Did you see it?

[pleasehelp]

One question though that I could not fathom the answer too - how did he pay for that Goose?

 

That bugged me something rotten too. Yes I have to say I found the end quite patronising and wishy washy-more like the Waltons than the Jacksons really, and I can see why Jacqui might be just the teeniest bit miffed by it. Nevertheless it did go someway to shining a light on the kinds of problems we all have as families with autistic children to those who have absolutely no clue whatsoever-however, the worst problems I have ever had to deal with are not from those who have no idea at all NEARLY so much as those with some limited and very preconceived ideas about what autism is and then think they know it all when patently they dont really have a clue, like the preschool manager we encountered who told me 'oh yes I know all about autism-they're the ones that cant talk arent they'

Edited December 14, 2005 by pleasehelp

[Flora]

One thing that I forgot to mention in my post. If my son (12 yo AS) went missing I'd be on the phone to the police before you could say 'how did you pay for that goose'.

 

The huge implication of that part of the drama was that AS kids are more than capable of looking after themselves (and are even capable of getting the Christmas goose) and all we mum's have to do is chill out and let go. That irritated me because that is not the case at all.

[LittleRae]

Have to say I wasn't terribly impressed with this. The assessors were portrayed as totally stupid (I know some aren't great, but at least one of them must have had a clue?). Dmitri's addition was awful. As was said before, he seemed to sort out all the problems. I had taped this to let my son watch (haven't yet told him of dx) but in the end I deleted it as I didn't think it had anything to offer. I thought their stay at the party was totally unrealistic, also how easy it was to find the kids at the shopping centre & the good humour they were in. I personally would have torn the place apart looking for them. I also couldn't believe the mother would wait half the night for 'Christopher' to show up. Thought the end wasn't realistic at all - would they have put up with all that noisy 'singing'? I think it tried to show too much in one short programme and didn't cover anything very well. And apart from anything else,...those bedrooms were FAR too TIDY!!!!

 

Having said that, HBC did a great job - the accent/voice was uncanny - I was actually watching to see if it was dubbed by JJ.

 

In the end, I guess anything that highlights ASD is good, but for me the programme was a disappointment.

 

A

Edited December 14, 2005 by D's Mum

[lisann]

Hi ya everyone

 

Watched last night and at first found it very hard to get into think that is because I have seen the real doc' several times and read the Jackson's book.I as most of us do know what the Jackson look like I found it very hard and sometimes very patronising towards them.

 

On the other hand it did give quite a good look at ASD, AS, ADHD and some of the many problems/ issues we face on a day to day basis.

The things which annoyed me where things like when she went out to the fireworks ye right I know if I had four ASD boys I would not be leaving them at home without an adult!!!

I only have one ASD boy and the things he can get up to are truley crazy LOL!!

It may just be me but it was ok and did give people who knew nothing about AS, ASD a good look at the condition from our side.

 

P.S Think the doc' is excelent

 

Lisa x

[mossgrove]

the worst problems I have ever had to deal with are not from those who have no idea at all NEARLY so much as those with some limited and very preconceived ideas about what autism is and then think they know it all when patently they dont really have a clue, like the preschool manager we encountered who told me 'oh yes I know all about autism-they're the ones that cant talk arent they'     

Absolutely!

 

We had terrible problems with a mainstram primary school Teacher whe seemed to feel that the fact that she had attended a half day seminar on autism meant that she knew more about Autism than we did, and gave us the 'benefit' of her superior knowledge of the subject on several occasions.

 

People who nothing about Autism, but are keen to listen and learn are MUCH easier to deal with.

 

Simon

[DaisyProudfoot]

Well now .... what did I think of it.

 

I got my whole family to watch it (apart from the toddler) so that was my AS son, my dyspraxic son and my other NT son and daughter and hubby. It was enjoyable but very over dramatised and there were parts I didn't agree with. I also watched the BBC Four documentary afterwards so I'm bit mixed up with the fiction and the reality now.

 

Parts I found interesting were when Christopher was shown the piece of card with the smilie face on it. I asked my AS son what he saw and he replied: "A circle with two dots and a curve"

 

When she was sitting crying on the stairs (we've all been there! ) my AS son asked "why is she crying because she isn't hurt".

 

In the documentary she was tidying Joe's room (ADHD) and I thought "how does she do that?" I went to tidy my NT daughter's room a few months ago looked around the room and sat on the bed and cried. I couldn't work out where to start or why I should even bother as I knew a few days later it would be back to bad. bad. bad.

