classroom. This is all in his statement.

 

As I have described above he is now very settled and it is working for him, so mainstream is for him. Although another child in his year has ASD and I am not so sure the school is the right place for him.

 

You must visit them and hopefully you will get a feeling which is the right place. Our children are so different and certain schools may not be the right one even for a child that does not have ASD.

 

Soniaxx