Christmas taking it,s toll

[Suze]

We had the nightmare nativity last week(see earlier thread )............last week we were very bouncy, strange noises," shouting out "at school.Well friday night we had a return of the hallucinating and screaming in the night.He was up most of the night, hubby slept in his room with him .Saturday he was pale, and in a complete vegetative state lay on the setee all day.........then Saturday night topped it completely........he had the worse night ever, I had to leave him with hubby as it was like something out of the exorcist, clenched teeth, staring into space .........it upset hubby.Not much sleep that night either.Sunday again very little action, just seemed to be in a strange world all on his own,he,s complaining of headaches aswell.So he,s off school today, I think everything has just stressed him out completely,he,s either OTT or half asleep.Sorry for whingeing as I know many of you deal with this daily..........he just seems to be having a real ASD time , he,s definitely meeting all the criteria if you know what I mean .

[Zemanski]

I'd go for getting him signed off school this week - this level of stress is too high for health

 

Zemanski

[mossgrove]

I agree with Zemanski. Unless you have absolutely unavoidable commitments, I would keep him off school until the new year.

 

Simon

[raelien]

christmas itself seems to be a huge trigger - I know that C gets anxious and over excited from about the 1st of December. Evrything changes - rountines - suddenly your doing christmas crafts and rehursals and things not the norm - and the environment changes - decorations up at school home and every where outside these days, telly changes, more parties, treats, its all too much half the time.

 

the only thing i have found helps it to establish christmas tradditions of your own - do the same things at the same time every year - put the decorations up on one day - the tree the next - home make an advent calender that each day tells whats going to happen and use it every year.

 

i know it sounds idealistic but i only have the one and we have a lot of help, but it works for us.

[fiorelli]

Suze - lots and lots of <'> <'> <'> for you.

 

If I were you, I'd keep him off now (call in and say he is sick, and explain in a letter - you should be able to 'self-cert' him for a few days. I can't imagine there is much left of the school term?)

 

If the school aren't happy with this, get the doctor to sign him off school.

 

Hope he starts feeling happier soon.

[lil_me]

<'> Suze, I agree with the other parents, if its too much for him is it worth putting him through it. Not as if they've got long left to go.

[ceecee]

Suze

 

My heart goes out to you.You seem to be really going through it at the moment.

 

Your sons night mares and hallucinations are like you say part of his A.S.

 

I think people with A.S. the more stress they are under the more the nighmares and hallucinations increase.So I agree with what has been said all ready.You need to somehow find ways of destressing him. <'> <'> <'> <'> For you

[Suze]

He has just completely freaked me out, he was lying in bed, and I disturbed him, I am sure he was asleep,...............I went to talk to him, and ask him how he felt, then he went off on one again, talking, ranting, yelling out and getting really angry , clenching his teeth, looking at me (but not really) and telling me he hates me, it,s as if he,s on drugs.He calmed down after 15 mins and has gone to sleep.Im not sending him into school again, christmas has come early for this dude. Thanks for your replies guys, <'>

[nellie]

Suze, <'> <'> <'>

 

I think you have made the right decision. I hope he makes a quick 'recovery' and you have a happy and peaceful Christmas.

 

Nellie <'>

[Zemanski]

<'> <'> <'>

 

hope you all feel better soon

 

Z

[barefoot wend]

Suze

 

Sending lots of hugs your way. Keeping him off school is definitelt the right decision, hope it helps.

 

Barefoot

[Forrest]

christmas itself seems to be a huge trigger

 

Evrything changes - rountines - suddenly your doing christmas crafts and rehursals and things not the norm - and the environment changes - decorations up at school home and every where outside these days,  telly changes,  more parties, treats, its all too much half the time.

I'd agree - even at my age I still get very stressed when Christmas comes around, mainly because everything changes.

 

I freaked out when I saw Christmas cards etc. for sale in September (really, how early can it be?!).

 

Holidays in general are bad for me, being a departure from routine, and also a time when you have to visit people and so on, and I definitely made things stressful in the past for my parents. But I hope your child feels better soon, and I know I'll try to be in a better mood for my parents as well!

[oracle]

Suze <'> I feel for you because I have been there done that and over worn the T Shirt with David. We called them night terrors and boy were they terrible. David actually got to the point that he would leave his bed and go house wandering in a worked up state of anxiety. It's not nice to see. Does your son remember any of this the next morning? David never did until he was older and when he had his breakdown aged 11 they returned with a vengence.

 

Keeping your son off school this week is very wise. He needs some time out. I have to be honest and say that although Matthew does not go to school he is pretty darn dreadful himself at the moment. The run up to Christmas is never easy and he has been physically ill 'again' this year. He is as white as a sheet and not wanting to do anything but stay home. I have even given in and let him have Spiderman early so that he has something to focus on other than Christmas.

 

Last year my Dad was not with us for Christmas Day and it really upset Matthew and his Christmas Day routine. He was ill - really - and the whole day passed in a blur for him. This year Terry's daughter is joining us for the day and he stressing about this to mega proportions. Even on Christmas Day he likes to follow his morning routine until he tunes in to the day. This year I know for sure he is going to be pushed to his limits by just having his sister in the house

 

Does anyone else ever feel like yelling 'I'm the Mother of a child with ASD - GET ME OUT OF HERE!'