 

AND... in the drama when Demitri turned up with the dog asking if "Christopher" wanted to walk it with him - well that reminded me of someone else on this forum who had exactly the same problem!

 

All in all ..... interesting

 

Daisy

[lorryw]

Who did pay for the wretched Goose?

[DaisyProudfoot]

And she has them doing Tae Kwondo - I've got mine doing that too - although I run away every time the big guy asks me if I want to join in too

[baddad]

So there you go girls, all you've got to do is find yourselves a good looking school janitor in need of a green card and all your problems are solved!!

Cynical old sod, aint I?

Seriously, this was nowhere near as bad as I feared it might be, but not as good as it COULD have been either...

I have mixed feelings about some of the Jackson's activities, but no doubt about it, those things aside Jacqui is a fantastic mum and a great advocate for hers (and by extension our) kids.

As a drama, i think this was a bit twee and sweet, but nowhere near as misinformed as (i.e.) Rainman.

After this, on BBC4 they showed the original 'My Family & Autism' documentary, and the far more straightforward The Autism Puzzle, both well worth watching if you get the chance...

L&P

BD

[barefoot wend]

I think it was good drama but I did feel a lttle insulted that people would think it's all very cutesey and nice so why am I finding it so difficult?

 

A bit too saccharine sweet for me but good entertainment and it does raise awareness.

 

Barefoot

[Sallya]

I nearly missed it, but the old man wanted to see it.

 

 

Lots of mixed feelings.

I saw bits of D in Davy and Christopher, the scene on the bus with money, the bathroom scene.. had lots of occasions like those. Identified with not wanting to let him go out by himself, no road sense... but I have been letting him walk down the path to school by himself a bit further every day... the feeling of 'can I take them out, and how long can we last before it goes wrong?'

Thought it started off well, but they went a bit wrong with the ending.

s

xxx

[ceecee]

Mossgrove

 

I have to say that like you I would far rather someone said I know nothing abou ASD but I'm keen to learn tell me about it, than come out with parrotted statements that is something they have heard on the t.v. and actually proves that they know nothing about the condition.

 

I had this so many times by dr's health visitors etc .

 

Not everyone knows everything about every condition but please hold your habds up and say I don't know but I am willing to learn

 

That's it rant over now back to the ironing.

[elaine1]

I liked it and i must say hbc got jackies voice to a tee, sounded just like her.

I was a bit uncomfortable with the romance thing though, but otherwise a fair portrayal.

[Guest flutter]

made me cry and laugh

the romance was a bit funny to add, but handy for "joe public" all in all

C x

[Suze]

From reading everyones posts, and watching last night it,s proved to me just how different and diverse all our kids are.My son watched the first half hour and was killing himself laughing all the way through it .But the Christopher in the drama was,nt really anything like my son.The bit I could relate to the most was the party(although I thought she was asking for trouble going in the first place . I,d have stayed at home and made butties or something).When Christopher is talking to the old man, my son loves older adults and would have been found in a quiet corner talking about steam engines, and the olden days .All the kids seemed to get on well with each other, there was,nt alot of shouting or fighting ................my house is like a war zone and I,ve only got 3 kids But on the whole it was good just could,nt really relate to it.My son would be terrified on a bus on his own and I,d have been a basket case and screamed for the police

[madmooch]

Well I could see H in curtis, Always In just his nappy and baby- like. But i could also see a bit of the ADHD one(forgot his name already ) in him aswell, the wrecking everything part

I was a bit dissapointed that it was mostly focused on christopher and you never really got to know the others

And where was the meltdowns, the fighting and her prozac, I couldn't have coped with 4 and not taken anything

 

Madmooch

[neda]

I would just love it if my kids got on as well with each other as they seemed to in this. I watched the documentary and thought it was ok, my son is being assessed but there is no way on earth I could take him to a party and let him go, he would have wrecked the house, running around like a maniac. As for the shopping centre, it looked like a lovely day out, just the thought of that stresses me out, even when my husband is with me but again, I'd have to have my little one by the hand, and even then he is throwing himself on floors, pulling things of shelves, trying to hide under clothes etc... etc... So although I don't have too much knowledge regarding all of the disorders, I couldn't relate to quite a few parts, although I really felt for her when she fell asleep in the bed and got downstairs to be met by all that food.

