school uniform

[LKS]

There is quite a strict uniform policy at my dd's primary. I'm talking proper shirts and ties and shorts for the boys in the summer term. The school have only just started to allow the girls to wear trousers in the winter term as some parent threatened the equal opportunities or some such stuff. My dd was delighted about being able to wear trousers as this is all she ever wears at home. The HT believes the strict uniform policy is responsible for the schools good results, which is a load of b******s. Anyway back to school on Tuesday and into summer uniform, skirt and blouse or summer dress. I worked really hard with dd to explain about wearing the skirt, but she wanted to wear tights (plain dark blue) Snotty note in her home/school book today. "Just to remind you that school uniform for girls is skirt or summer dress with white socks" Well I know what the ###### school uniform is, I've had a child at this school since 1990!!! She is wearing everything correctly except the God damn socks Where is their understnading again. DD is distraught about wearing socks as they told her she must. I think like most schools the uniform is encouraged but not compulsary. I know this is a small thing but it has really annoyed me. I am going to continue to send her in tights until she feels comfortable about wearing socks. The note was from the LSA who I really expected to know better.

[Flora]

LKS, yeah stick to your guns. What on earth sort of difference does it make to them if she wears tights or socks?

 

Lauren

[bugbug]

How pathetic. I agree, stick to your guns. What the hell does it matter! Will she not be able to learn the same without socks!

Edited April 19, 2006 by bugbug

[lisann]

Totally agreee it's total rubbish what on earth does it matter if it's socks or tights.

 

It's not like she's had her nose pierced got two tatoos and dyed her hair green.It makes you wonder if they have anything better to do.

 

P.S I thought it wasn't compulsory to have a uniform until comprehensive school.???

 

Lisa x

[LKS]

Yep you are right lisann. The school say they encourage the children to wear uniform. (in fact in the infants they stress this is not compulsory) have just copied this bit from the school brochure

 

 

 

We like to see our pupils well dressed. We have a uniform in which we take pride. This means that it should be clean and worn correctly. The uniform, worn in this way, reflects our ethos: a school that has a positive attitude to learning, personal and corporate commitment to disciplined, work orientated behaviour, and a respect for the individual and for others

 

Well I hope they respect my dd's wish to wear tights then

[mrs phasmid]

as parents we often exhaust ourselves with the constant day to day battles that are part and parcel of the fun of living with our children, in this case i think it is a case of picking your battle . totally respect your daughters wish to wear tights if this is what makes her feel safe after all would they insist on this socks only policy if it was an issue of belief? i would council however that you try to reach a compromise with the school maybe they would allow her to wear white tights you know the lacy patterned sort that are available for summer wear then it would look like she wearing socks but your daughter would be happy wearing her tights

[OPooh]

That is ridiculous.

[justamom]

I agree stick to your guns, what a good suggestion mrsphasmid, wearing different coloured tights as not to draw to much attention to the fact that she is wearing tights, and she will be happy with wearing tights.

 

Hope it works out for you

 

Justamom

[bid]

Just to say 'Hi' to Mrs. P!!

 

Bid

[Mummy21]

I agree they are just being picky, if it was me though the only thing I would do different is clarify with the school that she IS wearing tights and for the reasons.......... don't just send her in them, I am only thinking if something similar was to happen with my son he would be more distressed at teachers telling him he had the wrong thing on.....

 

I know all children are different and your daughter mighten be bothered by the teacher, just checking

[LKS]

Thanks for all of your replies. Hello Mrs. Phasmid. DD loved the idea about white 'lacy tights' although they will probably be less than white when she gets home ho hum. The thing that bothers me about this is the inflexibility of it. DD is wearing tights still because she is cold and she does not like to have her legs uncovered. Last year as Easter was so early and it was still quite cold many girls still wore tights. I did eventually get dd in to socks but this takes a really long time. The girls are still managing to look different. We have short socks, long socks, socks pulled right up over the knee like a certain footballer and trainer socks. I am sure it won't be long before we get a letter telling us what sort of socks to wear Mummy 21 I have put a little note in dd's book just to explain that she will continue to wear tights and would they be happier with white ones. She would be really upset if a teacher said anything. Shame they don't put so much effort in to teaching her to read (exit with bitter laugh)

[Elouise]

Just a note; When Nathan was in mainstream secondary with a VERY strict school uniform policy the SENCO over-ruled the governing body using the Disability Discrimination Act (1995) pointing out this was a boy with very sensitive sensory responses and if they did not want a streaker they would have to allow him to wear clothes that felt comformtable to him in school colours.