 

Carole

[Suze]

Carole, I hope your christmas day goes O.K., I know things can get a bit difficult with you step daughter (hope I have,nt spoken out of turn)...........My son never recalls the fun and games we have with him in the night. It has upset hubby so much that he intends to video the next episode and show camhs in the new year.It,s like he has been possessed, he talks to people who are,nt there, gets really angry and clenches his teeth and fists.His eyes are all spaced out, like he,s on drugs ........horrible.

[witsend]

Suze <'> hope things improve soonn

Luv Witsend.

[big mamma]

Hang in there Suz.

 

My daughter has terrible night terrors - she seems awake but doesn't recognise me and is very aggressive, lashing out and screaming etc. I find it really scary and can't do anything but try and stay calm until it passes - I think it is all down to anxiety.

[kirstie]

Suze, and everyone,

I know how you feel, Lewis had horrendous night terrors. At the time i didn't realise it could've been stress induced but lately he has been having 'bad dreams' and he ends up in our bed. Hadn't really linked the two but Christmas has got to play a part in it. It's his first nativity play tomorrow, and where i think that he's holding it together so well he isn't really.

I feel it for you because i know how scary these night terrors are and how helpless you feel. It's deeply disturbing to watch your child in such a state of distress and are unable to do anything to help. <'>

[Brook]

Hi Suze,

 

You may have seen on another thread 'oh, sooo loud' that christmas is having a similar effect on my son.

I was reading through a book I have lastnight, trying to fathom a few things out, when something I read

brought your post to mind.

 

It was saying about levels of arousal (which I believe was mentioned on another thread before), it says

about triggers in increased arousal, ie, something pleasant, frightening or aversive. They may become

anxious or excited. As arousal continues to build (which may occur rapidly, or over days) the person may

become irritable, threatening or abusive, demanding, less able to cope with everyday demands.

 

As arousal levels begin to drop the person begins to calm, but further stressors whilst arousal is still

fairly high may cause rapid increases in arousal and further incidents as arousal peaks again.

 

If arousal drops sharply and below the individuals comfortable level, the person may then become

sleepy, tired or for a while miserable.

 

I have re-arranged a bit of the wording, as I'm not sure we are allowed to write things that are in books.

 

My son is also having a hard time at the moment and just cannot seem to switch off, and I can relate alot

to what is written above.

He has become very LOUD and seems to be constantly ANGRY, he appears to look right through you,

he has also started to use a few choice words over the last few days, which he did not before, I have

tried various approaches ie, ignore, tell him 'stop', explain that it's rude etc... but to no avail, he doesn't

even seem to hear me.

 

Oh well, roll on christmas, I love christmas, but to be honest I cant wait until we can get back into our

usual routine.

 

Take care

 

Brook <'>

[barefoot wend]

I'm struggling too. Kerre finds waiting for presents a problem so this year we agreed that he wouldn't have any big presents just ones in his stocking and in return we'd give him extra pocket money each month. The good news is that he's now looking forward to Xmas for the first time in years.

 

Just spending time here waiting to take gerbil to vet which other ds is distraught over - don't think gerbil is really that ill but if I don't get him to the vet ds will explode soon.

 

Still haven't wrapped presents, house is a mess, am in the middle of school appeal, my head hurts - roll on Xmas.

[ceecee]

I think you will find as someone else said people with a.s. do find it extremely difficult to switch off and with everything kicking off for xmas it makes it worst.If i wake up at 5.00 one more time this week I am going to go mad.

[Flora]

I'm very late to this thread, haven't been online much, and was about to post something similar when I found this one already up and running.

 

Suze <'> <'>

 

We too are having an absolutely terrible week. Today being the worst of all.

 

William is veering between a vegetative state (only way I could describe him) and major melt downs. It's really horrible.

 

Tonight he attacked me physically and verbally; called me a witch and said he didn't want me to be his mum anymore. I broke down weeping in front of him I know we shouldn't do that, but it was just too much. I had my daughter crying in the kitchen, my youngest son crying in his bedroom, William trashing his bedroom in a rage, and me sitting on the top of the stairs bawling too! What a scene.

 

All is quiet and calm now. After trying to pull the wall light off the wall so he could electrocute himself I gave him some respiridone and sat for about an hour with him while it took affect. He's now tucked up in bed; my other two are asleep, and I'm here typing this feeling rather numb.

 

The self harming is really starting to become serious; as said he attempted to find a way of electrocuting himself; hit himself repeatedly over the head with a big book; hit himself in the chest several times with a dvd case

 

Anyway, tomorrow's another day!

 

At risk of sounding like a right old misery, I do blame Christmas

 

Lauren

[Brook]

Lauren,

 

I'll join you in the risk of sounding a right old misery.

 

I blame christmas too.

 

Brook

[Suze]

..............Lauren sweetie sounds like things are really bad for you at the moment, hope you had an o.k. night.Sometimes it,s so hard keeping it together, I,ve cried so many times, let it out, it does,nt do any good to keep it in. I kept my son off school this week, yesterday he slept vitually all day today he,s brighter as school actually finished anyhow yesterday so he knows he won,t be going back till new year now.I really hope we all have a peaceful christmas take care love Suzex.