[jewels]

I thought it was good overall but as my son had been newly diagnosed with AS (30th sept 05) i was getting into a bit of a pickle by thinking that my son's not like that and to be honest he is more like Davie/joe with the ADHD.

 

When Laim was diagnosed they said he could be ADHD but they want to get 1 thing done at a time and at the moment they are concentrating more on his AS.

Liam's room strongly resembles Davie's/joe's room and he totally takes a breakdown when i used to gut out his room and would come up to me saying "did you throw out a ????" (whatever ir may be) and would start describing it "it's blue and about this size (about 3 inches) and it went with this and" ect ect ect ... eventually i fould find him in the black bags outside pulling everything he didnt consider rubbish back out and store them in his room, hidden away from me usually in his underwear drawer.

 

The shopping trip i can totally understand and it made me laugh as Liam is so like davie (apart from Liam would wrestle the trolly of me and go hurtling 100mph round the place and put in everything he likes, then would dissapear and would find him by the DVD's) then of course the screaming match would start and a huge huff when he's not allowed to get 1, and dont even get me started on the sweet section

 

To add to what Kathryn said about having 7 children ... well i know it can be hard fom some ppl to understand who on earth would want that many kids but i have 6 kids and i think the docu got the mayhem and noise just about right apart from i have much more fighting/screaming/arguing and MESS!

 

To let you understand my situation i met my hubby aged 19 when my daughter from a previous relationship (her dad left me when pregnant) was about 10 mths old. He had 3 kids then aged 6, 4 & 2 who he was raising alone and i moved in with him and was mum to 4 kids aged 19. 2 years later we had Liam and then 2 yrs later again i had my daughter. Then i found out my son has a VSD and PVS and had open hear surgery aged 4 and i spent all 6 nights by his side on a z bed next to him. After that he had to stay off nursery for 6 weeks until he was seen again at the hospital (again i spent 24/7 with him.

 

Yes it was tough, yes i was a complete wreck (i was an only child) and like jacqui jackson's ex, my hubby was never there (and still isnt really LOL) he usually comes home around 7 - 8pm then on a monday, tuesday & friday goes out and more often that not he will be off doing things during the other days as well. He went away with our 16 yr old for a competition in Estonia for 10 day which i found really hard and we couldnt go on a family holiday.

I can count on 1 hand how many times iv been out in the last 6 mths.

I had a saturday job (as well as my week job) to get some xtra xmas cash but after about 8 /9 weeks i gave it up as i was coming home and everyone would be stressed out (specially hubby) as he didnt really know how to handle Liam (or the rest of them to be honest LOL) and it would just be be like a warzone.

 

Anyway ive only been in my job about 10 weeks (got the job a week before Liams diagnosis) and i have been regularly told off for being 5 mins late and ended up in tears yesterday as the last week has been a nightmare as Liam is getting excited about xmas (i think this is what it is) and has been driving me up the wall. He refuses to get up for school, refuses to get dressed and even when he does he will come thru in his day to day clother (even filthy ones) and wont take them off to get his school stuff on, then trying to get him out the door is a complete nighmare again as if he has something on TV he will want to see the end ...OR he will hide. Ive found him in cupboards, under his bed, in his brother/sisters room, bathroom ect.. im lucky if i have been leaving before 9. Im at the verge of quiting my job as i feel my boss just doesnt understand or just doesnt care and i cant go on.

 

Im starting to feel ill and im on the brink of a breakdown i think .. yesterday was the 1st time ive cried since way before the dx and even then it wasnt a really good cry as it was in the work's loo's.

 

Anyway (again) my 7 yr old daughter is showing very distinctive sings of the same behaviour as Liam but cant work out if she's just copying or (as the GP said "wants more attention."

She used to sleep with the light on, be reasonably good at school ect.. Now she says shes afraid of the dark, talks like a baby, her school work has fallen drastically (says her words back to front, b, p, q & d's are almost impossably for her to do now, she steals food (especially chocolate and crisps) and im not getting thu to any1 as they say they want to deal with laim 1st.

