BANMAN Report post Posted September 8, 2004 DW limps away,...... That's one problem solved!!!! heh heh heh Well done DW, thats one less superhero to deal with. Onwards..... for one day we will rule the world Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kris Report post Posted September 8, 2004 Once again, by popular demand and for one further night only... And who demanded that then?? I'll have em banned straight away I tell you. Own up!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarolJ Report post Posted September 8, 2004 Opps, just got a flood control error message come up! Nothing to do with the inco pads! sorry, BD had to wash & iron my electric knickers! Wanted to look me best for yer! Fancy a slow dance later? If u r capable, after Ben watching Texas Chainswaw Massace, might remove a limb or something more vital! PS this undies are electrically charged, would not suggest pinching em! U will get a 240Volt electrical shock! Take alook at Jester's hair standing on end! That was not BRW's embrance that was me doing the bump! Cheeky girls indeed! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Elefan Report post Posted September 8, 2004 1: I saw nothing! What about you mate? 2: I heard nothing! 3: Lads,...I SMELT something!!!!! 1&2: That will have been BRW! Wonder where she is now? SOCO 1: Excuse me people,...there's nothing to see! BRW sits up, holding her head. ''What's all the fuss??? Hic!'' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jester Report post Posted September 8, 2004 The Jester wanders up to The Female Inquisitor "Hello, Darling...LIKE the costume...Margaret Thatcher, huh? Must be because of all the PM's you keep sending. Hahahahahahahaha - I'm SO funny - hahahahaha GEDDIT Hahahaha..er...hang on I'm gonna sit down for a bit love. I think I may have eaten a dodgy cheese football or something just before the fifth pint. Jester Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kris Report post Posted September 8, 2004 Ooops, then I'll turn off flood control for the night Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted September 8, 2004 Fancy a slow dance later? If u r capable, after Ben watching Texas Chainswaw Massace, might remove a limb or something more vital! IF I'M CAPABLE!!??!! WHAT ON EARTH IS THE CHAINSWAW MASSACE??? It would be a privilege and an honour, m'dear!. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarolJ Report post Posted September 8, 2004 Worn but still in working order! Ahah, reminds me of the two nuns in the bath joke! Where's the soap? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kris Report post Posted September 8, 2004 Where's the soap? Yes it does, doesnt it The old ones are the .......... oldest Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted September 8, 2004 Jester - red wine; both nostrils! The first of many, I hope! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarolJ Report post Posted September 8, 2004 Well Ben's tucked up in bed with a suitable video (Texas Chainsaw Massacre - that should keep the beggar quiet!), and I'm all set with my wine beside me (just the one box tonight, I think, school run tomorrow... One day we'll leave on time and be able to walk! and I'm in the mood to Partay... Been polishing up my chat up lines... Honesty BD, one crate of wine and the old brain cells start slipping! do I have to quote your posts back, losing your grip mate! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarolJ Report post Posted September 8, 2004 (edited) The old ones are the .......... Saddest! Edited September 8, 2004 by CarolJ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted September 8, 2004 Sparkledraws, I think you miseed my point... it waz the tiping errar s i wus commentinnng on. seem to suggggest you mite be won ova the 8 !! I almost typed that on purpose! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarolJ Report post Posted September 8, 2004 WHAT ON EARTH IS THE CHAINSWAW MASSACE??? Forgive my thypos, alcholhol does funny fings cant type, too well just now! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarolJ Report post Posted September 8, 2004 (edited) Have another bottle of vino BD, helps loosen up the fingers! Tipos be damnned! Enjoy yerself! Edited September 8, 2004 by CarolJ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted September 8, 2004 Episode 2 : THE TEDIUM CONTINUES �How do I look� the Captain enquired, emerging with some difficulty from the dark recesses of the Jester?s personal closet, �there wasn?t an awful lot left in there, but I think I?ve done OK�? �Well, I don?t know about the ?lot�, quipped Jester, �but it?s certainly ?awful?, so there must have been, if you follow my drift�? There was a stunned silence as both considered for a moment the Jester?s last sentence, then both gave up on it, and ordinary silence returned once more? CC stood before the mirror and gave himself the once over, starting at the feet, which were encased in oversized purple Doc Martens. �I?ll bet nobody else?ll have these� he gloated? Moving north, two stick thin appendages emerged sockless from the boots to connect with the aforementioned magnificent patella, travelling from there onward and upward to disappear inside baggy, khaki-green, knee-length shorts, which had been adapted with coat hanger wire in the legs to produce the �Eric Morecambe� effect ? an addition the Jester had made in his ?footlight? years for a skit based loosely around a number of other footlights skits?Above these, tucked in to the string and fag packet ?utility belt? (exclusive designer wear ? ?Neil of R. Tattak?), the Captain wore an oversize, home printed, tie-dye ?Active But Odd? T-Shirt, to which he had pinned a small badge reading ?Munchausen By Proxy My A***?. The whole ensemble was topped off with an original �bushwhackers� corks-on-strings outback hat, emblazoned across the front with the legend �Fix it�; a reject from the wardrobe department of a seventies TV. series featuring Sir Jimmy Saville OBE? [incidentally, if they ever make Jimmy Saville an Earl, will that make him an earlobe? Answers on a postcard please to �The Goodies Christmas show, 1977�]. �Well, it?s not bad, I suppose, under the circumstances, � offered Jester, �but are you sure about the hat?� �It may not look very pretty,� replied the Captain, �but it sure as hell keeps the flies off my watermelon?� [NB: for anyone ?In The Know? regarding the origins of that last reference, let?s be honest, I?d never have got the unedited version past ban-man and delete woman!]? �Oh, and I also found this:� he continued, holding up a red and blue, tassel-edged, moth-eaten rag. �My god, � said Jester, �I thought that was lost forever. You want to hang onto that ? it could come in useful�. �What is it?� asked CC. �It?s the ?Magical Poncho of Twisted Logic? ? It once belonged to ?El Nombre? the famous Mexican numerals wizard� �Ah yes, I think I?ve heard of him?I hope I?m not breaking any sort of copyright by wearing it? Wasn?t he foully murdered by the dark witch Voorderman; the most powerful of all the ?Atomic-Mutton Magi??� �That?s right, she is the only one who ever had the power to appear simultaneously on every b****y channel at half past six on a Saturday night, and still be ready to take on Jonathon Woss at midnight.�?Ah, but I digress: the magical poncho of twisted logic�? �Yes, what does it do?� �Well, it?s so robust in construction, that if you slip it over your head you can see absolutely nothing?� �And? And??� �And by the powers of twisted logic, as practised by every three year old that ever lived, you will thus be rendered completely invisible?� �Nooooooo. You?re Jesting, Jester?�? �Jesting, jesting? I jest ye not�? jest slip it on and you?ll see for yourself�? �Alright, I will,� [he does] �Can you see me? Can you see me?� �No [hmmmppphhhhhhhhssssssss] where are you? [suppressed sniggers] where are you? [more sniggers, buckled knees, tears in the eyes] take it off so I can see you [hhhhfffffffffffffff, snort!]� �Look, look? here I am [Takes off the cloak]? It?s still working then?� �Why yes,� said Jester, a caddish glint in his eye, �brilliantly?you really must do that tonight; everyone will be soooo impressed�? Right, where?s that money? I?m warning you ? it gets worse? You have 1 hour? Mwahahahahahahahahah? ? (3 times lucky!) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Elefan Report post Posted September 8, 2004 http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=793 Banman,....Banman,......BANMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have you seen this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????????????? Pincer movement???!!!!! Ban and Delete,...all at once!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarolJ Report post Posted September 8, 2004 BD, Banman is on his way over! Take the B&Q vouchers and run why you still have the chance. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Elefan Report post Posted September 8, 2004 Tsk,....a conspiracy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Banman,....Banman,....BANMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They're over here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BANMAN Report post Posted September 8, 2004 Ah ha Baddad, You are all alone, now you are mine (that really isnt as kinky as it sounds by the way!) Hand over those B&Q vouchers and prepare to meet your doom. DW, prepare the rabid rabbit!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarolJ Report post Posted September 8, 2004 �5.00 in B&Q vouchers is all I can offer - of course you can have an IOU for �1.50p. Just what is the going rate for holding a forum to ransom? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BANMAN Report post Posted September 8, 2004 .... and CarolJ, one of our oldest adversaries. (and by that I mean that we've known you for a long time, not that you are old - Soddit, whatever works ) DW, the itching power encrusted sequined kncikers please! No, for her, not me (honest)!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Elefan Report post Posted September 8, 2004 Banman,....he's not alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have you not seen the spanglyknickered one,...lurking in the shaddows,...cast by Capt Commando's shorts!!!!!? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted September 8, 2004 Rabbit, Rabbit? I forgot all about the rabbit... Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahah Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Elefan Report post Posted September 8, 2004 Oh,...you have!!!! Oh Banman,...we really must synchronise!!!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BANMAN Report post Posted September 8, 2004 �5.00 in B&Q vouchers is all I can offer - of course you can have an IOU for �1.50p. Just what is the going rate for holding a forum to ransom? We'll take the �5 but it must be in used vouchers (kinda makes you wonder what the point of that is really doesnt it? No? Must be just me then) Now go, whilst we are still of a mind to let you live mwhahahahahahahahah Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarolJ Report post Posted September 8, 2004 Robbie Incisors sharpened and at the ready - ready to give BD some nasty nips!! Banman with an evil glint in his eye - ohh the power (Like a traffic warden outside a school at drop off/pick up time!) BD depsarately clutching his B&Q vouchers! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BANMAN Report post Posted September 8, 2004 (edited) Oh,...you have!!!! Oh Banman,...we really must synchronise!!!!!!! Shhhh, it looks good and thats all that matters! They'll never know the utter disarray that follows the evil genius's like a bad smell If challenged, just laugh in a threatening manner - Gets em every time mwhahahahahaha Edited September 8, 2004 by BANMAN Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BANMAN Report post Posted September 8, 2004 (edited) Like a traffic warden I beg your pardon!!!!!!!!!! Edited September 8, 2004 by BANMAN Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarolJ Report post Posted September 8, 2004 We'll take the �5 but it must be in used vouchers (kinda makes you wonder what the point of that is really doesnt it? No? Must be just me then) Untraceable serial numbers on those vouchers! No marked vouchers either! How on earth can I hide in the shadows with knickers like balecia beacons! You know those yellow lollypop things at zeabra crossings - okay I hope you know what I am rambling about........ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kris Report post Posted September 8, 2004 Excuse me, has anyone seen Baddad? Somebody said he'd popped down to B&Q? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted September 8, 2004 Ahhh, here you all are - thought you'd lost me Huh? Well I'm sorry, BBQ vouchers butter no parsnips with me I WANT MONEY (whoo, whoo- whoo- whoo) THAT'S WHAT I WANT (da da da da) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ksasnic Report post Posted September 8, 2004 He...lp its a masacree !!! Whoops wrong film sorry calam you'll have to wait.....first day back at school...yayyyy. A very good day for the boy but too earlier a start for me so I reach for another beer and kick of my shoes and relax awaiting the party atmosphere to kick in.. unfortunately for me I am late and everyone else seems well frazzled... damn she thought, no wonder the beer was not of a percentage strong enough to rip the tonsils from the back of her throat and cause her head to spin doh.. whens the next party? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BANMAN Report post Posted September 8, 2004 Robbie....... KILL!!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarolJ Report post Posted September 8, 2004 Like a traffic warden I beg your pardon!!!!!!!!!! Ahah! Have rattled the cool calm exterior of the Banman! On tuesday afternoon just for a laugh put scott's toy ELC truck on the zig zags outside Emma's school and dared traffic warden to give it a ticket. Said it did not have a registration plate! I said yes it does ELC 1! Sorry, have to do these things to amuse myself to keep my sanity! Never seen a traffic warden smile before! Banman, gives us a colgatey ting! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kris Report post Posted September 8, 2004 Frazzled??? We havent touched a drop ya know... honest <HIC> btw.. glad your first day back at school went well. Now grab yerself a hobnob and get chatting ... avoid Baddad thoough, he's gone a bit strange!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted September 8, 2004 Look, she's not with me, and even if she was I'd do the negotiating... That said, I'd love to see her crossing a ZEABRA crossing right now... "It's just a step to the left... and then a step to the Riiiiiiiight!!!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted September 8, 2004 On tuesday afternoon just for a laugh put scott's toy ELC truck on the zig zags outside Emma's school and dared traffic warden to give it a ticket. Said it did not have a registration plate! I said yes it does ELC 1! Carol J, you are a very naughty girl. I'm sure he's a very nice man doing a very difficult job. On the other hand, he could just be another a*****e like the ones we get round here!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ksasnic Report post Posted September 8, 2004 Thanks Kris, hey up folks the hob nobs are on badad...just because he's a little strange..teehee I'll reach for another beer darn small dumpy bottles Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
