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MrsR

Hitting out and perfectionism

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Hi...

 

I've a question. My son, who is 4 and recently dx'd, hits out at his teacher and sometimes his dad and myself. Sometimes it's out of "play" and sometimes it's true anger. He also is such a perfectionist already! If he's doing something and doesn't get it right first try, he gets upset and will keep trying until he gets it. I usually have to intervene and tell him to leave whatever he's doing for a minute, that it's supposed to be fun, etc but he doesn't take any notice and will continue to try to do it. Oh, and if I show him how, he goes BALLISTIC saying he wanted to do it himself and I have to spend ages calming him down and apologising.

 

 

Ummm, just wondering if this is normal in an Aspie child? Thanks! :thumbs:

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Hi Mrs R,

 

I second that :rolleyes: Alex is now 16 and still pretty much the perfectionist, but doesn't lash out anymore thankfully. Now he's older, he understands reasoning a lot better.

 

Annie

:)

Edited by annie

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This is very common in Asd children, my daughter was just the same.

The problem with hitting out is a big problem with us at the moment, my youngest son has received two blows to the head this week, just this morning she hit him with a book. I just dont know what to do myself and she is nearly 9.

Nikrix

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I can sympathise with the perfection theory,but not exclusive to AS kids! I'm 40 now and still have same traits.It's quite annoying at times,but I just have to have things what I consider to be perfect.Even when I'm typing this now,I have to go over and over the story to check for grammatical errors or spelling mistakes.I've really set myself up for a fall now!!

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I live with MR PERFECT (aged 6 ASD/ADHD), everythings always had to be perfect in his eyes or its just no good. I find saying things like 'You've tried your best' just adds fuel to his little fire burning inside him when something he is doing isn't perfect. If he drops some of his food on the floor he won't eat etc etc. Perfectionist in him is the hardest part for me as everything isn't perfect.

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Hi :)

 

This is just like my son at 4 hitting out tidying up classifying very perfectionnist with writing and drawing and not coping with any kind of frustration, yes very much like ASD AS children. :angry:

 

Take care. >:D<<'>

 

Malika

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Thanks for your replies! It sure helps knowing you're all out there and know what I'm talking about. The MIL is still in denial-my son is "just being 4" in her eyes, and just ask her...she knows more than the consultants! :rolleyes:

 

Sometimes I just don't know what to do with S. He doesn't like loud noises at school, like the children when they get loud, but he can't or doesn't want to control the volume of his voice, no matter how hard I try to keep him quiet. This is especially difficult when he wakes at 6am and others are trying to sleep! He just won't keep his voice down. Actually, I lie. He will for about 3 minutes, then he can't seem to help himself and gradually gets louder until he's nearly shouting and I have to scold him and tell him to be quiet, but he says "no" or "Sorry" which I KNOW he's not sorry as I don't think he's got a concept of what sorry is...I could go on... :wallbash:

 

Sorry to be all over the place. It's just all so new and I'm getting increasingly frustrated by the near shouting thing. Especially as his dad keeps asking me why I can't keep him quiet and makes me feel cr*p because "I need my sleep as I'm the only one working in this house so you can stay home." No guilt trip here... :(

 

Anyway, thanks for listenting. I guess sometimes I just feel as if I'm the only one that cares about S and his progress/wellbeing in this family and that I'm doing it all myself. I want to home-ed him because he's really disruptive at school, but the Husband is making me feel guilty about that too...just don't know what to do.

 

Sorry this is so long! :o Thanks again!

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Com's rule for life

 

if at first you don't succeed never, ever, even think about trying again! :wacko:

 

what a pain

 

his psychologist said he has a 'sensitivity to failure' - you should see it, I'd use a much stronger word than 'sensitivity' :wallbash:

 

ho hum

 

I think you need some of these

 

>:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

 

 

Zemanski

Edited by Zemanski

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My son's motto is "if I don't do something better than the rest, I have failed" which leads him to feeling frustrated very often.

 

Gloria

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