rainbow queen Report post Posted October 5, 2005 i know this sounds a bit negative but i was just wondering how all you guys cope mentally yourself?? although i myself have had a history of depression -i swear down my son and the difficultys that have arisen with him,have more or less nearly brought a nervous break down on me i take antidepressents and a mood stabilser to help me cope,i know my poor lad cant help it but i really do have to grit my teeth with some of the day to day mayhem that comes up,i live for my bath at night with lavender oil i just wondered how the rest of you cope with all this?? any tips or help gratefull thanks x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hev Report post Posted October 5, 2005 i cant give any tips cos i dont cope very well myself,ive been on prozac and i know steven cant help having aspergers and obviously i love him loads but i find his behaviour so hard to cope with,i havent tried lavender oil as i would need a constant bathfull to keep me calm,i just go day by day and see what joy that day brings then hope 2mra will be better,you are not being negative,we all have our bad days,i post on here and it helps me to read about other peoples ways of dealing with their children,you are not on your own by any means Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
helenl53 Report post Posted October 5, 2005 Guys, one of the best therapies is to come to this forum- you are among friends who understand. And also, there is no shame in feeling down - you are doing one of the hardest jobs in the world by just being a parent and with all the cr*p that we get from education, then it is no wonder we have to get a bit of chemical help and a lavender fix from time to time. There is alway someone to talk to on the forum. Love helenL Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
elainem Report post Posted October 6, 2005 Hi, <'> <'> sorry you are not feeling good at the moment. I have had many periods of feeling down and also have taken prozac. My worst times were when we had no diagnosis. Things are a little better since then and also things are quite settled at the moment. But I know it can't last so bracing myself! I also drink a lot of wine Elaine Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
supersec Report post Posted October 6, 2005 Hi, I also find things really hard sometimes. I find that large quantities of alcohol help - cant stand the smell of lavender unfortuantely - reminds me of my psycho mother! Helps that my hubby runs an off licence. Joking aside tho I think we cope because we have to cope - there is no other option but some days are harder to cope with than others. Someone said to me (and for the life of me can't remember who) if you can smile at least once a day cos if you can smile then it is copeable with and I try and smile all the time! big hugs Caroline Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
loulou Report post Posted October 6, 2005 Hi, I find it really gets me down too. I was on anti-depressants pre diagnosis. Looking after Kai and going through all the cr** we've been through made me get panic attacks . I thought it had all ended, but Kai started his new school 3 weeks ago, and the panic attacks have started up again. I don't even know what i'm panicking about, but it's horrible. I should be enjoying the time to myself but i just sit about at home all day. I think all families have their ups and downs, but sometimes the downs are more than the ups. I'm thinking about going for an Indian Head Massage, i heard it's a great stress reliever. Loulou x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyProudfoot Report post Posted October 6, 2005 Yup, very stressful, permanent headaches and doesn't do my Lupus (it's an auto-immune illness) any good at all!! I just keep saying to myself "why doesn't he understand that what he's doing isn't right?" I know the answer folks - I SO wish we were telepathic and didn't have to rely on prehistoric means of communication! Daisy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
linss Report post Posted October 6, 2005 I find that i have permanant butterflies in my stomach ,taking my son to school and picking him up occupy my thoughts all day. Really stupid i know i'm not the one at school! One thing i do find really helps is to arrange something nice for yourself - last night i went to the cinema to see "Pride and Prejudice".it was great and the best thing about it was that i'd been looking forward to it all day it helps to counteract the worries. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted October 6, 2005 Good thread! I've got lots of AS qualities, and I have lived my whole life in a state of anxiety, to varying degrees Absolutely no one has ever understood just how much I struggle with social interaction, or how churned up inside it makes me feel... Unfortunately ordinary life in general seems to be a series of open-ended problems, without definite outcomes, etc...I hate this, and it makes me feel and panicky. Of course, then add on struggling with the LEA, SS, Health, etc, etc... I have also always felt that if I relax and start to enjoy things, something awful will happen...and to be fair, it usually does! Bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mossgrove Report post Posted October 6, 2005 I thought it had all ended, but Kai started his new school 3 weeks ago, and the panic attacks have started up again. I don't even know what i'm panicking about, but it's horrible. I should be enjoying the time to myself but i just sit about at home all day. It is not as uncommon/irrational as you might think, especially as Kai was at home for a while before going to school, we experienced the same thing when our eldest two boys started at Special School. I think it is because when they are at home you know what they are doing and have a degree of control when things go wrong, but when they start at school you don't know what is happening and are dreading a phone call to say that it's all gone wrong. It does get better with time though. Simon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
loulou Report post Posted October 6, 2005 Thanks Simon, I can see that now. Every day i can't wait to go and pick him up so he's "safe" with me. The school are really understanding and have been really supportive though. His teacher has a real soft spot for him, so that makes me feel better Linss, i know how you feel. I have butterflies in my stomach all day and am finding it hard to wind down in the evenings. One good thing though, i don't feel hungry when i have butterflies, so i should shed some pounds! Loulou x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted October 6, 2005 I can identify with the butterflies - they seem to have taken up permanent residence in my stomach. One dubious benefit - I never need to diet as it dampens down my appetite completely. I find distraction helps me too - I go out and play tennis and do acting and feel much better for it. I know not everyone in this forum is able to leave the house and do stuff like this, but but even if you're at home I can recommend sudoku as a good stress buster or just looking at another website to do with a particular interest. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted October 6, 2005 Same here........ Constant worrying.... No sleep...... Stressed up top eyeballs...... Feeling low most of the time..... Constant headache (daisy - i can relate to you hun, at the moment the Drs calling it M.E., last year it was Lupus, the year before M.E., the three years before that....Lupus....seems to depend which neurologist i get lumped with...) Two jobs and still no money.... Worry,worry, worry..... But... I manage because i have to, because no matter how much my little boy/school/ ignorant people, drivesme up the wall, i love my son, absolutely and completely. And i manage because i come on here - get advice, have a moan, (or read 'the batcave' and have a giggle ). <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
misterfredrogers Report post Posted October 6, 2005 when ive had a bad day ajack daniels n coke seems to help Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tez Report post Posted October 6, 2005 My husband tried Reiki and Taichi and both worked well for him as does doing crossword puzzles and sudoku. I tried Reiki but just felt stupid, guess I just couldn't suspend my scepticism. I'm far more like Bid. I just can't relax until I've dealt with a problem so for me researching solutions and doing all I can to deal with the causes of the tension works best. I also have this great fear of being controlled so I need to feel that I am in control and agreement with the solutions being offered. As Bid says I deal badly with social interaction so dealing with my son's problems has put a great strain on me and I have many anxiety symptoms but I find it easiest to deal with things at arm's length by email where I have time to organise my thoughts. This helps me to keep calm and remain in control. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites