daughter and asd

[jenny1969]

hi to everyone i dont post very often but i do come on alot for loads of advice and to see how everyones doing i thought i would post tonight for some advice my daighter is in mainstream school she is 6 and has a dx of asd in her class is a little boy who also has a dx of asd my worry is my daughter is very quiet and when she is upset she crys alot and asks for me all the time she bites her fingers aswell when the little boy gets upset he is noticed more because of the way he reacts they cannot ignore him me and this little boys mum talk alot in the playground and we always ask each other how they are doing she even said to me that my daughter is worse off in class because they ignore her when she crys and is upset but she said with her son they cannot ignore him he kicks off too much, my daughter can become very withdrawn and cries for me every day many times a day i feel terrible and when she comes out of school she looks like s**t she looks ill the other day she said to me she doesnt want to be human when i asked why she said she wants to be a dog dogs dont go to school

does anyone know of anything that i can print off and give the teacher i am sure because she doesnt kick off the same as the little boy they think she is coping when infact she is not even the little boys mum has said its not fair the way they are with them she said its like they forget about her even at parents meeting the teacher admitted that one day she looked at my daughter and realised she had not spoke to my daughter all day i dont know if its true that girls symptoms are more milder than boys i dont mind if thats the case i just dont want them to forget about her or think she is coping when she isnt

sorry i am going on a bit but i hate that she cries for me everyday at school and i am not there and worse still they hardly tell me i hear of other mums or other school kids at home she is such a happy little soul as long as we dont go out to places she hates

[ROBANDDEB]

I totally sympathise with you as we also had our daughter in mainstream school . The one thing we found was you really have to be hands on with schools or theyll do there best to do nothing at all.

You need to get everyone whos involved with your child to get on to the school and push the right buttons. Whatever you do you must NEVER let up !! Trouble is not many schools are properly trained to deal with it !!

 

I cant speak for everyone else but as far as boys and girls go..i dont think theres any real difference. My daughter has been extremely aggresive to completely passive. Always changing ! Maybe someone on her can advise you better..

As for paperwork they should already have this if your child has been diagnosed ! Again if not ..then you need to get hold of the doctors and specialists care workers etc and get copies of everything involving your child,and ask them to forward the relevant stuff onto the school.

 

Hope this helps in some way !

[Kathryn]

Hi Jenny,

 

Your description reminds me of my daughter at a similar age. She never caused trouble in the classroom, just quietly got on with her work, and this was the same all through school. She never got help either - children who suffer in silence don't cause the teacher any problems.

 

Whether girls and boys are different - I think there is possibly a difference, and that boys tend to act out more when they have a problem: girls will try harder to conform and please - and therefore appear to have mild (I hate that word!) AS but I admit this is a generalisation and I'm not aware of any hard evidence.

 

Have a look at this topic for another interesting discussion on the subject.

 

It's upsetting and stressful to have to worry about a child who is unhappy all the time at school. <'> Keep talking to the teacher about this - it might help to keep a diary of your daughter's behaviour and the things she says about school. The school needs to start taking this seriously - your daughter has as much need of support as the boy with AS.

 

K

[jenny1969]

thanks for your replies it realy helps jenny

[Kathryn]

Hi again Jenny

 

Took me a while to get the link here, but this is another very useful topic discussing ways to meet the needs of the child who appears well behaved and passive in school.

 

http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.ph...st=0entry1444

 

K

[Viper]

It is so hard for our children at school. I just so wish there was a special school they could all go to or we could all home educate if needed, sadly this is not always possible.

 

A big hug for you and your daughter. <'> <'>

[board]

hello just whated to say i just read what you have writen and throught you had writen about my daughter she is 6 and she finds school had she is good in school but when she comes homelook out she bites her nails rely bad and whats to be a cat she hits calls me names its rely hard to know what to do i told the school that she as aspergers she just said that she is talking more so all the best to you jill

[treetree]

i too can sympathise (i think thats how you spell it)lol my daughter is 5 and she doesnt want to go to school and tells me she wishes she was ababy again so she can stay at home with me all day ,im having a few probs with her at the moment ,in middle of going for a diagnosis for as and ppd but the kids in her class are starting to notice she is diffrent to them and have been bullying her which i have sorted out now .thankfully but her teacher is fab and i do have the school on my side but it does break your heart knowing there unhappy and u have put them in that situation but thats not your fault,when she comes home from school she will cry and then go upstairs and watch tv and just go into her own little world ,i sometimes wish i could swap places with her and see how she feels and copes and what she is thinking , <'> <'> to you i feel the same teresa

[Tez]

Hi Jenny,

 

My son is very passive and his problems got over looked because he tried hard to conform and internalised his worries. He's 14 now and his problems are at last being treated seriously and for the first time last Friday the LEA admitted that he'd never coped at school, only pretended, they'd just missed the fact.

 

I think that communication between you and the school is the key to sorting things out. You need to make sure that there can be no doubt about your daughter's problems or the fact that she is not coping. I failed to do this adequately, I'd talk to the school about it and then back off. With hindsight I should have confirmed everything in writing to the school and made more of a pest of myself. Just because your daughter is passive doesn't mean that you can't make a fuss and expect something to be done. What are the school doing about her crying and biting her fingers? Can your doctor help by writing to the school about her anxieties?

 

I hope that you get something sorted, I know how heart breaking this is and how difficult it can be to decide upon the right thing to do. I hope that you get it sorted soon. <'> <'> <'>

[jenny1969]

<'> hi to you all thanks so much for all your replies it helps so much, well its monday another week she looked abit worried this morning we will see how she goes but she is looking forward to the school holidays she loves being at home and doing the things she loves at the minuite we are having to watch roger rabbit ( i know it word for word ) but it keeps her happy thanks again hope to speak to you all soon jenny x