changing schools

[opal]

Hi Everyone

 

Its a while since I have been on but need your support and advice.

I am considering moving my DS and DD to my local school for lots of reasons which I can go into another time. Please dont judge me. As i do know how hard it is with minor changes for an AS child never mind a huge one like this. All for the better I will say.

My son shows signs of AS he is 9 we have had a psy Dr say he has not got it but just anxiety and he does the things he does to comfort him, but I know deep down he has but have not go the energy to fight at the moment.

Anyway I need advice on how and when to tell my DS that he will be moving schools. any special way that will help him get throught this. I am dreading it and will probally be on here most of the time to get me and him through this. I know he will be devastated to leave his school.

There will be smaller classes which I am sure he will benefit from and get any extra help if he needs it in the future.

 

I think September to move them and probally June to tell him. I have been told to let him visit a couple of times to get used tot things.

I know I have to try and get him used to changes as life changes so much and i this will help for later life.

 

It is so hard to see your child go through so much distress over such little things in life as changes of types of shoes clothes etc and then how will they cope with the bigger things like this change of school.

 

Has anyone else been through this any advice I would be grateful for.

One worried Mum

Edited March 22, 2006 by opal

[jb1964]

Hi Opal,

 

Can't really offer any advice - other than go with your gut instincts - I think mums and dads usually know what's best for their kids - even if it doesn't seem apparent to them.

 

Personally I think telling him towards the very end of this school year sounds best - like you said around Jun so you have a month to show him round the new one and then start the new in Sept like a new year.

 

Take care and good luck.

Jb

[jen]

you need to take your child on a visit to the school and see what he thinks. Explain there are smaller classes so the teacher can help all the children much easier. Make sure you show your child where the toilets are.

 

Then you need to take him on another visit. Show him his classroom where he will sit and introduce him to his teacher.

 

Ask the school for photos of the classroom, where they line up, photos of the teachers in his class.

 

You can then look at and discuss the photos with your child during the school holidays

 

 

Jen

[RobotMum]

Hi

 

We have just been through the same thing. We moved our 2 (dd of 9, ds of 5, AS amongst other things). We moved them for a variety of reasons, from a large school to a small one. We took them on a visit there on the basis that we just thought it would be nice to have a look. We then started the transfer process. I told them it was actually happening very close to the time that it would, so that ds wouldn't have too much time to think about it and stress. The move took place the first day after half term, so the Wednesday prior to half term we went to the new school for another visit and met the new teachers etc. They then went back to their old school and told their friends they were leaving. They left on the Friday and had a week off and then went straight in on the Monday. I know its a really hard decision to make, but for us it has worked out really well. I didn't want to wait until September because he will be going into year 2 then, and I didn't want him to associate having to do more work with being at the new school, so we moved him now in the hope that he would settle in year 1 and move up to the challenges of a new year happily. Both children have settled really well. I would say don't give them too much notice or time to think about it!! If I can help in any way just let me know.

 

This is the first time I have posted on here - so please forgive me if I haven't got it all right!!

[curra]

Hi Opal,

yes, we've been through it a couple of times. I changed my son to another school in year 2 and then when he was 10. The first time he was very eager to go to the new school, but not the second time. 2nd time was unavoidable because we moved to another area. It was difficult for him because he had a friend and he liked his old school very much. When I told my son I also assured him that he could stay in touch with his friend,(which he did for a whole year) and I said to him that I understood that it was not something that he wanted ( I changed school at the age of 9 so I could relate to my own experience) but that we had to do it for XX reasons and I was going to be there to help him , I also said to him that the first days could be hard because he was going to be the new kid, but that the teacher was going to be helping him in a special way.

 

What helped him a lot was that he was warmly welcomed in his new school and he really did well mainly because the HT and his teacher were very concerned and supportive. But it was a difficult change for him in spite of it. The first days he said that the school was brilliant but then he showed anxiety and withdrawal for some time. My advice is that you take him to visit the school and arrange with the teacher a time when she can talk to him and show him around .When we visited the school M's teacher told him what his first day would be like, what they were going to do and showed him the classroom etc, all very friendly. Hope this helps a bit

 

Best of luck!

 

 

Curra <'>

[opal]

Thanks all for your advice.

I have talked about moving schools in general conversation and my son is very against the idea. Sometimes in life we have to get on and do whats best even when the kids cant see it.

I still have my son go on about moving him from a nursery to another one when he was 4 and he has never forgiven me. This is how routine and everyhting has to be the same sort oif child he is.

He has his social skills problems and has had the same friends since he was 5 and this is what he will be so upset. With the AS problems his friends now have got used to him being the way he is. I also said to him if we were ever to move him schools he could keep at the same cubs with his school friends and have them round for tea and in hols.

I just hope there is one kind boy who befriends him and takes him for who he is.

It is a big worry but in time we will get there I am sure. I know how bad his meltdowns can get,

[clintess]

hiya,with mine i made sure i made copies of all reports to do with my ds from when he was two to the present day.this made sure they were not having to wait about and also gave them the chance to read about his difficulties throughout the years. i then took my sons to the school to have a look round and meet the teachers and they were told what was expected of them etc.it was the best decision i made for them.they have bent over backwards to help my ds and welcome any helpful suggestions i make.it helped the hd was a previous hd of a sen school.they settled in well and any problems that have arisen we have overcome together.