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dobbie

A Senco turns

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My lad age 12 dx with DCD (school told to treat as if he has aspergers) has been shouted at and called ignorant by his own Senco, any ideas where we go from here ??

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If he has sensory isssues with noise I would call the shouting a physical assault and calling him a derogatory name I would call verbal abuse.

 

You need to make a record of this

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Was your son the only witness to this verbal abuse?

 

The SENCO has acted very unprofessionally, don't take this lying down, children with SEN and/or disabilities have the right to be treated with respect and empathy, to be called ignorant by a SENCO is absolutely awful and cannot be allowed to go on. I would get in touch with school and ask for a copy of their SEN code of practice ... I notice from your earlier posts that he doesn't have a statement, what level of support is he on school action or school action plus?

 

I would also ask for a copy of their complaints procedure as well, all of this information should be readily available to parents and be free.

 

HHxx

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This is not acceptable from any member of school staff, never mind a SENCo (who by virtue of their role should be more savvy than most)!! As suze asks where did this information come from, was it just your son? If so be wary, in our case 'shouting' can just be a raised voice so in that respect he might be wrong (not saying he is - just that he 'could' be). As for what was said, if he is sure that was well out of order. If there were any witnesses to this get their names pronto. A teacher once made a crass remark to one of my twins about being either 'deaf or stupid' - he has partial hearing loss. Mrs P was straight into the head to complain and the teacher was made to apologise.

 

As for what to do about it - complain! Try and get all the facts first and once your sure you have the complete picture write a letter asking for an explanation. This should not be ignored. If it is letter to CoG would be next.

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My first reaction, of course, is one of anger, and I think that would be perfectly reasonable...

One word of caution though - check the details...

Kids can be very economical about details.

There is a chance you're hearing edited highlights of a much broader incident...

that, 'ignorant' for example, while still very inflamatory, could have had something like 'that is a very' in front of it and been followed by something like 'attitude' or 'point of view', and THAT could have emerged in reaction to a piece of behaviour that was discriminatory/judgemental or abusive to someone else...

 

I'm not saying that IS the case, and if it isn't - go for the jugular! Just check the background first

L&P

BD :D

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Thank you all for the replies and advice, my son does have sensory problems so a shout may not have been quite as he told us, but fortunately he was with at least two other children (one from his circle of friends) at the time and he does usually tell us word for word what was said.

I have left a message with the school to get the senco's side of the story and give her a chance to say sorry but I suspect that will not be very forthcoming.

We are rapidly losing confidence in the school about numerous issues and at the end of the day it looks like they just don't want to spend the time trying to deal with his social communication problems, or even him being bullied come to that (one such bully has told the head of year that he does it because he finds my lad annoying !!, this week he's been called a retard), its all just to much for them.

Anyway thanks again for your support.

Bob & Debs.

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Being a teacher myself I can say that the SENCO has acted in rather an unprofessional way.

 

But you do need to get both sides of the story.

 

However, 99.99999% of teachers will be 100 times more responsive if you asked for a quiet private chat to ascertain what happened and you asked politely, but firmly for them not to do it again.

 

Teaching is a hard job and sometimes it gets so stressful it's difficult to act totally rationally at times.

 

On the the hand I'm also parent and there have been occassions when I've have had an issue with his class teacher and I've found the quiet, private, polite but assertive chat the best method of dealing with it by far.

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To date we have just assumed profesional's will do the job that they should be doing without having to be pushed, so we have been very civil about it all, but we are learing fast that we have to be more assertive or very little gets done or at their pace only which means Mat's (my lad) is going to school with unresolved issues or threats.

The best support service I have found is this site asI'm sure many others have.

By the way someone asked me about him not being statemented, this is because our local authority does not like to go down this road (only as a last resort apparently) but I'm beginning to think his school may found its a way out of them keeping him if pushed (our paedietrician, who has been very supportive, thinks he should remain in a mainstream school,so that given time he may learn social strategies).

Mat's is on school action plus and today we have just been given an appoinment to see an O.T regards his dyspraxia.