Nathan wore soft trutex sport shirts, sandels, soft fleece, soft trousers. Everyone else had to wear ties, shirts, blazers....

 

Annie at 8 refuses to wear anything BUT trousers or tights. She gets hysterical if the wind blows on her legs (poor kids a little bit too DAMP) her IEP lists how sensitive she is and again whilst other kids are 'encouraged' to wear the correct uniform the school cuts her slack to make life at school bearable for her.

 

Its a fine line for them to tread between those who need slack cut because of genuine difficulties and those who cannot bothered to adhere to the uniform policy as they want to send their kids in fully fashioned labelled. *the joys of living in a wealthy area*.

[Paula]

I think all school uniforms are stupid and shouldnt be in existance.

 

In my opinion it makes no difference to there learning capabilities whether there wearing jeans,have there nose pierced or in my daughters case once had purple streaks in her haire she still was top of the bloomeing school year and had fantastic grades and yet................. All the school whinged about was the fact shed a cartlidge peircing and had streaks.I thought sod yer.

 

Plus most girls and lets face it boys will find a way to alter the uniform to fit there personalities.I mean i remember we used to roll over our skirt waistes to make them into mini skirts.Nothing alters.

 

More time spent on teaching less on what folks look like.

[Tez]

Just to agree with Elouise, one of the reasons A's registered school gave for not being able to meet his needs was that all expert advice pointed out his extreme sensory difficulties with school uniform and how the wearing of it impeded on his ability to learn. The school felt it would be inappropriate to allow him any concessions since uniform was an important part of the identity of the school.

 

The LEA, pointed out to them that this would be considered a reasonable adjustment, and failure to allow A to dress in a manner that was not painful to him would in all probability result in a disability discrimination case.

[LKS]

Thanks for all of your replies. Had a disaster of a morning. DD very upset and not wanting to go to school because she was scared of being told off about wearing tights. Even though I told her I have written a note to the teacher. She said she would wear socks and then got really upset because she didn't like the feel of them Plus it's really chilly this morning and raining She has gone off in socks which she is repeatedly pulling up or rolling down. I still fail to see what difference it makes whether she is wearing tights or socks as she is wearing the rest of the correct uniform. It's a bit like their policy for track suits for games. As soon as the kids return after Easter they are expected to do games outside in shorts and T-shirts regardless of the cold. Sometimes they might be allowed to wear their jumpers or cardigans over the top if it's freezing! The school fails to use its common sense again and allow parents and children to decide how cold they are. Summer term and thats it, summer clothes. Paula you are right about kids personalising their uniforms, even in primary some of the older girls have managed to make it look so unlike a uniform

[mrs phasmid]

whilst i agree with all above regarding the dda i would stand by what i said if dd happy with thought of lacy tights go for it there is little they can do they cannot exclude a child for the actions of a parent that is illegal and at your dd age and ability you are in charge (as far as they are concerned) keep reasonable adjustment within the dda as a back up but tell them immediatly in writing any concern about school uniform is to be discussed with you and you alone as it is interfearing with your daughters education to keep on at her and could even breach the human rights act aticle 26 para 2 where it states aboiut education and tolerance and education should be dierected to the full development of the human personality

[Tez]

DD very upset and not wanting to go to school because she was scared of being told off about wearing tights. Even though I told her I have written a note to the teacher. She said she would wear socks and then got really upset because she didn't like the feel of them

 

LKS there is no easy answer is there? A was exactly the same, any concession on uniform wouldn't have worked because he couldn't have coped with comments from the other pupils or teachers.

 

From the school viewpoint, they can't see the problem, children do alter the uniform to suit themselves, but A wouldn't because he's rule bound, so top shirt button done up and tie fully tightened with 6 stripes showing, which the school rules stated, meant just that. The problems it caused were unbelievable.

[puffin]

Sounds like some members of staff do not have enough to do!

 

Can/will she wear the socks OVER the tights? - then technically she is not breaking the rules - unless they can show you one where it says tights may not be worn at all.

