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Not again

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I just seen this on news and was in tears. I hope the mums found safe. I do feel for her. It's true that it will be forgotten about all to quickly :(

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I am worried that it is someone on this forum - there are any number of people at the end of their tether.

 

No doubt those who don't understand will call her selfish :crying: Whatever we feel - this poor woman needed help.

 

HelenL

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What sad news :crying: I fully understand how desperate her situation was. I hope something is done to avoid more tragedies like this.

 

Curra

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Oh lord, I was brought up and my parents live in the village...I know of a single parent who has a autistic son, in marple gonna have to phone my mum.This is tragic.

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I will be very angry if they blame this lady's depression for whatever has happened. :angry: Will anyone stop to ask why she was depressed :(

 

Oracle

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My sister told me about the boy and his mum being missing yesterday,we were talking about it as a friend of ours is severley depressed by looking after her autistic son,it is such a tragedy that people are allowed to feel like this and go without the help they so urgently need,my thought and prayers are with the family at this awful time :(

Edited by lindy-lou

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I can't stop thinking about this news. I am so upset and frustrated that something like this has happend. How desperate must her situation and state of mind been. I'm praying too, I can't think what else I can do.

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How desperate she must have been. Poor woman.

 

When will the authorities wake up to just how hard it can be. You only have to read some of the posts on this forum to see the high incidence of depression - because for so many of us, so much is a struggle. I can only hope that this tragedy gets some questions asked, like what could have been done to avoid this?

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This is just so sad....

 

It makes you so damned angry at this country and its lack of everything......there are so many (as we're all only too well aware of) desperate, frustrated, sad parents out there that have to survive a daily battle with little or no help at all in a situation that friends and families are totally oblivious to and GP's have little knowledge of.

 

The tears just can't stop falling - god bless this family and any others that are going through such torment.

 

Take care,

Jb X

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I was in a shop in town when this came over the radio and i had to fight back the tears :crying::(

The frightening thing is, i can (we probably all can ) understand how she was feeling and what she was going through.

 

God love him!

 

Clare

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The reason why things like this happen but nothing ever changes is due to the fact that blame is always attributed to the Autistic, not the lack of provision and services. The NAS is scared to use it's resources to promote a certain version of Autism in case they offend anybody: if it's like the US and Canada, portraying a mentally retarded child with no hope for the future unless they become less Autistic- Autistic adults will be offended. If they show Autistic adults living independently as Autistics, there will be parents groups that believe this will jeopodise their chances of getting services(usually with the intention of eliminating Autism in their children).

 

As a consequence of this, information on Autism in the UK is scarce and ends up coming from elsewhere. Few have access to real experts so set out themselves to become experts, they will by chance either come across the Autistic community or the Autism community and adopt the view of either one. This shapes Autism policy which currently says Autism is to be blamed for everything and anything where there is tradgedy and Autism put together.

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I caught this on the news today ... couldn't believe it not again!!!

 

I sat with my older son A and cried, Ryan was the same age as T and both with the same mental age, as has been I hope it is questioned as to why she was depressed, they said on the news she felt she had failed as a mother ... god I am sure we have all felt that at times ... A hugged and made me promise that no matter how bad things got I wouldn't ever think of doing that ... I am lucky I have good friends and family support, I have learnt the system and have got it to work for me, but there are too many parents out there struggling and feeling isolated and hopeless ... I am soo glad that there is this forum, I do pray that it wasn't one of our members ... Ryan and his mother will be in my thoughts tonight and I have lit them both a candle.

 

Lack of support, provision and acknowledgement of what its like bringing up our children, let alone having to cope with it all alone is what we here about on these boards all too often. The hand wringing will happen for a while, but how many will have to suffer before things can change.

 

I love my son and I love my life, but it wasn't always thus, our lives shrunk beyond belief a few years ago and only now are they beginning to expand. My thoughts, prayers and love go out to this family, such a sad loss and as always avoidable ...

 

HHxx

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Such very sad news - I've tried to keep it from J - poor woman must have been at her wits end ... there but for the grace of God could go any one of us ...

 

Thanks to all who give such excellent support on this forum.

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Guest hallyscomet

This is a sad and tragic story, and I imagine this poor woman had no one...... like this forum. Truly :wub:

 

Hailey.

Edited by hallyscomet

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The lady could have been depressed for many reasons, her depression doesn't have to have stemmed from having an autistic son. Very sadly, this could have happened with any depressed person.