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As Badad,MQ and others say (and perhaps alot clearer than I managed) there ARE 2 sides to every story. Give the senco a fair chance to give you theirs. If you get an explanation and your not happy with it that is the time to step up a gear. Just be sure to get as acurate picture of things as you can.

 

The bullying is, for now anyway, a seperate issue, we can deal with that next week! Try and get this one sorted but do take the 'nice about' route first. It works so much better than a 'rant and rave' one ever does. Good luck getting to the bottom of this and let us know how you get on.

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Spoke to the Senco by phone today,started off by saying that Mat's had come home very upset on tues because she has shouted at him and i said that somewhere in the conversation the word ignorant had been mentioned. She immediately got very defensive (think I hit a nerve) and said that she had only raised her voice to him and that he had ignored her instructions from the previous day not to go on one particular pc's as they were not for general use (this is in the learning support room), she then went on to say that as a Professional she would never use words like that and how could I think that she would. She clamed down a bit after I said that I had to ask her side of the story or I would be wondering whether she had or had not said these things to my Mat's.

I think Mat's probably told me the correct version as when he came home today he told me that he did not see the senco on Monday (therfore she could not have instructed him not to go on that pc !!).

I don't think I'm in a position to ask his friends to confirm what was said.

Anyway I think I've marked her card and requested that in future she makes sure that she gets his attention by using his name,does not shout and asks that he understands what she has instructed him to do, even repeating if necesaary.

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...she had only raised her voice to him and that he had ignored her instructions from the previous day not to go on one particular pc's as they were not for general use

 

She had told him the day before...but she hadn't told him yesterday. How was he supposed to know the instruction was a long-term one? If nothing else you have, as you say, marked her card, hopefully in a way that she will take on board in a positive way. Well done.

Edited by phasmid

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You handled that situation with incredible restraint - hopefully she will be equally self controlled and fair in her future dealings with your son.

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You handled that situation with incredible restraint - hopefully she will be equally self controlled and fair in her future dealings with your son.

 

I'll concur with Dr K's findings - she may have been struck off, but she can be very sensible when she hasn't got a scalpel in her hand! ;)

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dobbie, I know that you said your son doesn't have a statement and that your LEA are notoriously bad at giving them, but I think it is something that needs serious consideration. Without a statement there is little protection for our children, the ways in which teaching staff communicate with your son for example could be included in the statement. Your pead has said that remaining in M/stream will be good for socialisation, but again, if this was written into the statement social skills appropriate for your son could be devised, rather than just lumping him together with everyone else as a form of socialisation. Your OT report will also have recommendations, if not you need to ask for them, for the school to work with and support his dyspraxia, again these can be included in a statement. Without a statement the school don't have to do any of the above ... and most won't. I don't mean to pressure you, but I think maybe it needs considering, and there are many many people here who can guide you throught the process.

 

HHxx

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Thank you all for your advice, I think we may well be heading towards a Statement. The School Welfare (Attendance) lady is coming to see us on Monday and Idon't think she knows half the story but we have been told she is very nice and should be able to help with things in general. We also have issues over a shirt being splashed by another pupil with ink in the art lesson and are trying to get the other pupil to pay for it, but thats another story. Never a day goes by without an incident at school.

Thank you all.

Dobbie.

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Further to the Senco saying she only raised her voice, one of the lads from Mat's circle of friends came back to our house on Friday and on taking him home and without promptng he said he went to the Learnig Support room with Mat's at dinner time on Friday and a Learning Support person said to Mat's that the pc's were not available on any Friday, he had been told that the previous Friday and that is why "Mrs senco shouted at you on Tuesday".

We now don't know whether to forget it or report her (the Senco) to the Head or Chair of Governors, I don't want to cause problems for my lads friend particularly as he's the only one he's got.

Its a bad day when you lose confidence in a Senco.

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I'd either:

- just rememeber it and then remember to take everything she says with a pinch of salt ...

or:

- tell her that Mat's version has been confirmed by someone esle and that it is a shame but it is going to be a long time before you can trust anything she has to say again ... she won't try lying to you again in a hurry.

 

But that's just me :)

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Oh lord, I would be shouting back Im afraid, very loudly!!!!!!! :P

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