 

I would have thought that wearing tights would be considered a reasonable adjustment. I have the opposite problem with the school complaining when dd goes to school without tights/trousers when snowing! If she gets hot - she gets eczema!

[LKS]

Tez you are right no easy answer. I thought I had done so well explaining to her about changing to a skirt and was very proud when she accepted it eventually. I didn't for one moment consider that socks or tights would cause such a problem. As I have stated she wore tights last year until the weather warmed up. I then spent much time with her choosing socks, letting her wash them so they had 'her' smell and generally getting her used to them. There was no problem then. Mrs. Phasmid I have been on a mission to find white lacy tights and luckily have found some fine knitted ones and 'proper' tight like ones as well I think my problem has been how the school have approached this. If they had talked to me and said how 'important' it was to them for dd to wear socks and could we work together on this, then it might have gone better, but no they have to go on the attack. This wasn't a standard letter either this was hand written.

[Mummy21]

I am glad you found the white tights...... bless her, my son is rule bound too and this would have been distressing to have been defying one.......

 

Hugs to you both......

 

Joanne xxx

 

P.S. I agree with you about the reading, if only they put their energies where they are needed, at least she was attending school and at least she was dressed !!!!!

[Paula]

A freind of mine once phoned up the high school my Nt daughter attends along with her son and said

 

"Why dont yer just ###### issue a school wig hey and have done with it" Theyd had a few issues over hairestyle and colures.

 

I wished to god id thought of that line i could have kicked me sen especially when they kept whingeing on about me daughters bloomeing haire.

 

I hate the fact that all traces of personality have to be wiped away to attend school.Why ?

 

 

Luckily My As son attends a special school and they can wear what the hell they like no one gives a toss.And suprise surprise Headmasters and mistresses of other schools anarchy aint broken out and kids are still capable of learning.

[DaisyProudfoot]

I hate the fact that all traces of personality have to be wiped away to attend school.Why ?

 

I think this is to reduce the problems of bullying and singling out. If a less well-to-do child turned up in cast-off hand-me-downs while better off kids turned up in the latest gear this could cause tension within the playground - even at primary level. If everyone turns up in a uniform (even hand-me-downs) as all my kids (bar the eldest) have done it is one less thing for kids to pick up on.

 

I say this because on "own clothes" days which our primary sometimes runs for their building fund my daughter can spend all morning selecting the appropriate clothes so that she doesn't get picked on at school.

 

However, I do believe school uniform should flexible to cope with childrens' likes and dislikes. Our primary school is supposed to have a winter uniform and a summer uniform. School joggers and school sweatshirts with polo shirts in the winter; summer dresses for the girls and shorts for the boys. Martin (AS) will not wear shorts and prefers to wear his winter joggers all year round. In summer he wears winter joggers with socks and sandals! But he's happy and the school don't stop him.

 

I have to admit I am concerned when he gets to high school which has very strict regulations. It's an all boys school and although comprehensive is run like the grammar school I they won't allow trainers except for PE activities - Martin won't wear proper shoes.

 

Ho hum!

[k9ruby]

I can see exactly what she means, and i hope you can get this sorted!!! (i hate the feel of bare legs myself)

[Mummy21]

they won't allow trainers except for PE activities - Martin won't wear proper shoes.

 

Ho hum!

 

 

Have you tried Clarks Shoes? J hates 'proper shoes' but Clarks make them look a bit like black trainers........ good for a compromise.

 

Joanne xxx

[mrs phasmid]

Have you tried Clarks Shoes? J hates 'proper shoes' but Clarks make them look a bit like black trainers........ good for a compromise.

 

Joanne xxx

remember the bit in the dda2005 where it says reasonable adjustment i think you would have a case

[LKS]

DD went off to school in socks again. She told me that white tights are not allowed The first thing she did with her socks when she got home was throw them in the bin I have managed to hook them out again. LSA told me her behaviour was a bit erratic today. Very tearful about the slightest thing. Would hate to think that socks were the cause Just want to add that my ds wears the Clarks shoes that to me look very like trainers and very comfy as well. School have never commented on them.

[pumpkinpie]

I agree with Mrs P that school needs to rethink their position. This is a reasonable adjustment under the dda. I would write point out your suggestion and your daughters changed behaviour as per the lsa. I wouldnt wait and see just ahve it ready on monday.

Thet y are being unreasonable here and to let your daughter suffer because of socks is bordering on the absurd.