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Yes,I agree but a new addition to the article is from her family,highlighting the plight of families coping with learning disabilities and mental health problems;speaks volumes.xx

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I also thought 'not again' when I heard the news, it's been all I can do to keep the tears in & thats just because I don't want M to catch me crying. That poor family..... like others have said, I'm so grateful for this place, having some where to find support whenever you need it.... I do hope it wasn't one of us :tearful::tearful:

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As soon as i heard this on the radio i fealt sick and started to cry.

 

So so very sad.

 

:crying::crying:

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This family live close to me although I don,t personally know them.I spoke to my local nas last night , she has given an interview for 5 live highlighting the plight faced by parents.It,s so sad :( ,suzex

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Locally parents have been calling me since yesterday :( They are all very upset and and thankful they have some support as we do here.

 

When you think about it 'we' are the ones providing the support which we need. That is those of us who are already under huge amounts of personal pressure. If it were not so :tearful: it would be :lol: We can't provide the physical support but we do care and we do understand. I thank god everyday that I have somehwere like this to post and I hope that those of us who do post here have the comfort blanket which we need to get through each day.

 

Maybe when all of this does hit the press big time we should all mail the BBC on-line news. It does not really matter what we say. What would matter is that there are large numbers of us sending out the same message. I don't know one person who has got the support or the respite for their child or their adult without a huge fight. But I would like to bet that the press will make much of the fact that this Mother was depressed :( We are either depressed or running on sheer adrenaline because of our constant battles.

 

I am going to ask my local parents to write to our local rag. Having just received a letter from our LA underlining how lucky we are to have professionals on board who are so committed to us parents and our children I am left wondering why then does my phone ring from 7am - midnight on many days?

 

My OTT signature says it all

 

Oracle

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:tearful: I know im repeating things here, but when will people realise that it is so difficult to cope, hand on heart how many times have we all felt like this? I bet there is not many people here 'in our family' that has not felt sucicidal. My heart has just gone to my boots, I do hope everyone here is safe.

 

:crying:

 

shaz

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Ive fealt suicidel many a time and if im realy realy honest ive also contemplated taking both my own and my sons life because ive been unable to cope at times and yet dont want to leave him behind.

 

Thing is though i wouldnt want my son to suffer and this method of jumping from a bridge seams so so brutal.If it had been pre planned i would have thought you would have used sleeping pills or something.

 

I dread to think what state her mind was in at the time how utterly desperate she must have been and maybe shes acted on impulse and desperation in a split second.

 

 

 

But if there was more support and more understanding of what its like day in day out and the stress it puts on the whole family maybe it wouldnt come to this.

 

 

I hope theyve both found peace.

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Can i just say i dont blame the autistic child.

 

I blame the system and lack of understanding and support and the constant battle we have to get any support on offer.Thats what grinds you down not the autistic child.Not for me anyway.

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I saw the story on the front page of a newspaper in the train station this morning - burst into tears.

 

It shouldn't have to be this way. This woman hasn't failed as a mother; the whole system has failed her and her son.

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>:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> To all.

 

This is such a tragedy and i think we can all understand how this poor mother felt. :tearful::crying::crying:

 

all my heart goes to her and the little boy his big smile is just like my son big smile, I have bought the Dailymail today (first time in my life) as they had made the head line with his picture. :crying::crying::crying:

While in their newspaper they explain that Ryan suffered from fragile X and autism on their internet link they do mention only fragile X ...but if anybody wishes to do so there is the possibility to make a comment at the end...

 

This is the link:

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/arti...in_page_id=1770

 

I have put two links as well from the independant one about Ryan and his mother the other is a research which link stress with depression.... why is it that I am not surprised????

 

http://news.independent.co.uk/uk/this_brit...ticle358350.ece

 

 

http://news.independent.co.uk/uk/health_me...ticle358354.ece

 

I hope that all from this group are well and safe. >:D<<'>

 

How many more tragedy before getting some form of credibility???. :tearful:

 

Malika.

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i heard about this at the weekend ,and when i heard it was a mother and child,i wondered.i thought it cant be.then today front page mother and autistic child missing.so many people with kids with autism are at the end of there teathers,when are the government going to help us....i think we should all be very angry.and upset for Alison and Ryan.she thought she was a failure.SHE WAS NO FAILURE.she was failed by the system that doesnt do enough for kids with problems like ryan.we are up against the education system,we cant work,what happened to Alison breaks my heart...noogsy

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Had an e-mail again from the lady that runs our local support group, after the 5 live interview the BBC contacted her and she gave them an interview at her home this afternoon.She has two autistic sons.From what I can gather this is just to be shown on our local north west news.Shall update you later.

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