 

Monday was a half day at work, was going home t have a few hrs (i feel completely exhausted) but got a call from the high school saying my 12 yr old hurt her thumb playing basketball in PE, took her to hospital and she had broke her thumb, so now she has a stookie on and i have to help dress her and do her hair as well as everything else in the mornings

 

Now off to take my 7 yr old to the podiatrist as she has flat feel (like Liam) and suffers terrible cramps in her legs and with be screaming in pain at all hrs in the morning 2/3/4am so they have put in special insoles and if that dont help (todays appointment) are going to see about special plastic type things in her shoes to make an arch.

 

Still thought the docu was quite good but got me thinking if Liam actually has AS, did you see mathew/ Luke's room??? it was spotless! Maybe liam has ADHD instead, his room was more like davie's.

Also was thinking if any of you use the gluten and dairy free diet and if you see a difference? Cant see Liam going for this as he is so fussy as it is.

 

Will probably pop in again soon.

Take care

Luv

Julie xxx

[Mother in Need]

I had mixed feelings as well, about lots of it. All the actors were very good, no doubt about that, but the actual drama seemed to focus more on special occasions and not daily life. The struggle in getting them all ready for school, the problems in school, shopping with all the kids (how come she could do that by herself, and how come she could go out alone, did she really leave the older girls in charge, and ws that safe?). You know, all the daily problems, meltdowns, fights between the kids, trying to cook with al of them needing attention all the time, how could the autistic ones cope with the madnesss and noise of the ADHD one, homework, health and doctors appointments, getting (of trying to get) them to do whatever has to be done, or going somewhere and all the tantrums and preparations there, and all that daily stuff.

And gosh yes, I would have called the police very soon after discovering my son had disappeared from the shopping centre....just think what could have happened to him on the way back home...and he only found home by chance (getting on the right bus, that lady knowing his area and paying for him etc)...

I also feel that this one guy seemed to solve a lot of problems...the extra help is great, but not enough for everything to become so much easier..

Many of you say Christopher was extreme, but though he is very different to my AS son, I'd say he was very mild.

Mum's emotions were shown very well, crying on the stairs, and so obviously finding it hard, I could certainly identify with that one very much.

[alibaly]

I popped into a womens site that I sometimes frequent and in general the mums, to NT children, thought it trivialised autism. Even the ones who have autistic childen were not entirely sure how they felt about it.

[laine]

RE.. The Jackson Family

 

I sat watching with wide eyes. Although still waiting for DX i watched each of the Jackson children realised my son has a bit of everything a bit of a mixed bag i would say.

 

Anyway love him to bits what ever. Laine

[niki]

I rhought it was good from an acting perpective, and i found myself marveling at h.b.c for her accent and picking bits out from the docu, like luke's sisters "educating" him about girls, but that was all, and yes i found the dimitri thing a bit irritating too.

[DAS999]

I saw it and the one after on BBC4 and then the autism puzzel on BBC4. For someone with little knowledge it was good but Luke is amazing!! written 2 boks, knows html code and seems to be doing ok. my g/f could not even spell html on a bad day! I guess it shows different bits of the spectrum. I did find it usefull though. I thought the Autism Puzzel program was good to, anyone see that?

[alibaly]

I can remember the search for the yellow dummies as well but had forgotten about it till now. It was the first time I'd seen an group of people, virtual strangers in reality, on an internet sight swing into action and I was amazed. I really wish I could have seen the drama.

[pim]

Hi, I also thought that it trivalised the day to day reality of having children with ASD. But I know I have to remind myself that it's not a documentary but a drama.

 

I thought the programme seemed to focus primarily on Christopher's difficulties, while only touching on the others. I didn't think he was extreme. I think ds might be a bit like Christopher when he grows up.

 

I thought it would show more the dynamics between the children and the difficulties this brought. It did seem quite a calm household.

 

BUt it's good as it does raise awareness of ASD. The more programmes there are the better.

 

pim

[noogsy]

hi everyone i watched the programe based on Jacqui Jacksons wonderfull family...she also has a book i think it is called Multicoloured Mayhem...My wee boy who is 8 has asd and adhd so a lot of the srory rang true...my older son who is 23 also has behavioural problems but is undiagnosed.....noogsy

[Anneuk]

I loved this drama too, and found the documentray fascinating to watch after the drama...

 

Personally I loved the way Dmitri was brought in, I felt it was more a bit of romance and a bit of her letting go of the reins and not only letting her kids do a bit more, but also having a bit of a life herself ( i think sometimes we tend to get so wrapped up in the conditions that we forget to let our families live and laugh ---- this is just my opinion and how I felt when I watched it)

 

When I watched the drama, I felt that the little boy with AS was quite severe, and didn't feel that he and my daughter had much in common ( i don't 'know' anyone else 'IRL' who has AS) But in the documentary I was amazed how similar he was to my own daughter.

