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Bullet

No separation anxiety - is this common?

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Tom will be three in July and has never shown any fear of strangers or separation anxiety. He will happily go to people he hardly knows with not a backward glance. He was clambering on the laps of women he doesn't know from Adam at Toddler group today. Moreover, he shows the same level of affection to us (his parents) as he does to his granddad, the health visitor, the woman at the checkout counter in the supermarket etc. He never calls to let us know he's up when he wakes up and is more than happy to play by himself. I presume he knows who his mum and dad are, but sometimes I do wonder :D.

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My son will be 5 in June, and he still finds it hard to stay close to me when we go outside. He has wondered off few times while shopping, and was lost once for 20 minutes in the shopping centre while my husband was supposed to be looking after him. That was 6 months ago, and when we went to Security to collect him, he was not upset at all. He never wants to hold my hand, and can't walk in line with me ( either runs 10 yards ahead, or drags behind).

 

I don't know if it is correct to say that he doesn't have separation anxiety, but I think he is so impulsive, that it takes over and he wants to do what he wants to do at that moment.

 

I think they are all so different. My son still wakes us every morning at around 6am. I wish he would entertain himself in the morning :)

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Hi Bullet.

 

My son has never had any seperation anxieties, not as a nbaby, toddler nor as the 6yr old he is now. He will qiute happily go off with anyone although I have been trying to explain to him about 'strangers'.

He did go through a phase of clinging onto me when he was in Reception for a week or so but I believe that was b/c of other issues at the time and once they were sorted, he was fine and has been ever since.

He used to attend playgroup (pre dx) at 2yrs of age and whereas all the other kids cried or at least acknowledged that their parents were gone or leaving, T went straight in and never looked back at me. It was round this time that childcare workers actually started giving me warning signs that things weren't quite right with him but they wouldn't put anything down on paper to back me up when fighting to get him referred to a Pead. :wallbash: Thankfully he was eventually referred through other sources when he was 2 and a half and he continues to see her to this day.

He was dx HFA in Nov.

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Thank you for your replies :). The nursery incident really strikes a chord with me, as Tom was exactly the same.

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T went straight in and never looked back at me.

 

 

 

those whose children went straight into nursery without looking back, did they go in sort of as if they were programmed, or duty bound to do so? when picking them up did they also not say 'goodbye' or look at the nursery nurses and then have the same rigidity, like it was then their duty to go with the parent?

my son had issues like this, also going when a little older going in to sheer panic when seeing someone out of place eg. neighbour not on their step, or nursery teacher in the supermarket, or children from school outside school. my son is only just understanding that these type of people also have active lives, not just in the roles that he sees them in. still goes into panic mode when he sees them out of 'role' just not as obvious as he used to be.

would be interesting to hear

A

Edited by stresshead

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Alex used to go into nursery without a backward glance and leave the same way, he still will go into anywhere even completely new places as long as he is told that is what is expected. Shame it doesn't work when you want him to go in the bath :whistle:

 

He also couldn't cope with seeing someone he knew "out of place". Bumping into his lsa whilst shopping was enough to completely throw him for days, it was almost as if he thought the minute school finished the staff vanished until the next school day. He's 13 now and understands that they have their lives outside school but it doesn't occur to him still that they can travel! We bumped into a lady from a support group when we were shopping the other week. When we knew her we lived near Lincoln but we met her in Aberdeen, she was on holiday but by Alex's reaction you would think that she was a ghost, he just couldn't get his head around the idea that people don't stay in the town you expect them to be in, even though we have moved 400 odd miles away and frequently travel to various towns. His dad is a lorry driver so he is in a different town every night but according to Alex no one else is allowed to "be in the wrong place" :blink:

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As to the issue, I am now 43 and have separation anxiety as long as I can recall.

This makes me very reluctant to departures, being unwilling to leave when departure day comes.

Last summer, in August, everything was ready; I had organized for myself a complete small journey featuring the Coastal steamer [Hurtigruten] along the norwegian coast. But at departure day I cancelled everything and stayed at home.

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