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justamom

Seeing AS traits!!!

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Hi everyone,

 

I was just wondering if you do the same as me.... Let me explain. I have a friend who has a little boy age 2. The things is i tend to notice a few ASD traits in him and i am not sure if its me being paranoid and dx everyone i come into contact with.

 

The reasons for my worries is that he walks on his toes, when i asked her about this she said he often does it. He has certain routines (already at his age)he has to play with his puzzles in a certain way or he wont continue. He has very limited speech and when he tries to show you something he does not point but kinda hums for you to look at what he means. He has sleep problems His comprehension of things is unreal and he understands everything that you say and ask him. He is extremely clever, are these things that little children do (its been 12yrs since mine were little and i have forgotten).

 

Do any of you do the same as me, see AS traits in everyone you meet. Shoud i have concerns about this little lad or am i being silly?

 

Justamom

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Hi Justamom,

 

I understand exactly what you mean - my daughter's (12yrs) only recently been diagnosed and I've read and crammed so much into my head during the past year that I'm finding I'm practically diagnosing people in my head all the time - I can't seem to stop doing it - even with people I work with!!!

 

My other little girl is only 3yrs old and I'm constantly thinking about it - she is a very fussy eater, likes things in order and is very literal - very often I think to myself mmm. she's just like L - except I know that already I can see massive differences in her social skills - dressing herself and being aware of her actions (noticing things - like trying to get a cup of water off the coffee table and moving something out of the way first - my eldest wouldn't do that even now).

 

Having said all that it didn't stop me from asking the CPN who home visits my eldest to put my mind at rest -which of course she did.

 

Take care,

Jb

Edited by jb1964

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Hi JAM

 

I thought it was just me......glad it isn't!

 

Ds all kicked of with a stutter.....anyway to cut a very long story short, nx doors boy started a stutter which worsoned with time. I politely said to her have you thought of taking him to speech therapy. She said no, your son grew out of it (only lasted a couple of months) mine will. I left it at that, now nearly 2 yrs later he is still very bad, if not worse. The lad in question is 5 1/2 and i really struggle to understamd him sometimes, but his mum isn't worried. She has a lot on her plate at the mo, but i really want to bring it up again, just trying to help really, i just know as soon as a problem is detected, the better the chance of dealing with it.

 

So i guess i am in the same boat, don't know whether to say owt. For the record we aren't just neighbours but best friends as well, so she never takes anything i say out of context. Don't get me wrong i don't think he is ASD but his speech is very poor for his age.

 

tmf

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I think we all do it because we know the trigger words (like my friend told me her child loves things that spin ... and everytime I see him now I am watching him to see if he has other traits).

 

I am watching my younger son the same - actually I just posted a notice about walking on toes ... and then I read your post, spooky!

 

Lets face it we all have some kind of traits, ways of doing things or some such and apparently it is common to find children with one or two of the things on the triad of impairments, who can't meet the third criteria and are therefore not diagnosed - or even assessed.

 

If that sounded negative, it wasn't meant to ... I have just written an article on the traits of the autistic spectrum found in under 5 year olds, to try and raise awareness of the importance of early diagnosis and intervention.

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Hi justamom

I think we all have some traits but yes if we have a child with AS or ASD or related DX then I do think we prob look more at other children.My and my hubby find ourselfs do this especially at parties.If you are worried could you perhaps mention it to the mum tactfully or start a conversation up of how your child or a AS ASD child you know did that it the little ones age.

You would probably pick up on a child having AS ASD quicker than the mum would more so if it was there first child or they didn't know about the spectrum.One the other hand there may be nothing at all just go with your instincts.

 

Lisa x B)

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After my experience with my daughter I do this too.

 

sadly i did it to my son for two years and it left me unable to bond with him until he was about two and a half.As it happens he is fine but I wish i could get those years back.

 

Like someone was saying certain trigger words and my heart misses a beat.

 

The playschool teacher has only got to say can i have a word with you and my heart is in my mouth thinking is she going to say she has noticed something i missed.

 

Silly i know. I always check for it at parties too! Glad i'm not the only one.I would never say anything though case I was wrong.I probably would if I was asked though, what do you think?Then i guess i would kind of try to say tactfully easier said than done :(

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Thanks for the replies, I have read your post of walking on toes Stephanie and alot of people seem to say that alot of toddlers do this... I will probably have a quite word with my friend and see what her views are and take it from there.

 

Thanks alot

Justamom

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Oh yes! i'm the same. Have diagnosed AS or AS traits in several unsuspecting family members :P I think having a child with ASD does make you more aware particularly of the combination of traits in a person. However I think it can also make you a bit overvigilant too and I sometimes forget that many of us have some form of AS trait or another and it's simply part of the rich tapestry of life :) I've wondered about the sons of a couple of friends who appeared to have ASD traits as toddlers but a couple of years later it's been apparent they haven't had ASD just been a phase. Difficult to say about your friend's child, could be ASD, could just be one of those phases (man y of my friends NT toddlers are routine driven) that he'll outgrow or maybe he's got hearing difficulties or a language problem that could contribute to his behaviour. Maybe just gently probe your friend and see what response you get. She might have worries and be glad to chat to someone about it or she might be happy as things are

 

Lx

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