 

He seemed such a lovely boy as did the whole family, and programmes like this help not only the general public with no experience of ASD's but also families like mine who are on the inside but who still don't know that much.

 

OH one other thing, it was so lovely to see someone elses house look as messy as mine!!! Well done Jacqui and family and thank you for letting us peek at a portion of your lives. I for one thoroughly enjoyed it and my husband who didn't at first want to watch it, watched avidly both the drama and documentary.

 

Anne

[curra]

I could identify with the Mum very well- her anxiety at the party and on sports day knowing that something WAS going to go wrong, her sadness, her expression of exhaustion (though she appeared always with a nice hairdo and make-up...necessary for the drama ), her patience and strength . There were some very unrealistic parts, like the incredible peace and quiet in a house with three NT teenage girls, and 3 boys with AS, ADHD and Autism; or the bloke who came to save the family and even though he didn't have a clue of autism, AS or ADHD somehow made everything better for them; or Christopher's disappearance and Mum not looking for him. I did not find Christopher exaggerated, my son is very much like him in many ways. Having a conversation with him is a pleasant challenge because he always says unexpected remarks.I had to laugh when Christopher got the bowl of crisps for himself at the party or took pictures of posts or patches of sky - just like my son. I welcome that the drama also showed how other kids bully AS children and steal things from them. I thought it was good on the whole and from what I've heard from other people who watched it (people without AS kids) it was a bit of an eye opener.

Gloria

[Gordie]

Well I think we can safely say, now I've caught up on all the posts made since I last contributed to this thread, that everyone sees the kids portrayed in this drama differently, based on their own unique children. Everyone is different, so some will say Christopher's Asperger's (for example) was extreme (such as myself), and others will disagree thinking it was quite mild. I suppose that's inevitable, and it's that that makes producing a drama such as this so difficult - there is no cast-iron blueprint. Another conclusion I could make, based on watching Christopher, is that I'm a remarkably high-level Aspie - that's certainly what a close friend of mine, who also watched the programme, thought.

 

I think it focused so much on Christopher because he was the one who would be most "accessible" to a mainstream viewing audience - I don't think the majority would've understood what was going on with the other boys if too much time had been devoted to them.

 

And I'm sure the whole Dimitri thing was just another effort to make the programme more "accessible" too, and to make the portrayal at least a little bit positive. You, as parents, are all well aware that there are positive sides to your children's conditions, and I think Dimitri was just "drafted in" to help reflect those positives. And remember, Dimitri was part of the whole drama, from start to finish, and as it took place over the course of a year, he would have had that whole year to do his homework on ASDs.

 

But the friend of mine whose brother is in e-mail contact with Jacqui (the same friend I just mentioned above) told me on Wednesday that it was indeed the ending and the romanticism involving Dimitri that she took exception to, and I suppose it's no wonder really. It just wasn't realistic enough for Jacqui - in general, I mean, not just the whole Dimitri thing. Oh, and she didn't like the amount of cleavage on show either.

 

Mother in Need:

the actual drama seemed to focus more on special occasions and not daily life. The struggle in getting them all ready for school, the problems in school, shopping with all the kids (how come she could do that by herself, and how come she could go out alone, did she really leave the older girls in charge, and ws that safe?). You know, all the daily problems, meltdowns, fights between the kids, trying to cook with al of them needing attention all the time, how could the autistic ones cope with the madnesss and noise of the ADHD one, homework, health and doctors appointments, getting (of trying to get) them to do whatever has to be done, or going somewhere and all the tantrums and preparations there, and all that daily stuff.

Very good point - more of that would definitely have helped, but I suppose they couldn't have used the "year-in-the-life" theme if they'd gone down that road.

 

D's Mum:

Having said that, HBC did a great job - the accent/voice was uncanny - I was actually watching to see if it was dubbed by JJ.

Me too!!

 

Oh, and look - the review I sent into the Beeb's "Magnificent 7" web site is one of 15 that were published.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/drama/magnificent7/yourreviews.shtml

You may be interested to read the other reviews on that page as well ... they definitely seem to sum up the wide range of feelings and opinions on this forum!

 

James