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invent 10 things b4 breakfast

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My son's first day back and I knew it wasn't going to be good! Firstly it is a Thursday so he had no 1-1 support because that is only Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday... I guess he doesn't have Aspergers on Thursday or Friday :angry: Well then his teacher wasn't there and there was a fill in he didn't know and still didn't know her name when I picked him up.

 

Then we don't even get out the gate and it starts... He's been bullied. He says the kids have a new technique and that they just push him over now instead of calling him names and then they kick him. When he tells on them they just say it wan't them and that he's lying.

 

Here is the sore point... he is statemented for 1-1 support at lunchtimes and guess what, his usual useless TA for lunch wasn't in today so he had someone else, who he did know admittedly but who was distracted because someone had fallen over - aledgedly, my son claims that there was nothing wrong with them and it was a distraction, but I can't be sure on that one.

 

I have had dialogue with the school historically and each time it just spirals and the blame is deflected and twisted round to point at my son and his inability to know what is appropriate and what is not.

 

I am getting so sick of this, he only has 6 months left before he changes schools but what else can I do? As they will just say it's one of those situations out of their control because they cannot control when their staff are sick!

 

OOOOH I'm so cross I had to come home and vent, so sorry guys, I'm done now!

Edited by invent 10 things b4 breakfast

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Becky I really feel for you, you are doing all you can I know and its like :wallbash:.

 

I hope you go straight up the school tomorrow. Have you got the names of the boys involved? Say you want them spoke to individally, that way there stories will not be the same.

 

Sorry I am not much help, but it needs sorting and I am sure you will sort it.

 

Good luck, keep me posted xx

 

Nikrix

Edited by nikrix

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Hiya Nik,

 

I have one of the boys names, it's always him and I've been banging on about him for at least 2 years. The trouble is S doesn't know the other kids names, he only knows kids in his class and these kids are in the other class for the same year.

 

I think that they may have been dealt with on this occassion, missed playtime at lunchtime I think, but this happens time and time again. There must be something in the behaviour policy which relates to exclusion of bullies. However if I go to the school the Head just twists it round so it's our fault - as usual! and she's probably then take it out on S and tell him again that his parents need not write another letter!

 

Once again it comes down to the lunchtime support. I could bring him home for lunch but that would only resolve THEIR staffing issue and be doing them a favour.

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Hi Becky,

 

I would start keeping a diary of any incidents. Include things like your son's usual teacher was off, playground TA wasn't in etc. Write down exactly what your son says happens. Keep everything, you never know when you might need it.

 

If you are going in to see the Head tomorrow, take with you a copy of what your son has said has happened and ask for a copy of their policy on bullying.

 

If your son is being bullied, they can't just shrug it off.

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Annie beat me to it! Her advice is spot on. Do not offer to bring him home at lunchtime unless you feel you have no other option, basically for the very reason you cite. If they suggest it it is actually an illegal exclusion and they leave themselves open to a formal complaint on disability discrimination grounds, likewise if they do not address the bullying issue.

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I would seriously consider putting this in writing. From what you are saying this is one of a string of incidents involving the same child who is bullying your son. That is not acceptable I would want school to reply and let you know what steps they have taken to discipline this child ie parents etc. I certainly would ask to see their bullying policy and whaen you get it pay close attention to their procedures as well as what specila care they take for chidlren with sen who arent always able to talk for them selves.

What disability awareness training do the kids have is personalities that is the problem or because they have a difficulty? If it was racial harrassment the school would be proactive so I fail to see the difference.

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I have had and am :tearful: having the exact same problem believe it or not.Have any other children ever witnessed these incidents, does anyone stick up for your son?........I would if possible make all the playground assistants aware of this situation, surely several adults must be able to offer your son some protection.

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At your schools do you have something called circle of friends? Its been on teachers tv and is being used at friends sons school. Its where through a n adult a few children who are your chidlrens friends get together regualrly to have chats about how your chidl is getting on what is going on and how things could be made better. Your child is part of the circle and as confidence grows can say what he finds good and bad and equally the children can in a supportive way help look at solutions ie well if you didnt do this......

I saw it on the internet and have taken it into school.

A ggod idea which is supported by an adult.

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My son's first day back and I knew it wasn't going to be good! Firstly it is a Thursday so he had no 1-1 support because that is only Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday... I guess he doesn't have Aspergers on Thursday or Friday :angry: Well then his teacher wasn't there and there was a fill in he didn't know and still didn't know her name when I picked him up.

 

Then we don't even get out the gate and it starts... He's been bullied. He says the kids have a new technique and that they just push him over now instead of calling him names and then they kick him. When he tells on them they just say it wan't them and that he's lying.

 

Here is the sore point... he is statemented for 1-1 support at lunchtimes and guess what, his usual useless TA for lunch wasn't in today so he had someone else, who he did know admittedly but who was distracted because someone had fallen over - aledgedly, my son claims that there was nothing wrong with them and it was a distraction, but I can't be sure on that one.

 

I have had dialogue with the school historically and each time it just spirals and the blame is deflected and twisted round to point at my son and his inability to know what is appropriate and what is not.

 

I am getting so sick of this, he only has 6 months left before he changes schools but what else can I do? As they will just say it's one of those situations out of their control because they cannot control when their staff are sick!

 

OOOOH I'm so cross I had to come home and vent, so sorry guys, I'm done now!

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My As son was bullied when he went to mainstream school and he was only 5 at the time the school didnt give a damn about it.Luckily he was only there a year and now attends a special school hes never been bullied ever whilst at this school were so so lucky.

 

 

My daughter who is 14 went through a period of being bullied 13 months ago though so i know the nightmare it can be.I only found out about it when i found a suicide note in her room and a letter saying bullies were making her life hell.

 

When she came home i asked her about it and she broke down turned out it was a boy whoe was doing it.Luckily she knew his name and instead of approaching the school i phoned his mum direct.Riskey i know.She was horrified that her son was doing this and said shed have a word with him.I then phoned the school and told them what id done.They also had a word with the boy.I was lucky this was enough for it to stop.It had been going on for 6 months my daughter was too scared to tell me.Yet all it took was for his mother to find out what hed been up to.

 

 

I hope you can sort it i realy do.Perhaps the mother of the bully could be called into school for a face to face meeting with you about it all.Is she aware of what her little darling is putting you and youre son through.Im betting she isnt you know.Bullying is a terrible thing and it makes kids life hell it also comes in all shapes and forms not just physical.Name calling and deliberate exclusion from groups of freinds is bullying also.

 

I realy hope it can be stopped.

 

paula

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We had the same problem, well it seems to happen every year with new bullies and mostly over his speech (he's 7) when it happened last year it was older boys bullying him and the way we found out who it was, was by looking at the whole school photo, he could identify who it was and it was dealt with swiftly and effectively .They were each made to write a letter to me apologising for what they had done to my son.They had to stay in at lunch time and were given no help to write it. The head teacher made them stand up in assembly and told the whole school that they had been bullying and it stopped.

 

Now this year it is new bullies, they are boys in his class and I feel really annoyed.The school dinner ladies at lunch time are hopeless and just stand chatting to each other and my son spends all his time on the playground running up and down without stopping.

 

The head at your son's school should take an active stance against the bullying. The fact that they are kicking him and pysically hurting him should have the Head on the warpath and if not then they are negligent.. in my opinion.

I hope that they do something for you and your son, he shouldn't have to go through that.

Take care >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

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